The Effects of Nursing on Nurses
Hi, welcome to my blog post. I have never had a blog post get more than 50 comments, so I am a bit overwhelmed. After responding to many comments, here is a note:
Note: I wrote this blog entry at the end of my 3rd 12 hour shift in three days. I was tired and I was emotional. It is a blog post, not an “article.” It is not researched or sourced, it is purely opinion.
The point of this post is that nurses (and many other professions) need to take the time to practice self care and to encourage one another to practice self care.
My biggest mistake in this post (and there are many) was to use “her” or “she” when I should have used “they” or them.” I ignored my male coworkers, and I should not have. You have my apologies, and I have corrected the post. I have left “she” and “her” in place in the portion where I talk about my coworker.
I have read every comment posted and deleted some very nasty comments that were not helpful to conversation. If you feel this is the place to spew your vitriol, it is not.
August 11, 2013
This morning, while I was giving report to the day shift nurse taking over my patients, she burst into tears.
She’s going to miss her children’s hockey play offs due to our strictly enforced every other weekend schedules. You work every other weekend, no more, no less, unless you are going to college (I work every weekend because I’m in college). She’s their hockey coach, and inevitably, each year, their last game falls on a day their mother has to work. I’ve come in early for her before.
So I offered to come in on my night off for an hour and a half so she could get to the game. I’m coming in that early because I know she won’t be done charting.
She turned me down until another day RN got involved. I reminded my coworker I only live a mile from the hospital, and it really wasn’t a big sacrifice for me. She finally agreed, and calmed down. We got permission from the charge nurse.
Nursing is one of the largest professions in the world. If you don’t know a nurse, I’m really surprised. Nurses talk a lot about the rewards of nursing. Catching that vital sign, saving lives, providing comfort, but nurses, by nature, are taught to martyr themselves on the altar of nursing.
When I was a new grad, I hated coming to work so much that I would wish I’d get hit by a car on my way to work just to get out of work. One night, while checking medication sheets, I confessed this to some experienced nurses and found out some of them still felt the same way.
In nursing, it is NORMAL to have days where you wake up and just can’t mentally and emotionally face the day at work. I swear, the only other people who can understand this are nurses.
Nursing is emotionally, physically and mentally taxing, and some days you run too low on what you can give emotionally, physically and mentally. That minor back injury you don’t want to report to HR because you don’t want it on your record. Having a patient with constant diarrhea who can’t get out of bed and needs to be physically rolled and cleaned several times an hour. The cold you got from the two-year old someone brought in. The sorrow that comes from supporting someone who has just found out they were dying, holding in your own tears so you could wipe theirs. In one day, all of those patients could be yours.
I don’t know a nurse who hasn’t taken a mental health day. Some do it by requesting more vacation than others. Some do it by calling in sick, but it’s all time off because we are too drained to give anymore.
So if you know a nurse, and that nurse mentions to you that they feel like calling in because they just can’t take it another day, don’t give them a hard time. Especially if you have an 8-5 job with weekends off or some other really great schedule. The 12 hour shifts nurses work mean we miss the entire holiday we work with our families. Night shift nurses have to choose between holiday dinners or sleep. Often, if a nurse chooses to sleep rather than go to the holiday dinner, guilt ensues. Even though I’ve told my mother-in-law repeatedly that every nurse has to work holidays, she makes a point to say how horrible it is my husband has to be alone for a few hours. What about me? Working my ass off while everyone else celebrates?
We work hard. We are intentionally understaffed by our hospitals to improve profit, even if the hospital is a non-profit. We help people at the worst times of their lives, and often have no way to debrief, to get it off our chests. We don’t just bring warm blankets and pills. We are college educated, degreed professionals who are often treated like uneducated, lazy servants. We get sexually harassed by our patients. We get groped, punched, cut, I even know of a nurse on my floor being strangled (she survived).
Nursing can be rewarding. But nursing is a fucking hard job. If you are afraid of healthcare rationing, you should know it is already happening. Nurses are unable to give everyone the care they need, so patients with smaller problems may not get the same level of care. A nurse may be pressed to only give the minimum amount of care to a patient if they have 5 or more very sick patients. If you don’t want healthcare rationing, talk to your local hospitals about their nurse to patient ratios. Talk to your doctors. If you hear of legislation to support nurse to patient ratios, vote for it. Support it.
So if a nurse needs a day off, you support them. If you’re in a position to help like I was this morning, do so. If you are a nurse, go easier on yourself when you think about the things you didn’t finish, or the things you should have said. It’s a 24-hour a day job and you don’t have to do it alone.
As of January 27, 2014, this post is no longer accepting comments. I am doing this as a practice of self care. Tending to this blog post, several times a day, has become a burden. It has had over 2 million hits, and I am tired. The post has become a platform for people who want to propel their own agendas and are using my space to do so. Thanks to all who said such nice things, and to everyone else, go write your own blog.
Posted on August 11, 2013, in Nursing and tagged Health care, Nursing, registered nurse. Bookmark the permalink. 2,612 Comments.
ofcourseitsaboutyou 
“Nursing can be rewarding. But nursing is a fucking hard job!” My favorite quote from the whole post!
Very true. I myself am a nurse. I am a LPN and I was so disrespected because I was not a RN. My employer at the time stated it was going to be hard for me to rank because I wasn’t a RN. I was treated like shit by the head nurse who did the scheduling. I even came to work for her on my day off so she could get some rest. I asked her to give me report on her patients and she turned to me and said just get to work. Needless to say I quit shortly after. These people degraded me so bad. I am scared to go back to being a nurse, I feel I am never gonna be good enough. I now work with mentally disabled persons and have less of a headache, although it’s still challenging I am very much appreciated for my work and education.
I’m sorry if this comes across as rude but I know a few nurses and see posts and re-posts on Facebook frequently about how difficult the day-to-day is for nurses and ‘hug your nurse’ etc. The issue I have is that nobody forced you to become a nurse. Why is everyone supposed to feel for you, etc. when this is the profession you choose? Maybe you decided to become a nurse because you genuinely care about the sick and want to help in their time of need. Or maybe it seemed like great money. Either way, you had to know that it would be a somewhat stressful occupation, so why all of the complaining, etc.?
Agreed Anna. Do not want be insensitive. I am a lab worker. I work the same long hrs, same holidays, same rigid schedule and similar patient contact. We are also intentionally understaffed and overworked. And we also have degrees. More advanced than most nurses, yet we make half of the money they make. You don’t hear of lab techs complaining on end. We do out jobs well because we love our jobs. We chose our career field because we love it. And if we have to complain so often, we leave it. I am grateful for nurses but I am equally grateful for all health care personnel behind the scenes. Nurses are not any more or less important than the rest of us.
Risa, exactly how much complaining is it permissible for a nurse to do before you decree that s/he ought to leave his/her job?
Do you really think it’s unreasonable for nurses to complain a bit, on their own time, in the privacy of their own homes, on a blog written by a nurse about the difficulties of the nursing profession?
Personally, I’m wondering what YOU’RE doing here, if you’re not a nurse and don’t want to hear any complaints from nurses. Why not find some other blog or message board, dealing with a subject that’s more to your liking?
It really is interesting how negatively some people (especially non-nurses) are reacting to this discussion. Maybe they have higher expectations of nurses than is realistic? If the public sees us as selfless angels of mercy, rather than living, breathing human beings with stressors and concerns and limited energy and patience, I guess I can see why they’d get angry at us for venting….but IS that the way they see us? Would they be reacting this way if we were police officers or air traffic controllers or CPAs complaining about stress in our jobs?
You go girl!
Almost every occupation is stressful. But the problem with nursing is that nurses are underpaid and overworked. We CHOSE this career to care for the sick regardless of who they are and what they think. At the end of the day, we risk our lives in order to deliever the prime degree of care. And yes, we CAN complain because if we bottled up all our feelings, it will be catastrophic either emotionally, mentally or physically. You should really research a little bit more about the nursing profession or maybe pursue a career as a nurse so you can see the tremendous stress and anxiety nurses deal with on a daily basis.
I was a CNA for over 30 years, originally from Conn.,moved to Florida. and I agree about the Nurse/Patient Ratio. these Hospitals and Nursing Homes in Florida are so ridiculous, after working my Cahooney off for so many years in Healthcare in this State, I refuse to do it anymore. I loved the 12 hour shifts, for only 3 days a week, but they worked you to death.I have seen Nurses with total bloodshot eyes, so tired, but they still had to work their shift through, I would not want that kind of arrangement caring for me if I was sick, and believe me when I tell you ,,Patients are more sick then ever before! When you have facilities calling patients customers or clients, that is where I draw the line. that is the problem with the economy in this country, the Tea Party and Koch Brothers have been buying this country piece by piece, for far too long . when you have Insurance companies making decisions for Doctors,, something is wrong. WAKE UP AMERICA,, !!!! lets take our country back from the Corporation take over.
Bill, I would suggest you shadow a nurse. I personally was offended by your statements. The nursing profession is NOT like others professions. Do you have someone clawing at you, begging you to not let them die in your every day line of work? I think not. Have you looked at a split open person from a motorcycle accident and know that there is nothing that can be done for them, to have them look at you and plead for you to fix them? Coded a baby? Yep, I didn’t think so. I am proud to be a highly educated nurse. I make a very real difference in people’s lives every shift. I’m sure you do in your chosen profession as well. Nursing is tough profession. Please don’t minimize what we do and under what circumstances we perform our duties.
I am now a retired RN and I can’t tell you how many nights driving down Rte 93 to an 11-7 shift I wanted to just take any exit and go home. I would think of quitting nursing and working at Walmart. I felt I could not sleep, eat or socialize right when working nights. No one understands us but other nurses. One neighbor thought night shift was just 3-11 another asked me why I worked Mother’s day, Easter, Fourth of July, etc. They don’t have clue. I tried working rotating days. I frequently was scheduled all 3 shifts in one week. I can remember driving on 93 in the dark and thinking “am I coming or going?” Finally just before I retired for good I found 2 great jobs. One was in ambulatory care and closed most holidays, no nights. The other was VNA for psychiatric patients. Sounds scary but not so really. You get a schedule and you schedule the patients the way you want. Paper work was a lot but you could do it at home, watching soaps if you like. When I first went into nursing my dad was so proud of me. And when I had to work the first Thanksgiving and Christmas, he said you just call that hospital and tell them you can’t work holidays, tell them you have a family. Ha-Ha – Look around for an ambulatory clinic or think of VNA. Get out of the hospital, they will not admit to staffing shortages ever!!!!
I work labor and drlivery. 12 hour nights full time. I am 5 years aeay from retiring and pray I .make it. I have never worked we si dangerously short staffed in my 40+ years of nursing. Hospitals have become corporate giants. They are all about the almighty dollar. Screw the patients and staff including the nursing assistant s for those lucKY enough to have them. There are days I really hate mu job
This is all very true. I have been a nurse for 20 years and I dread everyday I have to work, to me it is like a punishment but I still haven’t figured out what I did to deserve this punishment. I dream about getting out changing my career but it is too difficult with family obligations. I am stuck; everything I earn that is “extra” is for my children’s education. Love this and so wish I could escape!
I am very appreciative whenever a nurse speaks up and tells the truth. I have been a nurse for almost 34 years and having been a CNA, LPN and now an RN I can tell you this “opinion” is a reality. I absolutely love the calling to nursing and talent for it that I have been blessed with but it is a stressful job as much as a rewarding one. I work in home care doing skilled care now and the issues are the same as when I worked the trauma unit. I am very fortunate that we are unionized so we have at least some reasonable work rules but those rules are only as strong as each of our members exercise them.
As nurses we are the largest voting body in the United States. We advocate every day in many ways for our patients so, despite the challenges we have, they at least can receive the safest best quality care possible. We need to advocate for our profession with the same diligence and passion that we do for our patients. We need to come together and use the power that is just sitting there waiting for us to take it and vote in health care polices and laws that protect our patients; promote safe working conditions in our facilities for our nurses so that we leave it better than we found it, retain nurses in the profession, improve it for the rest of our careers and ensure our communities get the care they deserve.
I know that this may seem like a daunting task and individually “what can I do” but I am here to tell you one voice does make a difference and, if one voice makes a difference, imagine what our many voices can do. We need to form unity in our work place among nurses and as a group speak out because in injury to one of us is an injury to all of us. Everyday we allow ourselves to be treated this way we are allowing ourselves to be victimized. Would we ever not address it if it were a patient? Hell, no! We would do what we could to help improve their condition. It is time we IN A BIG WAY turned nursing process on ourselves and really join together to promote and enforce reasonable working conditions which has statistically over and over been shown to save lives and decrease morbidities. It won’t happen just talking about it a the lunch table, if you get a lunch; it won’t happen in a blog, though it is a good catalyst; it won’t happen by praying about it. It will happen when every day we take a step one foot in front of the other to help each other and don’t stop until it is right.
Thank you for putting your heart out on the line; that we, while we have work to do, we aren’t in this alone,
Bette
Very we’ll put. Don’t think I could have worded it better myself. All the nurses on my very small unit are experiencing the “I can give or care anymore”. This blog speaks 100% truth.
It does not mean you are a bad nurse or cold hearted Bc you get this way. It’s normal. Ppl caring for sick family members in their homes need respite care, if they need a break why wouldn’t nurses. Thanks for putting this out there.
I have been a nurse since 1974
I hate the chanhes nursing is going through.It seems like they are pushing for more educated nurses and focusing less on the patients because it looks good on paper. They are trying to force us older nurses to go back to school by cutting some benefits and bonuses unless you habe a certain degree..forget experience. We are to old..We retire in a few years..probaby before we finish the program. WE WANT OUR FOCUS NOW ON FAMILY AND TRAVEL AND RELAXATION. Not on term papers.
Some have a short time left on this earth.
Omg this post took the words out of my mouth!!! It’s true in so many ways and although I’m proud to be a nurse, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve thought of another career. For the people who have anything negative to say, like she said, it’s purely an opinion and you wouldn’t understand unless you’re a nurse or work doing some kind of bedside care. Nursing is not easy and very under appreciated! So to all my fellow nurses, YOU ROCK! And THANK YOU!!
CNA’s bust their asses too. We do direct one on one care. We do a lot of physical work an get beat up too. I am going to school fulltime and work at two facilities (LTC and a hospital). It is extremely draining emotionally and physically. Yes the only other people we can talk to are our nurses and fellow CNA’s. They are the only ones who understands. Being short all the time and being abused, by not only the people we are caring for bit by the system too. Don’t get me wrong….. I love doing what I do and the only reason I am going to school is because my body won’t let me be a CNA forever so nursing it will have to be for me. After all is said and done though I have to admit, the friendships bonded and the lives saved is what keeps me going:)
Venus, You are totally right. I am an RN and have told my CNA’s over and over again how much they are appreciated. We have a great team at our facility and people help each other. I do no know for sure but I would guess that the author of this blog was not separating out CNA’s from RN’s. After all we are all in the nursing field.
Well said!
So true yesterday I got hemmed up by my patient who practically pinned me to the bed….although he was restrained i was held against the bed rail by my fleece sleeve and hair. ….The sad part was there were 4 male residents there at the bedside who didn’t even bother to step in…I had to stretch Armstrong it and turn back on his sedation in order to get him to let me go….His family member who was also at bedside was so apologetic and disgusted that the doctor’s didn’t step in to help me…
We are in in a profession of caring for others in their time of need…..their most vulnerable state, and through both the best and worst days of their lives, yet we are notoriously known to “eat our young”. We tend to be catty and partake in behavior that most of us would frown upon if our own children were caught being a part of. However………at any given time, when one of us is in need, be it a family emergency, the death of a loved one, divorce, marriage, a new baby, we come together and support each other and act as the family we have become by working together…………..THIS is at least true for where I work. I can honestly say that in my nursing career (I am an OB nurse), I have seen the happiest of days as well as the darkest. I have helped bring life into the world, as well as held the hands of a grieving mother as she births a baby that will never take his/her first breath. I have cried in the arms of my co-workers as well as opened my arms for them to cry in when needed. I work 40 nights, and have 4 children of my own. I have missed football and soccer games, sick vomiting children in the middle of the night that only want their momma, as well as family gatherings and holidays because I needed to sleep or work. I am known to stay up for 30 hours or more just to be able to spend time with my children and husband on my night off.
Our work is sometimes underappreciated by others, simply because they haven’t walked in our shoes. Like anything, you can not understand it fully unless you live it. I do not pretend to know what it is like to be a police officer, a paramedic, or a fire fighter because I have never experienced their profession. I think they are grossly underpaid for the fantastic life saving and giving job they do every day!! As for me, the nurse………….I wouldn’t trade my job for any other profession in the world!! Good day or bad, I am doing exactly what I told my grandmother I would when I was 8 years old, and loving it…!!!
You spoke my words…..toughest and BEST job in the world. My vocation! Never felt like driving “off the road” so I wouldn’t have to work (that seems a bit extreme)…but I would say a little prayer on the drive in for strength and patience. Absolutely respect and adore those who do bedside nursing…it’s a priveleged place to be AND not for sissies for sure! My story? 32 years at the bedside, 26 of those in ICU…back getting my masters , working in education so I can continue to support my heroes at the bedside!!!
Thank you so much for what you do. I am a nurse in home health. I spent my time in the hospital on med-surg and endoscopy. From there I entered outpatient dialysis which I loved. I spent a couple years traveling in chronic and acute dialysis. That changed when I married a man that worked 2nd shift for FedEx Express. We never saw each other, so I had to find a new place in nursing. I know how hard it is to deal with family members like the blogger’s mother-in-law. My husband had every holiday (even most minors) off and so did all his family. They understood, but he didn’t at first. I grew up with a father that worked at a nuclear plant, so it’s never been a big deal for me to sacrifice when I must. Now I’m blessed to have an 8-5 M-F home health position as quality nurse and interim DON.
Anyway, I wanted to thank you specifically since yoy work on OB. Three weks ago tomorrow I went for a routine prenatal checkup at 23wks. My son’s HR was good in the 130-140 range. I had developed some bad pelvic pain after emptying my bladder that morning. My OB suspected it was possibly a bladder infection or the stretching ligaments. I didn’t buy the ligament thing because of how I felt. I went on to work since we were having a corporate survey to prepare for state survey, but called a couple hours later. I was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t even sit without hurting. I was told to push fluids and take Azo pills. That evening when I got home, the pain had goten worse and when I sat down on the couch, I couldn’t get up. My husband tried to help, but it wasn’t happening. I called the answering service and the on call doc told me to come to L&D so they could check me out. The nurses found Dylan’s HR, but he was moving too much to get a good read. When my doc did an US, everything looked okay. Dylan’s HR was arond 111-120. I was admitted for testing and obs. The pain increased throughout the night. I was getting IV Dilaudid q2h with relief from a 9 to an 8. They were begining to suspect a bowel obstruction because I was having no bleeding. At repeat US the next morning it was discovered that my son had no heartbeat and I had ascites all in my ABD. When the OB came to check, he noticed a ruptured uterus. I was rushed to emergency surgery to remove Dylan and try to repair my uterus. Fortuntely they were able to fix it and didn’t have to do a hysterectomy. I deliverd my daughter at 28wks via c-section due to sever pre-eclampsia. It appears Dylan implanted over the old uterine incision and weakened it. He ultimately saved my life by losing his due to his positioning. Sadly, him being over the rupture made it impossible to see when it first started. The nurses that cared for me during that stay were amazing. The nurse that admitted me was not my nurse the day of the surgery, but when she found out, she made a point to come by my room to see me and gave me a big hug. The compassion I was shown was very helpful after the loss. I’ve dealth with death many times in my career, but to try and care for a family that is grieving on what should be a happy hospital stay has to be horrible, so thank you!
All this is so true!!!! We give it all to our pts and their families. Then our directors just don’t understand why it’s do hard to just smile and let some pts and families yell and intentionally ignore the rules. We have no back up. No one protecting or supporting us!!! We only have each other so we need to be sure to take care if each other everyday. I would never let a family verbally beat down a coworker. I would stand up fur them. Even if I am seen as having a bad attitude with those families.
X-CCRN of ~15 years, and support what is being said here. I have had positions both inside and outside of Nursing that would be considered stressful. None of the others came close to the Nursing experience. I think we continue to have a Nursing Image issue that surrounds the general public not knowing what ‘we’ do. The bottom line is perhaps most apparent to those that have been critically-ill and realize the value of a good Nurse. I would propose the Wellness Promoter and Stiff Chaser get together and continue their intellectual masterbation over some coffee and donuts. As for Nurses, you clearly have one of the most stressful positions known, be aware and think through what you can do to manage it while providing for patients, self and loved ones.
Very well said and so very true , I am a nurse at an assisted living facility which should be considered skilled with the types of residence we have . It amazes me of the residence they accept just to fill the room …. I am coming off a horrible weekend shift , where I was the only nurse for 70 patients and we are so understaffed and everyone is so burnt out that no one wanted to come in and help . I personally don’t blame them . So I had to suck it up and do what I could … There where parts of the day I wanted to walk out and just quit bc I was being pulled in 100 different directions … Residence keep moving in and out staffing stays the same . I don’t understand how they thing that is going to work … Thank you for ur blog it makes me feel better knowing that it’s not just me feeling like this … I became a nurse to be a patient advocate an to be there for Someone during a difficult time or shoot just to be there to listen and I can even do that bc I am getting called into another room for one of my 33 residence …. You give me a little hope that maybe we should start taking a stand …. Thank you so much
Danielle LPN
After reading your blog, it brought me back to about 10 years ago when I worked 12 hour night shift. I remember telling my mom how sometimes I just wished to get in to a car accident on my way to work. (Not a serious one). Just so I could “rest”. She didn’t understand. Not really, but I think she thought I was crazy, and sometimes so did I. I’m glad to hear that I am not the only one that felt so drained, emotionally and physically. Thanks for your blog!
Yes Jenny thanks for remembering the certified nursing assistant who can’t afford to go back to school and spends more time with the patients than the nurses and doctors. They have the same schedules and same policies as everyone who works in the hospital.They make less money and get the same treatment from nurses, management , families and the patient too. We need some respect and honor . We do this because we care and yes we take it home because 12 hours at night plays back in your mind during the day and you have sleepless days. We love our job but will have to wait a lifetime to be rewarded by our Father in Heaven.
God will bless you Roma! I always respect and try to tell my CNA’ thank you for all their hard work. We don’t always get to have a nursing assistant, but when we do I so appreciate them. Some of the best coworkers I have ever worked with have been CNA’s. My 1st job in the hospital as a new nurse I had the honor of working with a seasoned CNA and I think I learned more from her about nursing and patient care than anyone else. Take care of yourself, especially your back. And thank you for all you do…to all nursing team members
MY GRAND DAUGHTER JUST STARTED HER CAREER AND SHE IS ALREADY ”TIRED OUT” 12 HOURS IS SO HARD ESPECIALLY WHEN EVERYTING IS SO FAST PACED BUT IT SLOWS DOWN AND YOU GET SO TIRED AND THE TIME GOES SO SLOW SO THEN YOU ARE CAUGHT BETWEEN A ”ROCK AND A HARD PLACE ”.SOMETIMES THE NURSES THAT GO UP IN THEIR CAREERS JUST ‘FORGET” WHY THEY WANTED TO GO UP TOO SOON………I JUST HOPE MY GRAND DAUGHTER REALIZES WHAT IS HAPPENING AND GIVES IT A CHANCE OR MAYBE I SHOULD SAY,THE HOSPITAL WILL GIVE HER A CHANCE TO BECOME WHAT SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN, A GOOD ”NURSE”.
Sarah,
It is going to get better. Give your granddaughter a ton of emotional support, encourage rest and relaxation on days off and encourage her to find a mentor. It DOES get better.
Your note hit right smack in the middle of my heart. I am an RN of 30 + years and also have a daughter who as a young child spent a lot of time in the hospital. Each visit was at least a week and this occurred many times a year. (Fortunately that is long behind her now)
In my career I have worked in different hospitals in different states with different nurses. But the constant has always been the under staffing. Hitting the floor and immediately putting out fires, no lunch, no breaks and maybe half way through your shift you have a handle on IT. Of course, charting will come at the end of your shift after you have clocked out because you are FORBIDDEN to work overtime. Leaving work, driving home, feeling inadequate, remembering the patient you promised another blanket. And then forgetting that patient because someone began seizing.
So, I have seen both sides of the nursing issue. As the mother of a sick child and as the nurse trying to care for a sick child. My answer was to leave the floor; I went to the OR and I loved it. The most they could give me was ONE case at a time.
For those floor nurses who persevere and continue year after year: Thank you, I could not have done it, it would have destroyed me.
I retired after 28 years, I don’t remember how to plan for Christmas and other holidays because I “had” to work them. I miss the other nurses and meeting the nice patients but don’t miss the management BS
Wow, where do I begin? I’ve been a bedside nurse for 35 years, Hi risk OB, Gyne, L+D, (which is not always a “happy place”). I never wanted to deal with the male harassment, the doctors (only a few) were enough. Now with so many female docs, it’s much different. So many things are different now, but despite all the problems with the health care industry, the computers, the micromanaging of my every decision, the problems with under par coworkers and physicians, scheduling, staffing, need I go on? Despite all that, when I walk in a patient’s room, and say ” Hi, I’m Peggy, I’ll be taking care of you today” nothing else matters and there is no where else on earth I would rather be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all sunshine and bunnies. Just ask my co-workers, I am a prolific venter, And I’ve had some battles, but I pick them. 25 years ago, I was having some personal problems. I saw a psychologist who recommended “Codependant No More” and “The Pleasers” for me to read and turned my thinking right around. You see, all areas of our life drip into one another in ways we don’t realize. He told me he saw a lot of nurses. Nurses, and others as well, who feel like victims and martyrs, do not feel in control of their lives. When you realize that the only one you can control is yourself then you understand that the only one who can change your life is you. Sounds simple? I wish. It’s a lifelong process and it involves taking time for yourself, learning to say no, and understanding the bigger picture. Understanding a concept and practicing a concept are not the same thing. Leave nursing? NO WAY. I breathe it, my heart beats to it. But you do have to change something, and whatever that is, you must consider, “What is best for me?” It may sound trite, but if you are not good to yourself, you won’t be good to anyone else. We are always learning, always growing, most of all we are always human and experiencing the human connection through nursing is hard to explain to non-nurses. But, when ever one person is seen caring for another person in any way, they are nursing them, we just take it to a higher level through our education, experience and advocacy. It’s nice to be thanked and appreciated, but I don’t need it to know what I do is invaluable, I just know it, and it my pleasure to provide the care I do. Now, let me tell you about that patient who had me tearing my hair out by the end of my shift last week, and how I have just HAD IT with that doctor who will not communicate, and the stupid decision management just made…
I, too have been a Critical Care RN for 22 yrs.You hit the nail on the head.I have worked with lazy nurses,who can’t hear the IV pump beeping,the call bell ringing and one even closed the door on a pt. who was yelling for a drink of water,because she had a stroke and she would have to take extra time to give her a drink.Now every pts. family knows more than you do,because of the internet,the MD’s don’t want you to ques. their wrong orders,(laxatives to a C’Diff pt) was called a smart A** for wanting to know was this some kind of new treatment I was unaware of. Managers who when you bring up incompentent nurses,tell you to “don’t run off the staff”…Hello!!! I’m trying to save you from a lawsuit!! I too,have wished for a car accident just to get some rest,cried and prayed for my pts. all the way home from work,tried bargaining with God to heal them,relieve their pain, just let them urinate,ect..But I love being a nurse..I had a pt. tell me she had prayed for a nurse that could understand her,and there I was.(I actually had gotten floated to that floor that night) I have witnessed a lot of God’s Miracles,and am constantly at awe at what some families will do to try to keep someone alive when they had left their body days ago. I love Nursing with every fiber of my being..but it is nice to dream of retiring on day..(I’ll probably drop dead first) But thanks again for a shoulder to cry,vent on..You go girl!!
Amen. This is true not just of nurses but anyone like Respiratory or dialysis, some docs or anyone else that finds themselves bedside. To this day I laugh and think wus when I hear someone bitch about having to work a couple of hours on Saturday because I remember an entire year at college I worked 12’s which often turned to 13’s with report never mind an hour and a half commute. Hell i remember one boss who actually came to the hospital room i had been admitted to after collapsing on the floor of the er comming in on Christmas Eve because one thing this blogger left out is that one in health care does not let me repeat does not call in sick if youre scheduled to work a holiday. Also i dont know many jobs that one leaves a packed bag at work in their locker in case youre on shift when a blizzard or ice storm hit and failure to do so can result in you rinsing your skivies in the sink or going commando when the roads get too bad for your relief to make it.. or where the National Guard or Police Department will come to pick you up and take you to work because youre considered essential personnel. I have a friend whose a dedicated family man whose also a doctor. He has an RV, a small aircraft and takes cool family trips whenever he can..he’s a good father. One of my Monday thru Friday friends ( what I call my non-healthcare friends lol) messaged me one day.. gosh that “Mike” guy has a hell of a hard life (names have been changed to protect the guilty lol). what could he possibly have to complain about. Hmm I don’t know the birthdays or dinners interupted or missed all together. Or the weeks on call with a full day of rounding and seeing patients in the office as well as operating to be called out at 320 in the morning so that even some minor call results in you getting no more sleep for the night. Don’t get me wrong.. I think I speak for at least the folks on my list including myself that chose this life. We do or did it because we loved it and loved helping people. Just keep in mind the next time you’re in the hospital and your caregiver acts like they are sad or upset they might be missing that one performance play or the championship game. ID also like to encourage you to call your local hospitals to inquire what normal nurse to patient ratios are.. you might just be surprised how many patients some suit in an office with no clue thinks your nurse or rt can take care of while they are taking care of you.
Become nurse practictioners…they don’t do anything.
I’m married to a medical professional and my advice to anyone who plans on marriage and having kids is don’t date a paramedic, firefighter, nurse, or doctor. If you already are then think long and hard about the kind of marriage and family life you want to have. You and your family will never be as important as their career, at least that’s how it feels a lot of times. If you already have a family and switch to one of these careers you will sacrifice your marriage and family so don’t think you’re the one person who’s marriage or family life won’t be negatively affected either. Being the spouse of someone who made that sacrifice I can tell you it’s absolutely not worth it, I don’t care how much they love the job either because you and your kids will grow to hate it. If you work a traditional 8-5 you’ll spend a lot of your time on your own because their hours are all screwed up so you might as well stay single or find someone who works your schedule because you won’t get much quality time anyway. You’ll be the parent who’s spouse rarely comes with you to school musicals, sporting events, etc because they’re working or too tired from working all night. Kids will just have to understand their mom or dad doesn’t have a normal job and that’s how it is so get over it. Your life and schedule will revolve around their hours and sleep schedule so planning anything is a pain, sounds good right? I know several people in these fields and the general feeling I get is that their job is more important than a traditional 8-5 job even if it pays quite a bit less because they save lives. Makes perfect sense, especially when it’s time to pay bills and take care of the family you have. God bless those of you who do these jobs but please don’t expect the rest of us to understand the sacrifices you make because to us no job is worth that much personal sacrifice. Especially when it’s our marriage and family life that are hit the hardest as a result. The divorce rate is sky high in these professions for a reason.
Well written. I find it interesting that those in nursing write positive responses and those looking in form the outside have either negative or neutral responses. The is a nursing blog not a public service blog. Unless you walk in some ones shoes one cannot relate to the issues. As I always say, “In what job are you never allowed to make a mistake or you could kill someone?”
This is not to be taken as an attack on BILL, or to say I don’t like my job, but here goes…. I am about to UNLOAD, and all in fun, so no hate mail please, because NURSES are a RARE BREED!!!!! WE ROCK!!! But here goes…..I would like to day that BILL HAS NO CLUE! Sorry, but unless you have been a nurse on the floor, asking…NO BEGGING FOR HELP, and there is NO HELP, then you don’t know what it’s like. Changing your shoes after 12 hours of pure agony…I REPEAT AGONY, aint no shoe changing gone cut it….because your feet feel like they will fall off!!!! It’s backbreaking torture, not to mention mind boggling decisions to make on the fly to save or care for a patient, unappreciated by those above you, and ask for help and get a smart remark or increased work load, and ask for time off, that is like a sin, but when you can, need, or desire to work they send you home …. oh Bill, you are so clueless to the nursing world. I have been a dish washer, cashier, worked in fast food, secretary, in the trucking industry, baby sat, cleaned houses, and NOTHING is even close to the unfair world of floor nursing, tending to 4, 5, or 6 SICK PATIENTS….. and the shows on tv are a JOKE…. the patients puke, urinate, poop, all over their bed, sheets, floors, even all over the nurses, and look for enough help, you won’t find it….they are at home on call…. and some patients weigh 300 to 600 lbs, and cannot help you roll themselves over – so yes, nursing is the one job that every body needs to try for a year to get a real feel of the misery it causes a nurse. And just think about them PEG TUBE FEEDINGS, and them COLOSTOMY BAGS, etc, that all need proper care as well during this 12 hour shift. Not to mention all the dressing changes, and HOLDING YOUR BLADDER and NEVER GETTING TO TAKE A BREAK….and oh yeah THIS HAPPENS…. Plus you not only have to weight hand and foot on the sick patients, but you also have to be a waitress for all the family members, carry them coffee, fluff their pillows, answer their 1000 and 1 questions that they should have asked the DOCTOR who just walked out of the room…..oh yeah, and get them a guest tray to eat free but do not ask them to help tend to THEIR OWN FAMILY, because that is the NURSES JOB….please BILL, give me a break! Report you are hurt, and try getting another job somewhere with that in the record. Runnnnnn answer that call light before that elderly person who is not in their right minds falls in the floor and beaks a hip, but at the same time, give out 17 PRN medications in less that half a shift, while changing adult diapers, and LORD HELP IS THERE IS A CODE & SOMEBODY IS ABOUT TO DIE…… and everybody is in one room to save a life, while all these call lights, and bed alarms go off, and ALL OF THEM HAVE TO BE ANSWERED TOO!!!!! Yep…. get a clue Bill! GET A CLUE! But hey, NURSES are the BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!! We sure are!!!!!!!! We can wipe up crap off a nasty behind and grab a Herseys Kiss and cram it on the fly because we aint got time to take a real break. And mind you we don’t get an hour bubba…..NOPE! 30 minutes, and that is all, if you are lucky!!!!!!!! But that is not all….. you have to CHECK CHARTS, TAKE OFF DOCTORS ORDERS and yeah….. Go get you a nursing degree…… work on the floor and YOU WILL SEE! Nothing else out there like it that I have ever encountered! The stress level is THROUGH THE ROOF! You go and Go and GO till you almost pass out yourself….then go home and pretend you’re just find and dandy…… but yet your whole body is in agonizing pain, and you feel like you want to throw up, and the dishes are piled high, the laundry is too, and everybody wants to know what is to eat………..!!!!!!!!! Oh Bill!!!!!!! Get a clue! DUDE! Really!
Oh my goodness! You must work on my floor because this is every day! If only people will understand
It’s so refreshing to hear that I’m not alone. In 15 years I’ve earned a bad back and neck, endless family events I’ve missed, and times where I can’t imagine working another day. I too have felt the same as the girl in this article. I envision quitting my job often. Health care is a business just like anything else, it’s all about money. The only thing that gets me through is hoping I’m making a difference for my patients. Unfortunately I’ve complained so much my son said he would never marry or date a nurse and my younger daughter said I should quit and babysit so I can be home more:( The military would be worse I know, but unless you are in this field or married to someone in this field, you will never know the sacrifice health care workers make and how hard we work. I was thinking of continuing my education in health care, but I think I may veer into a totally different field. My favorite is when people say how lucky we are to work in a field where there are lots of jobs. There is obviously a reason for this, it’s a calling and so not for everyone!
For those of you who aren’t Nurses or in healthcare, please read this to the end especially about short staffing and healthcare rationing. This is so true. As an EMT for 8 years then an RN for 25 years working days, nights, weekends, and sometimes what seemed like every holiday, I feel like I have paid the dues of two lifetimes already. This woman verbalizes so well what the other side of nursing is like.
Dearest ‘Bill’, the union rep. Please receive the next 3 weeks old infant used as a baseball bat against the wall from the paramedic who is about to lose his mind and attempt to resuscitate. Then we’ll talk about how other professions compare to nursing. 30 years of ER nursing beg to differ with your opinion of my career. And with your omnipotent wisdom, please, feel free to start a union that actually protects nurses from profit seeking employers.
This also completely applies to doctors.. i know I was a doctor ignoring my drop attacks from 3rd degree heart block and only stopped working after a brain injury from a respiratory arrest forced me to stop. However with all the awful shifts and thankless jobs there are very few jobs as rewarding as health care… your patients do appreciate the kindnesses and the way you change thier lives every single day.You make a difference… You did the right thing helping that mom to get to her game.. and you are a happier person because of it…plus you made the world a better place to live in . Rejoice!!! Thank God for your blessings.
Felt you were dead on about your post. Some people outside the field don’t understand our profession. I really thought I was the only one who dreaded going to work sometimes! I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Eloquently stated. Thank you for the objectivity and clarity on what every nurse endures. You should run for governor!
At the end of the shift sometimes all we (people that I work with) can think to say is that “nobody died”… Inappropriate, yes… But it’s hard for people who don’t work in healthcare to understand that a simple teeny tiny mistake that I have made could change someone’s life in an instant… Just the thought processes required in a “12” hour shift are exhausting and then added to the physical and emotional. It’s easiest to complain about how much my feet hurt because it’s a universal pain and at least people can understand that….
Sorry… I could ramble a river…
I’m an RN..and the things said in this article is the reason I’m going back to school to get my business degree
I see lawyers around me who work 6 12 hour shifts nearly every week. They get paid only about 10k more than you (assuming you make an average nurse’s salary).
What your post lacks is gratitude for 4 days off a week, job stability, great benefits, and a great salary. I don’t doubt your job is extremely difficult, because it is. At the same time, it’s within your control to change your circumstances of you’re not happy. Get a new job as an l&d nurse if working where you are is too difficult. There are unemployed nurses out there who would love to have your job.
I too am a RN and worked psychiatric for 7 years before leaving nursing. I never want to go back! I keep my license current just in case I ever need it, but truthfully I would rather do just about any other job. I absolutely loved some of the jobs that I had, but the longer I stayed in it the worse it got. I worked 16 hour shifts with demanding mentally ill patients. The staffing was being cut right before I left. We were already down to 2-3 nurses for up to 27 patients. You work your tail off, and upper management never seems to appreciate you. They just keep making more and more demands that are physically impossible.
I am not a nurse, but a pharmacist in an institutional (psychiatric) setting. Over the course of my 30+ year career, it has been my honor to get to know a number of really good, caring nurses and I have the utmost respect for them and what they do. Nothing is more important in direct patient care than a good nurse, in my humble opinion.
I have a number of friends away from work that are nurses, as well as family members, so I have heard a lot of this over the years along with what I have witnessed.
With that said, I would like to say that as a group, nurses do get handed a lot of bad breaks that they are expected to just “get over” like lousy shifts, little/no break time, rushed meals, etc., etc,. etc. We as pharmacists have a lot of the same issues and all you can do is find your own way to deal with those issues. Is it fair? Is is right? Is it the way it should be? NO. However, it is what it is and is a part of the profession as it is currently being practiced here.
Budget cuts, the ever popular “do more with less” (I am about to need an emesis basin as I type these words), staffing shortages, ad nauseum are all a part of our daily reality in both professions along with many others.
I have been a long term care nurse for 5 years and can relate to everything said. Our managers seem to focus more on the medication pass than the amount of time spent at bedside. I will be the first to admit that I focus more on the patient than on the meds. I am proud to say that I am a damn good nurse and have received exceptional feedback from coworkers, patients and family members. It doesn’t mean that there are some days when you get to work that you want to turn around and walk right out the door. When the 3 patients that sun-down start sun-downing earlier and your patience is already stretched to the max, half of the CNA’s are arguing over cares and never seem to act like adults , there’s a call in on the next shift that is your responsibility to cover along with your regular duties and then find out that you’re getting an admission… and you see that wet floor sign next to the sopping wet floor and you think: If I fall, will they make me come in on modified duty or can I lay on the couch for a couple days???
Having good coworkers does help cover on the weekends when there are things going on at home, switching weekends, coming in early staying late, been there a thousand times. Teamwork is a wonderful thing!
That’s exactly what I did 6 months ago. GOT OUT! I was sick of the politics of work and the favoritism. If you had connection with the higher ups, you got everything you wanted whether you were qualified or not. I got tired of hearing younger nurses say “that’s not my patient and refuse to help”. I now work as a secretary for a realtor, pay is 1/3 of what I made as an RN but it is so much better for my sanity! So was it with getting out YES
I know many, many nurses. I count them among my best friends. And I have heard, at one time or another, from each and every one of them, “Today, I just can’t do it.” Hats off to you for putting it out there like this.
We’ll said and Thanks! Just finished working Christmas Eve day and Christmas Day 12hr shifts, (no holiday time or OT) then drove home 4 hrs away Christmas night. My family is gratefully supportive. I was a Paramedic 10yrs and graduated RN school in 2005 hoping for more money & respect. I’m a traveling Pediatric Vent Home RN. I will never work in a hospital, I will never work on a floor or “put in my time” as I am constantly reminded that I didn’t do. I have much respect and my hats off to ALL nurses working in a hospital! My lost benefits of health ins, regular hours, workmanship comp, sick/vaca time..etc are definitely made up with me by being able to control my schedule and patient load most of the time. I cried when I saw you write about driving home & I don’t think there’s a shift I get off where all the same things don’t run thru my mind. My patients are babies with trachs and GTT’s and grieving and hopeful families. People ask me why I stay In Nursing all the time when I vent or complain & I’ve considered everything from hairdresser to Skydive Instructor. However, I do feel a fulfillment, pride and peace most often than not. Recently found out I have a bulging c4-c5 with Spinal Stenosis and I’m scared to tell any of my Agencies. I love the support we give to each other in this field, may it continue and thanks for sharing….Happy New Year!
Thanks for the post,I work in the Er 7p-7a. We see so many people who should be seeing a dr in his office. We are no longer an Emergency room, we are a clinic that has a staff prepared for anything. I think the worst part of the job is how patient complain about their care,it is not all of the time, but when someone comes in for the hundredth time for the back pain that doesn’t go away unless they get narcotics and then complains because we are not super supportive it gets old! I love my job but am only human have the same life situations as some of the patients but I think they expect us to just be there without any of our own problems! Believe me we understand about pain illness and loss! Give us a break grant it we signed on for these jobs but nurses deserve some compassion too!
Nurses also get long breaks when u work 3 days a week and sometimes get 3 or 4 days off during the week..Days during the week when M to F people hardly get a week day off to run errands or go to a doctors appointment..Also many hospitals give time and a half pay with holidays you work..One surgical hospital I worked at the nurses would squabble over the holidays, saying that certain nurses always signed up for them and other nurses wanted the opportunity to make holiday pay as well..The reason I say this is that I worked the floor for 10 years and there were a lot of positives to the schedule as well..You did not mention any of those.
I really appreciated your honesty. It’s refreshing to see people lay it all out. I am actually going into nursing school this upcoming year. I’m scared but very excited.
That being said, making your blog public you have to expect some negative comments. Don’t worry about them. You know in your heart who you are and where you belong. Stay strong 🙂
You hit the nail RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!!!!! Don’t apologize for speaking the truth! I’m a night nurse who just survived the holidays where I had to choose sleep over family/kids because of my job, the guilt is immeasurable. I care for 6-12 extremely acute patients nightly due to lack of staff. I do 5+ people’s jobs at night: nurse, tech(we never have one anymore), secretary, phlebotomy, IV team, and sometimes provider but only get paid for one. And while I work 5 8hr days which sometimes I feel are even worse than the 12’s as most days I am unable to sleep upon arriving home, I too have terrible wishes of hitting that patch of ice on the way to work so that I have an adequate enough reason(based in employer expectation) to not go to work. I was punched in the head twice last week by a patient for just trying to keep them from urinating on the blanket that their wife knitted for them, and have been bit and scratched more times than I can remember. Yet, I still get there, each night and provide the best level of care I can with all the passion and love I can muster. One day I hope my daughters will understand the sacrafices they and their mom have had to endure, I hope I hope
wow thanks so much for this…..I would love to hear more. We do work hard and it’s our passion, but our families do suffer too. I am selfish I guess because I love it, even though a car accident would be nice sometimes just to get a break. I have thought of that. lol, It’s hard, and others don’t understand that. Thanks for your insight.