The Effects of Nursing on Nurses
Hi, welcome to my blog post. I have never had a blog post get more than 50 comments, so I am a bit overwhelmed. After responding to many comments, here is a note:
Note: I wrote this blog entry at the end of my 3rd 12 hour shift in three days. I was tired and I was emotional. It is a blog post, not an “article.” It is not researched or sourced, it is purely opinion.
The point of this post is that nurses (and many other professions) need to take the time to practice self care and to encourage one another to practice self care.
My biggest mistake in this post (and there are many) was to use “her” or “she” when I should have used “they” or them.” I ignored my male coworkers, and I should not have. You have my apologies, and I have corrected the post. I have left “she” and “her” in place in the portion where I talk about my coworker.
I have read every comment posted and deleted some very nasty comments that were not helpful to conversation. If you feel this is the place to spew your vitriol, it is not.
August 11, 2013
This morning, while I was giving report to the day shift nurse taking over my patients, she burst into tears.
She’s going to miss her children’s hockey play offs due to our strictly enforced every other weekend schedules. You work every other weekend, no more, no less, unless you are going to college (I work every weekend because I’m in college). She’s their hockey coach, and inevitably, each year, their last game falls on a day their mother has to work. I’ve come in early for her before.
So I offered to come in on my night off for an hour and a half so she could get to the game. I’m coming in that early because I know she won’t be done charting.
She turned me down until another day RN got involved. I reminded my coworker I only live a mile from the hospital, and it really wasn’t a big sacrifice for me. She finally agreed, and calmed down. We got permission from the charge nurse.
Nursing is one of the largest professions in the world. If you don’t know a nurse, I’m really surprised. Nurses talk a lot about the rewards of nursing. Catching that vital sign, saving lives, providing comfort, but nurses, by nature, are taught to martyr themselves on the altar of nursing.
When I was a new grad, I hated coming to work so much that I would wish I’d get hit by a car on my way to work just to get out of work. One night, while checking medication sheets, I confessed this to some experienced nurses and found out some of them still felt the same way.
In nursing, it is NORMAL to have days where you wake up and just can’t mentally and emotionally face the day at work. I swear, the only other people who can understand this are nurses.
Nursing is emotionally, physically and mentally taxing, and some days you run too low on what you can give emotionally, physically and mentally. That minor back injury you don’t want to report to HR because you don’t want it on your record. Having a patient with constant diarrhea who can’t get out of bed and needs to be physically rolled and cleaned several times an hour. The cold you got from the two-year old someone brought in. The sorrow that comes from supporting someone who has just found out they were dying, holding in your own tears so you could wipe theirs. In one day, all of those patients could be yours.
I don’t know a nurse who hasn’t taken a mental health day. Some do it by requesting more vacation than others. Some do it by calling in sick, but it’s all time off because we are too drained to give anymore.
So if you know a nurse, and that nurse mentions to you that they feel like calling in because they just can’t take it another day, don’t give them a hard time. Especially if you have an 8-5 job with weekends off or some other really great schedule. The 12 hour shifts nurses work mean we miss the entire holiday we work with our families. Night shift nurses have to choose between holiday dinners or sleep. Often, if a nurse chooses to sleep rather than go to the holiday dinner, guilt ensues. Even though I’ve told my mother-in-law repeatedly that every nurse has to work holidays, she makes a point to say how horrible it is my husband has to be alone for a few hours. What about me? Working my ass off while everyone else celebrates?
We work hard. We are intentionally understaffed by our hospitals to improve profit, even if the hospital is a non-profit. We help people at the worst times of their lives, and often have no way to debrief, to get it off our chests. We don’t just bring warm blankets and pills. We are college educated, degreed professionals who are often treated like uneducated, lazy servants. We get sexually harassed by our patients. We get groped, punched, cut, I even know of a nurse on my floor being strangled (she survived).
Nursing can be rewarding. But nursing is a fucking hard job. If you are afraid of healthcare rationing, you should know it is already happening. Nurses are unable to give everyone the care they need, so patients with smaller problems may not get the same level of care. A nurse may be pressed to only give the minimum amount of care to a patient if they have 5 or more very sick patients. If you don’t want healthcare rationing, talk to your local hospitals about their nurse to patient ratios. Talk to your doctors. If you hear of legislation to support nurse to patient ratios, vote for it. Support it.
So if a nurse needs a day off, you support them. If you’re in a position to help like I was this morning, do so. If you are a nurse, go easier on yourself when you think about the things you didn’t finish, or the things you should have said. It’s a 24-hour a day job and you don’t have to do it alone.
As of January 27, 2014, this post is no longer accepting comments. I am doing this as a practice of self care. Tending to this blog post, several times a day, has become a burden. It has had over 2 million hits, and I am tired. The post has become a platform for people who want to propel their own agendas and are using my space to do so. Thanks to all who said such nice things, and to everyone else, go write your own blog.
Posted on August 11, 2013, in Nursing and tagged Health care, Nursing, registered nurse. Bookmark the permalink. 2,612 Comments.
ofcourseitsaboutyou 
I know tons of nurses that feel the same. I have been a CNA for 22 years. I have worked for Hospice 8 year’s .. I enjoy taking care of others and at times bring home my work. I am now a stay at home caregiver for my 82year old mother n law…( @ times its depressing and emotional ).
I am the daughter of a nurse. My mother has been nursing for 34 years and it is obvious tl me that it is not anjkb .tk her…..it is her calling. She was created to be a nurse. I have shared her on holidays, missed her at school concerts and plays, tiptoed around my childhood home in silence while my night shift nurse mother slept. I am so proud of her and I didn’t realize until I was grown with my one family just how selfless and special she is. Thank you nurses….this lady loves you!!!
I have been an LPN for 23 years. I have been through almost everything this article tells about. I love nursing, but t is a very stressful job. There is to much paper/ computer work and not enough time to spend with patients. I have worked in hospitals nursing homes, home care and in Mentally Handicapped facilities. While each of these places are different, they are the same in the fact that you don’t get enough time with the actual patient. State board, Medicaid, Medicare, and even bosses are more concerned with how it looks on paper than the kind of care the patient is getting. I have called in before to take a stress day more than once because I felt like that I needed a break and that I couldn’t be the nurse I needed to be that day. Nurses have the very life of their patients in their hands, if we mess up, it could mean life or death or causing another illness, so I recommend if you feel like you are just so stressed take a day or two off to regroup. Not saying this to make any one feel sorry for me because there are people far worse off than me. In 2012 on July 9th I was diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma lung cancer and was unable to work, I went through Chemo. treatments and I am now in remission. I am hoping to go back to work in 2014. I am sure I will have days that I have to take that stress break day off. I really respect nurses and the things we go through and if you are not a nurse then you have no idea of what we go through within an hour or a shift at work. True nurses care, we care when our patients hurt and we try to give the them their pain med, in a timely manner,(that is not always possible when you have 35 patients and there is only one you).We care when our patients need something and we care when our patients just need someone to talk to. The paper work is important but it can wait take time to listen and do your best to take care of the most important part of your job which is our patients. I pray that every nurse be a caring nurse and if they don’t care that they go find another profession. I pray that some how the nurse patient ratio be what it needs t be in order for us to take care of our patients the way they deserve to be taken care of. I pray that nurses everywhere will remember we are not super human, we are just human and we can only do so much. when you leave your post at work leave it there, go home take care of your family and yourself and rest your mind and body. I wish all nurses, CNAs, Doctors and other medical personal a very Happy New Year and much success, heath( both mental and physical) and that you will feel that reward from knowing you did the best you could forthose in your care. One day at a time is all we can handle, so make the best of it. NURSES ROCK!!
M. McCarty, LPN
Thank God for nurses! It is such a hard job, but there are moments that shine through and we know, as nurses, we help make the world a better place. ♡
I have a daughter who is a Pediatrice ICU Nurse she is Heart Sertivied and now she is in the OB ward in case of some big issue
She doesn’t talk much about her day but once she told me “Mom we lost a baby today and I sat in my car and cried profusely no ones fault wasnt even my patient.
So I just wanted to say. You picked your choice of your carrer now be a true Nurse and just suck it up
Be a true nurse and suck it up? Really?
When your in the hospital do you really want a nurse who just sucks it up to take care of you. She is trying to remind us to take care if ourselves. Only nurses understand nurses. I’m sure your daughter has had some if the same feelings. Sorry sucking it up does not make a safe nurse.
Rude to say just suck it up what do you do? And spell check, use it. #ignoranus
Connie, please learn to spell. It was painful reading your comment. Are you just bitter because you could not pass a test in order to become a nurse, seeing as how you can barely spell? This is her blog, you chose to read her opinions, just suck it up and don’t leave hateful comments.
Sucking it up does make you a true nurse!
That’s pretty heartless. Hope your daughter has someone she can actually vent too, because its obviously not you.
Oh Connie so naive. “Suck it up” that is so easy to say when you are not in someone else’s shoes. It’s obvious your daughter doesn’t share her nursing life with you. Cause if she did you would understand better. Did you tell her to “suck it up” when she told you the story of the baby dying. This is a unique career that is changing everyday with new laws, technology, and requirements. So excuse us if we are reminding each to take care of ourselves. The future depends on nurses because there will be a shortage and nobody wants the “suck it up” nurses to take care of them.
She is a nurse most likely because she has compassion. Without compassion for others what would our profession be? I can’t count the number of tears I’ve cried for my patients…
Just suck it up? Are you kidding me? So you’re telling us to not have true human emotions when someone passes away? That’s like saying oh your neighbor just died of cancer or the kid next door got hit by a bus but get over it and move on. That’s incredibly insensitive.
God put us here on earth to love others. It’s okay and perfectly acceptable to be hurt and feel these emotions when someone passes away. Should we sit in the emotion and not move forward? Of course not. That would cause us further issues.
Until someone works in the hospital they truly do not understand what nurses are put through. A good friend told me, “It truly takes a different breed of people to be nurses”. This article is incredibly real and something that happens often in the hospital. Thanks for sharing your story OP.
Its CERTIFIED and you are rude…go somewhere else.
Nurses, “suck it up” everyday!
God I’m glad you’re not my mom. Of course my mom is a speech pathologist & deals with some of the same patients I do. She would have invited me over for drinks handed me a kleenex. She would have understood that we do this job because we love it & by definition we’re empathetic people so we have to work thru all the pain we share with our patients and their families. Bad mom. Grow a heart and try again. Your Dgter needed a sympathetic shoulder & some help shaking it off so she can do it again tomorrow.
“Be a true nurse and suck it up.”???
Is this what you say to your daughter when she needs to vent? Is this the caring and compassionate example you set?
“Just suck it up”?? Really lady? Wow, no wonder your daughter sat in the car and cried, she doesn’t have a compassionate mother to listen to her express her heartache. I’m sure you have NEVER complained about how difficult being a mother can be. I have been a pediatric emergency room nurse for 27 years. It is tiring, scary, exhilarating and exhaustive. ..but I love it. Sometimes more on some days than others. Nurses care for patients, and the patients families, and are at time treated like crap. I don’t care what job you have, but that should not happen. I also teach nursing school, and I want students who have a passion for this career, not just a job. Which nurse would you rather have wiping your butt or giving you life saving care when you are sick? If you get the “Just a job” nurse…suck it up.
How dare you say to be “a true nurse and suck it up.” Just because your daughter’s a nurse it doesn’t make you an authority on what “true” nursing is. My mother has worked as a floor nurse, ER nurse, and as a CVICU nurse. I have also worked as a tech at one of the hospitals she has and watched her bust her ass on the floor with ridiculous ratios. No offense, but ICU has lower ratios and pediatric hospitals have some of the best working situations. If you’re daughter worked country in South Texas where the ratio can climb to 9 patients per nurse, most of them amputees with diabetes or pushing over 300 lbs, you would be singing a different tune. The fact of the matter is that you’re not a health care professional (obviously because you can’t spell) and chances are that if your daughter heard your comment she would be both horrified and embarrassed. I suppose with your mentality that teachers should suck it up too. In the health field (should be all individuals) we believe in empathy. Try it. Its what you are lacking.
Suck it up?!? Have you lost your mind?!? Yes we chose our career- but we are nurses because we are compassionate people! Apparently you need to educate yourself on that word. I hope to God you never need nursing care by someone that followed your shitty advice! People like you are the Reason we lose our minds in nursing. You and your self riotous attitudes!
Connie, please learn how to spell. It was so painful reading your post. Are you just mad that you couldn’t pass a test to become a nurse? It would be understandable, if your spelling is any reflection on you. I’m pretty sure your ‘pediatrice ICU nurse heart sertivied’ daughter would be appalled and embarrassed by your comment. You decided to read this blog, just suck it up & stop posting hateful and unnecessary comments (Oh, and learn to spell).
Really? “Just suck it up”? Clearly you lack the compassion it takes to be a nurse. I hope your daughter has someone more understanding to confide in. I don’t know what I would do without my husband’s patient listening ear. What the blogger said is true. She was tired and frustrated and needed to vent as we all do at times. May God bless you and I hope you got to spend Christmas with your family.
Just suck it up?? Way to show support for what your daughter does and goes through at work. You probably couldn’t handle a single shift. I am a nurse my self and take offense to that. You, miss, are an asshole.
Really… Is that what you would say to the police officers wife who just got shot and killed. Suck it up it is what he chose to do for a career. Or to the parents of a soldier who was gravely wounded. It is true we do choose our career path and thank god your daughter chose to be a nurse not you.
@connie wow negative much? Suck it up? What a negative thing to say. You’re part of the reason the nurse patient ratio “sucks”!
Don’t think you are the one who should define true nurse.
And to add ( cause I’m human and have a heart) sorry your daughter had that experience. As a nurse I can relate to her experience and the experience of the amazing blogger noted above.
This comment is written by someone who is obviously is not a nurse and the blog was not written for you. As a full time nurse, I find your comments lack empathy and understand why your child does not talk to you about her profession. The writer of the blog is not complaining and even though we “chose this career” does not mean that it doesn’t take it’s toll on our souls, bodies and relationships.
How truly sad that your daughter can’t get support from you. No wonder she doesn’t talk about her work much. Do you realize how much you could help her by just listening and allowing her to cry or share? With no outlet, she will suffer and she will reach a breaking point or find another coping method that eats away at her. Please, reconsider your method of telling her and every other nurse to just “suck it up”. A “true nurse” still has empathy in their heart and is still effected by what happens around them. You want her and us to be robots and it’s not possible. So good nurses will continue to leave the profession and then the same people telling us to suck it up will complain that there aren’t enough nurses to take care of them.
You’re not very nice to say that. So if you start reading nasty replys, suck it up and stop posting on this blog! We don’t need negativity here.
“Suck it up” spoken like a true non-RN. Very true that it’s a chosen profession but in school you are under the impression that you actually preform patient care and that you advocate for patients. The reality is that your job is 85% charting and that your hospital keeps your floor so understaffed that daily you fear for your license and patient care is almost non existent especially if the patient is doing well. While the administration enjoys fat bonuses nurses get screamed at for taking so long etc. Patients have no idea how dangerous high nurse to patient ratios are and how hospitals don’t care they just care about money.
Nasty woman, I’m glad you’re not a nurse. Your empathy sucks. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you make such rude comments. We are not just nurses, we are humans too, and like any human we have good days as well as bad. Sometimes a good rant helps relieve the stress of a thankless job.
You don’t even deserve to have such a brave daughter. Maybe if you supported her instead of saying suck it up, she would be able to cope a little better.
You should be proud of your daughter. She actually cares about her job and patients. Some nurses dont. Have sympathy for your daughter shes working her calling, not just some job. Its a career that few and far between can actually do well with a full heart. True nurses dony suck it up, true nurses give their whole heart to this career and the families they affect. Several times I come home and think oh, I didnt do this or that, yet I still got off work two hrs after my shift ended. It truely is the hardest job ive ever loved!
Suck it up? How was your thanksgiving and Christmas? Did you spend it sitting by the fire with a nice cup of hot cocoa? Any hot New Years plans? Are you going to watch some fireworks or the ball drop? How many hands have you held while you watched a patient die? How many ribs have you broken whole doing chest compressions? How many people have you told their family just died? Do you get to pee more than once a day? Eat dinner with your family every night? Sit more than once in 12 hours? Yeah I thought so….
“be a true nurse and just suck it up”
Real classy. Heartless B.
Connie, what an unfortunate response. Of course, it’s so riddled with grammatical and spelling errors that it’s entirely possible that I misread your intention.
Ur spelling sucks and your comments sucks worse. Suck it up? Let me guess, you are unemployed?
What a terrible, heartless comment. I certainly hope you didn’t tell your daughter to suck it up.
Glad she has such A supportive mother. Wow get some feelings
You have a cold heart Connie Hahn.
Connie, yes, people picked this career; however, no one really knows how a career will truly be until they start working. Not even nursing clinicals shows the true nature of nursing. Most spend 2 to 4 years of college and a large amount of money on becoming a nurse and many are unable to just snap their fingers and change careers so easily. So I just wanted to say, first of all, I hope that you are more supportive of your daughter when she is having a hard time and hope you will have a little more empathy with her work situations. And second, please do not tell other nurses to suck it up if you truly don’t understand their situations and the nature of the job.
You’re an asshole. Your daughter should be ashamed of you posting such bullshit to this obviously hard working nurse.
How cold hearted are you. This nurse is just getting a load off so she can go back to doing the job. Yes we chose that career and its our hearts that keep us doing it despite being under pressure without the correct support in place. We chose to nurse but are unable to do that at times due to cuts and under staffing. No one agreed to do the job of 2 or 3 people when choosing that profession. Its only the professionalism and dedication that the nurse manages to do most of the work.
Suck that up!
We all handle our issues differently. Keeping a blog or journal to vent is actually a healthy way to keep your sanity in this profession. Even your daughter has these days I’m sure. don’t think this woman needs to “suck it up”. It sounds like she already has.
You are a fucking asshole. It is ignorant people like you that don’t deserve to be treated in a hospital with good nurses. People like you make nursing terrible. Ignorant people like you make the nurse or nurse aide the servant and don’t give a shit because you are too stupid to realize how hard it is. I’m an ICU nurse and I watch people die every other week and I comfort their families after we have done all we can and watch them suffer. You have no idea how hard nursing is and to say suck it up just how’s how god damned ignorant you are. Why don’t you do the world a favor, pull your head out of your ass and shut up.
Is this really necessary, to tell her to “suck it up”? All this post is about is telling nurses to take care of themselves and to educate their friends or family members about a little of what they do so they can be more sensitive to the nurse’s emotional needs. Nowhere in this blog did she say we should feel sorry for her or that anyone made her do this. If that is your attitude toward your daughter, than you are exactly the person this blog post is aimed at. Show a little compassion for a group of people who work very hard and are under-appreciated.
Are you serious with this post?? First of all, learn how to spell. CERTIFIED is the word I believe you butchered. “Just suck it up & be a nurse.” You are a self centered, ignorant person & should be ashamed of yourself. I feel bad for your daughter. I hope you need the skills, compassion, & caring of a nurse someday.
Connie,
With all due respect, your comment is blatantly offensive. If that’s how you truly feel about the nurses, LPNs, and nurse aids who make a living out of compassion, then you should do the world a favor and keep your thoughts to yourself- and don’t condemn a brave woman for sharing her heartfelt reflections, whatever they may be. She didn’t force you to read them nor did she ask for your ignorant opinion. As a woman and a nurse, I find you shameful.
One day, you may find yourself in the hospital. When that time comes, I hope you have a nurse who cares about you enough to wipe your bottom several times an hour, talk to you about your feelings, hold your hand while you’re hurting, and advocate for your wants and needs- and then goes home and reflects upon his/her day and how you may have touched them. Then I hope you have the nurse who just “sucks it up” and goes through the motions of work without thinking or feeling. Decide which of the two nurses you would prefer.
In closing, keep in mind that the comments you post on the internet, albeit anonymous, can be hurtful. Perhaps you should take better care with your words. Now, go give your poor daughter a hug, thank her for her hard work, and encourage her to open up about her experiences on the job– it will do both of you a favor.
I wish you could walk in our shoes and see what we go through. We did choose our careers but we did not choose the endless demands and pressure the hospitals place on us. All the cut backs to save money have made it difficult to do our jobs like we use to or provide the care we want to each patient. I feel bad for your daughter, you must of been a mom of tough love who didn’t show support or encouragement.
You must be a part of the uneducated, office dwelling Redford government. Please leave Canada and continue to ruin the United States.
What a selfish thing to say. You are implying that nurses should just suck it up and not talk about a stressful day. I am sure you have bitched about your day many times Connie.
Your daughter would be disgusted if she saw the comment u left on this post! I am a nurse, an ER nurse & Critical Care Transport Nurse. You have no idea what we endure on a daily basis so how dare you tell us to suck it up! No one out there but a true nurse would have the heart, stomach & mental capacity to “suck up” what we deal with every day! You suck it up when you hold the hand of a dying patient that was just fine 3 hours ago & have to break the news to their family Christmas Eve & then embrace them in your arms when they can’t bear the news if loosing their loved one. You suck it up when your elbow deep in shit of a severely septic, c-diff patient that you’re cleaning up multiple times an hour. You suck it up when you scrape up a half dead child on the freeway because their idiot family member decided to drive drunk that day & take the kids for a ride without seat-belts. You suck it up when the paramedics bring you a schizophrenic-bipolar drunk hallucinating, kicking, screaming, punching, spitting, cussing, that takes 5 people to hold & restrain. I don’t know what profession you chose but I’ll tell you this, you have no idea what it means to be a nurse! Your daughter needs an ear to vent to & a soft place to fall after she’s been beaten up @ work. Shame on you for not providing that. This makes me appreciate my mother that much more!
Connie Hahn,
Wow, did you just say suck it up? Youre a real prick, working as a nurse is harder than anyone could imagine. Going through school doesn’t even show you a glimpse of what you’re in for. I hope you don’t become one of my patients someday… I have very little compassion for people like you
Really? Suck it up? Wow. Wait until you are the sick patient…. We’ll make sure your nurse ignores you and tell YOU to suck it up!
You ma’am are an asshole!!
Connie,
Your comment was the first to pop up below this post when I finished reading. It surprised me a little how you instructed the writer to “suck it up,” and to be a “true nurse.” I think it is important to note that the author is not complaining about her role as a nurse, nor is she saying that she wishes she had chosen a different career. Her central point is that nurses face a very demanding schedule, as do many professions, and she seeks to highlight the challenges for her readers, who may or may not be nurses themselves.
True, she speaks of the hardships of nursing, but having occasional stress, fatigue, and sadness does not make her less of a “true nurse.” For instance, you stated above that your own daughter experienced a great deal of stress and sadness over the death of a patient in her unit — but that does not make her any less of a good, accomplished nurse, right?
I think the author and your daughter are probably both wonderful nurses, and the act that they are emotionally affected by their work is simply a reflection of the dedication and heart that they bring to the nursing professsion.
Best wishes to all you other nurses in the new year.
*above should read “the *fact that” — not the “act” that 🙂
Auto correct!
Dear “Connie Hahn”…. I hope you get flooded with angry responses. Number one, since you want to be so aggressive: learn to spell!
Number two: I pity your daughter for having YOU as a mother as you obviously have not one ounce of respect for her job.
Number three: If you had a brain in that head of yours, you would understand that a “true nurse” doesn’t “suck it up” because a “true nurse” has compassion and EMPATHY. They put their whole heart into their job and it IS taxing.
Number four: While I have compassion for my patients, I have none for you. YOU, SWEETHEART, can “suck it up” that you are obviously not intelligent enough to be a nurse and have a respectable job. Have fun with your dead end job for the rest of your life!
THE END!
I realise you have a daughter who is a nurse. I actually read your post. But why don’t you try being a nurse yourself and then tell people to be ‘a true nurse and suck it up’. I bet you’d feel just like the nurse and her colleagues who put this blog up in the first place. I am not a nurse, but a clerk, and I work shift work alongside nurses in the emergency department. I feel just the same as these nurses do, exhausted and suffering from vicarious trauma. So, why don’t you try it first before making a stupid comment like yours. I bet your daughter doesn’t say anything because it gets to her too much, that and they restrict what we can offload at home due to confidentiality rules for the patients!
As an ER nurse that has had to help families through death, I beg that you don’t tell her to “suck it up” after grieving for the loss if a life. Grief is felt by all those living through loss, even the who nurse barely knew them. Once the sense of grieving is no longer felt by us, we become calused to loss, to grief, to death. I promise you, that is not who any of us want to be. Please try to be more supportive of a nurse (and a family member) whom is just trying to work through healthy emotions in an emotional job. I am proud of her for feeling and caring so much, you should be too.
To the person who wrote this response: you are obviously clueless! If you worked anywhere near healthcare you would understand this post completely!
Non healthcare people commit suicide over far less stress than we deal with on a daily basis. We know, we’ve seen them do it hundreds of times!
So if someone needs to vent to blow off their stress, don’t you dare chastise them! They are stronger than you will ever be!
… Seriously?!? We did choose this profession, but that doesn’t change the reality of the stress that we face. As student nurses there was no way we could have known every stressor that we would face as a nurse. In school we have one view of what nursing is going to be like, but reality tends to be a whole lot different. For example: It is extremely stressful when your patient is coding, your shocking them, bagging them and pushing meds. When you finally get them back you better bet there is going to be rapid intubation and central lines placed… Don’t stop there… You better go grab a press or and whatever cardiac med that converted their rhythm. And don’t forget the labs and million other orders the Dr just ordered. And hey while you’re running around, you might want to stick your head in on your other ventilated/sedated/hypotensive/septic patient… But I’m probably just whining over here… I’m sure you could “handle” it just fine without even breaking a sweat!
We are nurses. We have stress. We vent!
Go try our job for a day and then “suck it up” yourself.
What a stupid thing to say!! Im guessing this is the reason your daughter doesnt talk much to you about her day, because she has an unsupportive parent. Way to go!
Thank you for making my decision to quit easier. Why should anyone take care of people when they are cold hearted bitches! Yes I chose my career to help people, but now more than ever I don’t know why. People are aweful, and if they don’t have compassion for nurses, they don’t deserve my compassion!
Wow… That’s pretty harsh.. I see why she doesn’t talk much about her job.
She wasn’t complaining, just being real, And your clearly not a nurse if all you have to say is suck it up. Tell that to your daughter, and see what she had to say!!! We do what we do because we want to, but we are under appreciated, under paid, and overworked, and more people should realise that.
“Just suck it up”??? That’s the compassion for your daughter? It’s never easy to lose a patient, esp a baby. Next time I hope you say something other than “suck it up”. Sorry but being a retired nurse, I just couldn’t accept that comment without commenting.
Good thing your daughter’s educated because obviously you failed a few spelling tests! So YOU SUCK IT UP and go take an English class!
I surely hope “suck it up” wasn’t the advice you gave your daughter. Nursing is a tough job . I am a pediatric oncology nurse and most days I love my job, but I can empathize with this post. Everyone has bad days and just needs to vent sometimes.
Wow. What a horrible thing for you to say. So you believe that because we picked the nursing profession that we should be uncaring robots? I hope that if I lost a child my nurse would cry with me. A nurse that has no emotion on the job is not a very compassionate nurse at all. I would rather see a nurse cry over a loss then brush it off and keep going. Shame on you!
Your comment is sad. I was prepared to write a response, but upon further consideration, will not waste my time doing so.
Really??? So glad you aren’t my mom!! I hate that your daughter came to you for support and you so quickly dismissed her like that! You really need to learn some compassion.
This nasty attitude is part of the problem. We all need to be supportive of each other, and if writing a blog, to vent is what she needs, it’s a healthy way to cope “Sucking it up” can be very dangerous to ones mental and physical health. If you yourself are not a nurse, there is no possible way you could understand and you have no right to tell her to “suck it up.” We deal with people at their very most vulnerable times in their lives, and at their best. From holding a dying patients hand, to crying with their families, to being kicked and punched, from being there to see someone wake up from a coma for the first time, to see life come and go, having very difficult discussions, reminiscing with a parient contemplating and trying to understand their own mortality…I could go on and on…think before you speak.
I am a “true nurse” I will not berate you because that’s not the type of person i am. Sounds like your daughter is also a “true nurse.” I work in the emergency room. it is always hard to lose a patient especially young ones. As nurses we cry we mourn just like everyone else even if it’s not family. Instead of judging your daughter. Give her a hug. She needs one. Nursing is hard and emotional.
What a heartless thing to think or say. Of course unless you’ve bern there of course ypu’d never understand. So until you can empathize with your daughter, I’d suggest not making any comments at all. One thing is, at least this explains why your daughter doesn’t talk with you much about her day.
Your insensitive, and sound idiotic making a statement like that, I’m sure your daughter is embarrassed of you. Until you deal with what she does, do not presume to tell her or any other nurse to “suck it up”. I would be interested to know what you do for a living.
You sound and read uneducated and ignorant. Your comment is illiterate and Ill felt.
Connie you should not have told your daughter to suck it up. Nurses have to face death many times in their career & while they did choose the career, that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to get emotional about things that happen. They are human, too & not made of stone!
That was the point of the whole article. All we do as nurses is “suck it up” as you say. We are also human and sometimes we break down, need to talk or release some of the stress we carry around all day, everyday. Most of us try to help one another, whether its time time off or emotional support. What your daughter probably needed was a hug and a little support. Considering what she does for others, its not much to ask for.
Another RN who has been there.
Wow. Thanks for your wonderful advice. If you are ever sicker than crap and you need nursing care, I hope that nurse tells you to “suck it up”, because you, ma’am, are the one with the call light on down the hallway that no one wants to answer.
@ Olivia.. I am telling the nurse to suck it up and do what u were trained to do and have compassion. Ohhh hell I have been with people dying. When I had to admit patients in the hospice Unit and they were dying and the family STILL had to sign the admission papers and signing someone in who was DEAD!!!!!. u HAVE TO do what u have to do. Have u ever been in a bank robbery. Well I have been in 3 of them. And that is not fun!!!. But I didn’t cry and complain!!!!!. We did what we had to do. And miss Olivia u don’t need to be a smart ass.. she how u nurses are. Yes.. I have had to bring bad news to a person. U nurses want everyone to feel sorry for you. Well I am not. I have worked in banks and they are not much better. They are cheaper than medical field. And what I don’t like is hearing the nurses talking about patients in the elevator or in the cafeteria or with family members when the HIPPA law is in place. When I worked in banking for 23 yrs.. and yes I was an office manager we could never mention a clients name or even discuss about a client. So I have been through a lot just in a different line of work. U wanted to be a nurse if u don’t like what u do then get into another area of nursing.
Way to go Elyse! SO true these type of people won’t get nursing care from the heart but “SUCK it up” care. I love my job but these nasty Pt’s don’t deserve our dedication and compassion.
I feel sorry for her daughter….
Just suck it up? Your comment makes you sound even stupider than your spelling.
Wow, you must be an even worse mother than you are writer. What a horrible and insensitive comment to make to someone who is simply telling their side of a story.
It is hard to take your criticism seriously given your extremely poor grammar. Maybe you should “suck it up” and go back to elementary school.
Wow. I am proud to be a nurse and I am thankful for this post where people have been allowed to vent and communicate the good, bad and ugly. It helps each of us to know we do not stand alone- we need to work together, standing side by side to create the environment we want to work in.
Connie….obviously you lost the point of the blog. It’s not that we don’t truly love what we do, the point is we do “suck it up”and we don’t ask for accolades or medals. What we are asking for is respect….which obviously you don’t have. One day you will need one if us….
Wow you are a horrible mother. No wonder your daughter doesn’t tell you about her day. Thank God she got her father’s heart and compassion.
My dear Connie, After reading your comment, I can understand why your daughter doesn’t talk to you about her day.
That’s a bloody harsh thing to say to your daughter! She was just trying to offload to you. Everyone feels like that some days.
Wow Connie, I wish I could say something as eloquently put as others but I can’t…all I can say to you is “suck it up” and go back to school. Your lack of spelling ability is “sertiviedably” baffling.
All I can say to this remark is wow! Connie must not have a heart and hopefully isn’t a nurse!
Momma, you have a wonderful daughter you just posted about. Just think what kind of heartless person/nurse she would be if she didn’t have the heart to shed tears for lives lost. It is definitely a chosen profession and usually by people with big hearts. Coming from a nurse myself, I love my profession and have shead many tears. Some from joy, some from sorrow, some from shear exhaustion, and yes some from relief. Nursing is a tough job but also very rewarding. It’s tough to see people suffer but rewarding to be there when they are feeling better and greatful to you for helping or even saving a life and yes even keeping someone comfortable until they join our dear Lord in heaven. Please hug your daughter and Appreciate the beautiful person and wonderful caring nurse she has decided to be.
Is that what you told your daughter. Sounds very supportive
Connie Hahn,
Wow. Maybe I would take you seriously if you had at least the grammar skills of at least your average 1st grader. You really have no idea how both tremendously rewarding and, at the same time, tremendously draining nursing really is. Please, forgive us nurses for having some bad days. We still do “suck it up” even when we are on the clock busting our butts to take care of your loved ones, and unforturnately, maybe even you.
I hope you never need any empathy, understanding, or compassion. Karma might just give you a taste of your own medicine!
Seriously? Suck it up? We picked this career? Where would you or your loved ones be if we didn’t? Great way of being a supportive parent….
Excuse me? I am also a “sertivied” (?!?!?) pediatric icu heart nurse. Maybe your daughter cries alone in her car about her issues and not to you because you taught her to “suck it up” all her life.
Clearly you are an uneducated fuck and if you are going to be such a rude mole get your spelling right!! It never hurts to show some compassion, I hope the day you need a nurse to care for you they turn around and and tell you to suck it up!
Nurses are still human beings with human emotions. It is our JOB to offer you compassion and reassurance to your face. Just because we put on a brave face for you does not mean that we don’t go to our car or our home and cry about you and your situation, or think about you 20 times on our day off. There may not be any actual work we can do from home, but yep, we take our work home with us too. So the fact that your daughter cries over her patients should make you proud rather than irritated. It means that she is a wonderful nurse. Offer her your compassion and support and give her a hug. Nurses sometimes need that reassurance and compassion too instead of always having to be the one who gives it.
To Connie who wanted to tell her daughter to “Suck it up.”
Words can not express how awful/horrific that statement is.
I have been a nurse for over 29 years. Have seen miracles and horrific tragedies. I have laughed and cried with my patients and their families. I have stayed into the wee hours of the night to care for patients requiring life saving procedures. I have stayed with patients as they die, supporting their families. I have enjoyed seeing patient come in for follow visits who are doing well and enjoying life after critical illness.
I had no idea what I was in for when I was a young nursing student. I had no idea how hard the job would be. I have given up weekends, holidays, family events to care for others. I have made lifestyles changes to make myself available at a moments notice for a perfect strange who has an life threatening emergency.
I could not have done all I have as a nurse without the support of my family and my coworkers. To them I do not thank enough.
I do realize it is a choice to work in health care.
But Connie to tell nurses to suck it up is wrong. We are the ones that care for all.
Your daughter deserves more respect. All nurses deserve respect. We are the ones that care for your most precious items- your loved ones, both young and old.
That’s pretty cold. Nurses have to be cold and insensitive all the time in order to survivr being a nurse every day. Sometimes we need to break that hard exterior and have a cry. ***spoken from a hospice nurse that deals with death and sadness daily
I work as a processing tech i also work holidays weekends 14 hour days and miss a lot of family activities.Our profession rarely gets recognized.
Nice blog. I am one of those male coworkers, working in a women’s world for the last 28 years. I have held a variety of positions over the years and am now winding down my career in outpatient surgery. Relatively easier life than floor nursing. You make some very good observations and common complaints I have heard or felt myself over the years. The two things that have kept me going are the satisfaction of helping someone worse off than you and my faith. Without those I would have left nursing a long time
ago.
It gets worse. In this era of Internet any disclosure of error or even if a nurse gets a misdemeanor outside of work from depression attempting suicide to assault to a DUI in California can cause revocation of nursing license and nurses are supporting this punitive-nothing gets unpunished practice by the board of nursing. I am not telling my children to go into nursing!!!!
I specifically told my kids to stay out of the profession. The fight for improved ratios/use of fresh pool/casual staff has been my experience. A 12hr day is never 12…..get rid of this insane shift! Increase pay to be reflective of yrs of experience to retain talented staff & free CEU’s!
Very true..
I think if you feel this way about your nursing career you should go do something else! I have been a nurse for 20 years. Worked my way through nursing school, a single mom with 3 kids. worked weekends, nights, days, 3-11 shifts and whatever I had to do to be off for my children’s activities! That’s the beauty of nursing, you CAN move to positions and hours to accommodate what your life needs are at the time.
To Paula.
There is always some self righteous, unsympathetic, “angel of mercy” hovering above the rest of us with your pretentious judgements. Spare me, and the rest of us, because if every nurse would “go do something else” Like you suggest. There’d be no nurses left to do patient care.
So please go back to your pillar of aggrandizement, and spare the rest of well-intentioned minions your judgements.
I totally agree with this reply. You chose to be a nurse if you don’t like it, or can’t handle the pressure and the responsibility then please leave the profession. Yes everyone needs a break from time to time. Working every other weekend can be hard too, but you know this going into it. It is no secret that nurses work unconventional hours and shifts it is a 24hr run business. I pretty sure nursing is not the only stressful profession in the job market. By simply complaining on the internet you are not fixing anything except making the nursing profession appear to be a bunch of whinners. So please don’t repost this blog or post other such complaints such as this for the sake of our profession.
Ken, winners is spelled without an h.
I think we all feel this way from time to time and should acknowledge and respect these feelings rather than judging them. Yes, nursing is flexible… to a point. That doesn’t make it any easier when you have a really hard day (or a few days in a row). We need to support each other, and remind each other of why we are in the profession in the first place. Please do not judge.
Wow Paula, maybe YOU should go into something else; Apparently after 20 years, you’ve lost your compassion. Not every employer has flexability to do “whatever I had to do to be off for children’s activities”! And not all co-workers are willing or able to switch schedules. And not everyone can just go get a nursing job with a different schedule at the drop of a hat. SOME nurses are just happy to have a job. If you are going to sit there and pretend you’ve never called in sick when you weren’t because you needed a mental health day, then I’d say you’re full of it! If you’re going to pretend you’ve never been exhausted by a needy patient, you’re full of it.
How about a little compasstion for your fellow nurses, eh?
Paula you’re lucky to work in a facility that is so accommodating, but wrong to assume all facilities are that accommodating. I also have 3 kids and worked my way through school, aid, lpn to rn, have worked many facilities
in different states and can say NO, they are not.
Disagree. You’re probably a “nurse” on some fluffy med surg unit. This is exactly what she meant in her blog when she talked about supporting your fellow nurse if you know they’re burned out or need a mental health day. It’s about sticking together and being there for eachother. Maybe you should do something else.
I think the point, Paula, is that all nurses have “those days.” If you never have a day where it’s all too much, then hats off to ya. You’re bionic.
you are out of touch with reality, that is all I can say!!
You are missing the point.
I don’t think that the author of this wants to do something else. That is just it, her underlying tone is she loves nursing, but she is speaking up for nurses in general because our job is very stressful. I also keep a busy life, worked holidays with my previous firefighting job and current nursing career and it is never easy. I started off in nursing on a busy med-surg floor (average 1:6 nurse patient ratio) and made the decision to apply to a burn icu and I am very thankful for the change (having an average of 1 to 3 patients). No matter where nurses go, they are going to find stress. It does not mean that I no longer want to be a nurse, I just would like to see some relief come to our profession. I do also notice that many of the nurses who have been in the profession longer are not expected to work as many holidays, weekends, etc. You may argue that they deserve it because they have been in the profession longer (I can agree with that), but what is happening now is many of the hospitals are hiring new nurses with more stringent expectations. I was told I may be floated to a floor where many of the nurses can have 1:6 nurse patient ratio (sometimes 1:7) and the more experienced nurses are not required to. I am required to for an indefinite amount of time, perhaps my whole career as long as I stay at my current job. I am also expected to work at least 2 weekend night shifts out of a 2 week pay period where the more exp. nurses are exempt from this and only are required to work occasionally on weekends (this was also a requirement with being hired that will never expire). So in 20 years I will probably still be working many weekends with no relief in sight. I would love to have some of those same privileges passed down to me eventually…..I am not counting on that. Should I give up being a nurse and move on? No, I just want fairness in the profession and I want upper management to listen to us and hire more staff.
Think about what you wrote. Is there compassion or shame in your opening sentence? This is a rhetorical question, Paula.
I’m glad you were able to do everything, but that is not the norm for all nurses and all nursing jobs. I have felt the same way as the writer described and yet like she said I still love nursing. Don’t judge based on only your own experience. It’s a love/hate relationship and yet we couldn’t do without it.
Right on sister! In no way should you be apologizing! This is a blog, you can vent! It’s healthy! You are not alone. I work ICU. We are all In it together.
I think she was just venting. It seems she does care and values her profession or else she wouldn’t be taking the time to blog about it. It’s therapeutic. We all have love for what we do or have some passion for it at least, or else we would quit. It doesn’t mean it’s easy or without challenges. Of course there is a fine balance, often times large grey areas we have to deal with. I commend this nurse for being brave enough to write about this. Let the frustrated energy go through writing so you can healthily move on from it. There is no shame in it. We all need to support one another.
This is so true. After 15 years I am tired emotionally, physically and professionally. We are not paid for our knowledge time or sacrifice. When the guy down the block makes 110G a year for hydro one and gets ( in the summer ) every Friday off or the HR girl with no education who makes the same as me at UH hospital. I am going to copy this and sen it to manager. I have been pushing for personal days paid a year. Mental health counts. I have learned to say ” I count” !!! Thank you for posting so much truth nice. When that nurse has a breakdown , and no one is there to help you. Remember Kara. We should encourage voice to be spoken and support. Not” I sucked it up so should you. “Sad we need to progress as a profession and as “caring people” it’s okay to feel. The new generation of nurses see this, I hope to see change in the future.
I think that is really unfair to say! On my unit we ONLY have the choice to work 12 hr, rotating, weekend and weekday shifts. I’m not complaining bc my bosses are wonderful and try to be flexible bc we all know what it’s like to give up our time like that. With that being said, it’s not easy for one to just up and find a new job that accommodates our “life needs at the time,” whenever we need to. I think it’s great that you’ve been able to accomplish all the things you’ve wanted to and still make it to your kids’ activities but it’s not something everyone can do. I bet this woman is an amazing RN and is brave to share feelings out in the open that we all have experienced at one time or another. Does that mean that we ALL should find new careers?
I agree 100%. I work Hospice and have never felt like I didn’t want to go to work. I was a single mom and you just do it.
Thank you! So true.
That’s more easier said.then done ..let’s BE REAL…u can’t change.ur job just like that soo that’s a dumb.comment lady!!!
There we go, the almighty supportive co-worker…so glad I’m not working my 3rd 12 hour night in ICU with you…wouldn’t that be fun! Why oh why are nurses so unsupportive of each other. I’ve been nursing for 37 years, some very good days and some extremely bad days…this attitude towards your co-workers is very difficult to accept.
I have been a nurse for almost 20 years and I love my job!!!
I, too, was a single mother and worked my way through college with 2 small children. I did all that to make a life for me and my children. I have missed holidays with my family and school functions with my children but I knew what I was getting into when I went to college to become a nurse. Yes, we do a lot of things for a lot of people and miss out on personal things but this was a known fact before graduation.
I very rarely take vacation and the last time I called in sick was in 2012. Patient’s do not receive the care they deserve or need when the nurse calls in sick and the unit has to work short handed.
I suggest you find another profession if you are this unhappy.
Amen to you. Amen to nursing. I trained as a nurse 35 years ago. A nurse who had time for her patients. A nurse who had time to explain a medication change and the rationale behind it. A nurse who had time to sit with a patient and hold their hand after their doctor had just told them they found Cancer. A nurse who had time to rub the backs of every one of her patients because they slept better! A nurse who had time to chart and get off on time! A nurse who had time to listen. I am not telling you that nursing was not tough then either- because it was- but the day I realized that I could not be the nurse I trained to be, was the time I chose to leave the hospital setting. Today I am still working as a nurse, but in the Community and I love it! Here, I can be the nurse I trained to be 35 years ago! God Bless my collegues in the hospitals- I truly understand the job and all the stressors that accompany it – all because our governments are trying to save money off the backs of vulnerable patients! Non- profit? Hmmmm, perhaps because BIG bonuses are paid to those higher ups who save their health authority the most money per year!! Somebody profits…….
Thank you sooo much for writing this. I would also like to add that as a profession we “eat our young”. Nurses who may be a little less than organized or as fast as others get crucified. In a predominantly female profession it can be a little like working with the “mean girls”! There is too much to say, but again thank you for acknowledging the struggle!
very well said. I am now a retird RN,and I feel for the hospital nurses and the conditions they have to work in. I too left the hospital to work in the community and loved my work then. Hospitals are run by accountants usually and human life can not be measured in $$$ and cents.
Thank you for this post. I am not a nurse — I honestly don’t see myself as a strong or tough enough person to be a nurse. I see it as a calling, and some people are called to this profession. It is a largely thankless job, which I have seen firsthand. I don’t see this post as complaining or whining, I see it as a woman letting people know that her job is really, really hard. I have multiple friends and family members who are nurses, and nurses, more than doctors or administrative staff, are the faces and advocates I hold in my heart from my mom’s battle with cancer. Whether it was the nurse at the hospital who echoed my voice and made it louder when I begged the surgeon to put in the drain so my mom would be more comfortable in the end, my friend who explained what all the technical terms or scary words meant and helped me understand what was happening, my cousin who administered the medication to try to make my mom more comfortable when I was terrified and my hands were shaking too hard, my uncle who explained what was happening and helped us to prepare ourselves, and the nurse who showed up at our house at 2 in the morning to help us cope with the aftermath… These are the ones who made the biggest difference in our journey. I hold all these people in my heart and am so grateful for their guidance and assistance. Thank you for what you do. I hope you find some encouragement in some of these comments and ignore the negative ones. No one can tell you that what you feel isn’t valid.
Thank you, again.
Kourtney Leibman
Bravo!
“the day I realized that I could not be the nurse I trained to be, was the time I chose to leave the hospital setting. ”
ME TOO!
Beautifully said, Kourtney. Thanks for writing what I was feeling as I read the negative comments.
Thank you so much for that!
Thank you for sharing your story.
That is so nice to hear good compliments. It is after all the people like you that make this career rewarding. Yes, nursing is a challenge and you will have days you second guess your career choice nutit is those that you help that make it all worth it. I ended my shift this morning at the hospital and after a very challenging night with not enough help. I slept well today but what keeps me going are those patients who give hugs or smiles or ask if you will be back tonight and be their nurse or the ones who you work really hard on to get better such as resolving constipation, getting them up out of bed band walking again after surgery, making a little kids boo boo feel better or handing the mom her newborn baby for the first time. It is all in how you look at things. I truly believe the good outcomes outweigh the bad. I know every nurse has had that challenging patients and that is the fun of the job as you can take that challenge and try to change things for the better of that patient. I don’t believe calling into work to take a mental health dayi s the answer because it puts stress on an already short staff and patient care suffers if there is no replacement. It is only three 12 hour shifts, you have four days off in mostcases so take care of your own mental health on your days off. Nursing is not the only job where people have to work holidays. Work holidays is a bummer but think of the patients who have to be sick and in the hospital…not where they want to spend their holiday either. Most places have perks for working holidays as well and I think nurses get paid well for working the holiday. I do agree that you needs to take care of your fellow coworkers. it can be a difficult job and we need to support each other and encouraged new nurses because they need encouragement. Most of what we do gets better with time and experience so we need to take the time to put all of our gained knowledge into the minds of new nurses.. they are our valuable future of nursing so what we put into is what we will get back. It is all about perspective. Love being a nurse through good times and bad!
Sorry for the typos…thick fingers+tiny smart phone keyboard=typos
Im proud to say I’m a nurse, even after reading this honest and beautiful post. It is mentally hard more than anything I’m an ICU nurse, i know that when anyone hears that their loved one has been admitted to intensive care it’s one step away from the worse news ever. I would just like to say that There are times when I feel honoured to be a nurse in this field. The non- nurses of you reading this may not understand fully, I’ll try to explain! Basically, I have witnessed love like never before, right in front of me. I watch relatives stare for hours at their very sick loved ones in my care, sometimes there are no words,it’s peaceful ,but it’s at these times I hear can their emotions louder than anything. My most beautiful memory to date is of a man I looked after a while ago, he had been in hospital for weeks he had had numerous life saving operations. I took hand over from the night nurse at 07:30 am and introduced myself as his nurse, his initial response was ” I want to die” he repeated this for most of the morning,he had given up he was very poorly and there was nothing else the surgeons could do if he started to bleed again. I listened to his fears of going back in to theatre for the 5 th time!!) I approached the consultant on the ward round to make aware of how low he was.my patient was to tell him “no more surgery “so after a very frank and brutally honest conversation with a Dying man I felt his happiness and relief as we reassured him that there would be more surgery , he relaxed and with his consent the consultant informed his family of his decision initially upset they saw that he was no longer afraid to live ,the relief was almost instant. So almost 12 hours later as I handed my patient back over to the night staff ,my patient that 12 hours ago was scared to live , desperate to die and fearful of the future grabbed my hand and kissed it , smiled and thanked me for being his nurse………..This is why I’m honoured and proud !!!!!
Alas, nothing about working in healthcare is easy. As paramedic, I work 48 hour shifts, sometimes on very little sleep and get paid a third of what an RN makes.
that has to change! fight for it.
That’s because you have like zero training and know about 30 meds real well. You should not get paid what an RN makes.
I am a huge supporter of medics. I know you guys work your ass off, and you are an integral part of the emergency team. Thank u for what YoU do!
Get over it – where the hell do you work – Paramedics, generally speaking, make a boat load more $$$$ than do RN’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. You’re done with your patients (if you are go at what you do) within 30 minutes at most! RN’s deal with them as well as their families for days on end! Man up!
With a third othe education costs and a third of the responsibility. Also you only really work a third of those 48 hours. Sitting in a parking lot waiting for a call isn’t really “working.”
Former 11 year paramedic turned ICU nurse, so I know how much harder it is to be a nurse.
This is a well written post and really shows how rewarding and hard nursing is. Nurses are angels and hero’s. I am a nurse and my daughter is a nurse. We totally can relate to what you said in your post. If you are a nurse you are a caring and giving person and willing to do what it takes to help others. It can be a thankless job but also a rewarding one. Setting boundaries for yourself and knowing that some of the sacrifices you make are for a great good helps make this job more rewarding. Through out the years of nursing I remember touching lives and making a difference and that is what makes it all worth while. I wish you the best at nursing. Keep your heart into what you are doing and as your journey in nursing continues you will find more reward than sacrifice. Remember you may just touch one person’s life and change it forever. That is what nurses do.
Excellent post. Thank you. It is a very rewarding profession…..& tough. You can make a difference in just one persons life & maybe not even know what a difference you made.
Agreed!!!
Very well said. Not only have I sacrificed a lot, my family has too. I remember in nursing school our instructors told us we had to eat, sleep, live nursing and that our families would survive on top ramen and pb&j sandwiches. Of course I thought it was a crock at the time until my second semester. I had to go out of town for clinicals 2 days a week, a lot of of class time and when I was home, I was barricaded in my room studying. I missed my kids’ Halloween for the first time that year. I thought that it would be easier out of school. Wrong again.
My first year of nursing I work every major/ minor holiday and birthdays. Sleep was a necessity as I was working nights at the time. I NEVER saw my family. I would be coming home as the kids and my husband were going off to school/work and vise versa. As a night nurse, you spend your first day off sleeping so its not really a day off. I’ve missed many school functions that I used to be very involved in too. Its also been taxing on my marriage not being able to keep that bond.
I am 4 years into my career now and doing day shifts. Most days I have around 30 patients to myself with 2 or 3 CNA’s. Man do they work their butts off. A lot of times just as much as I do. I appreciate them so much and we have become like family. I am lucky though because my husband and I worked really hard at our marriage and make it priority to have date nights on nights I dont work to keep our relationship strong. We have been together 14 years. Our 2 oldest children understand that sometimes mom has to work holidays so they would rather wait until mom is home to open presents, our youngest children aren’t old enough to know the difference right now. So we celebrate our holidays (if I work it) a day early.
It is sacrifices for nurses and family working non traditional hours. I have had days I felt I couldn’t go another day but push myself because I chose this career. I do love what I do but not sure if I could do it all over again that I would.
Thank you for acknowledging the hard work by the CNA.
That’s the truth!!!!!
CNA ‘S CAN OUT WORK I NURSE ANY DAY AND GET PAID WHAT.
I was PCT for two years while in nursing school….my theory is that patient care begins with the cna and ends with the cna. I myself encourage all my coworkers to help no matter what the situation may be we are nurses but patient care is not only about meds and charting. The CNAs that work on my floor request to have my group because I will be the first to offer my help. I answer call lights and wipe butts and bath patients. I love my job and I appreciate my CNAs! A real nurse should know we are all responsible for patient care in every way.
Very well said, April. Family & spouse must come first no matter what! You only get 1 chance to raise great kids & have a reliable, loving partner in life. I am recently disabled from 34+ yrs of physical staff nursing…..my body gave out after pushing it to the limit with 2 kids in college. I found prn/casual pool allowed me the flexibility to be available for my family (although we sacrificed many luxuries & sleep!) as relief staff is always in demand. If I had to do it all over I would choose the legal field & work with attorneys to fight for people’s rights. My CNAs were my right hand & always treasured them. Keep your body in good shape & try to eat & sleep/take care of YOU.
I’m a critical care nurse on a floor where they won’t hire CNAs or techs for budget reasons. You better believe I appreciate all of the work CNAs do because I do it all: diapers, bed baths, turning patients, you name it.
Having been married to a nurse I have seen all the things that you have been talking about. When I was taken to the emergency department by my wife and seeing her reaction to being told that I had cancer. She turned white. While in the nursing home for recovery I must say the nurses were fantastic. They deserve to have the best treatment that can be given.
I was a tech in nursing school and I’ve been a nurse for 4 years. And I completely agree with you! This is the Hardest job I’ve ever worked because like you said its emotional, physical and mental work for 12 hours straight, sometimes with no breaks and then staying late to chart. I love nursing and I hate it sometimes, we all need those mental health days occasionally! Missing weekends and holidays all the time sucks and makes me want to go back to school so I can have a more normal life and get some respect… you are right, we are educated nurses who are treated like waitresses and drug dealers for most patients
All this is true for the PCT/CNA as well. The good ones anyway, we are usually the ones cleaning that patient more then anyone else and we are the ones left in the room after the physician or nurse has left to console the patient and we are run harder then anyone else physically with our patient ratio being 1:18 or more. I always see stuff saying love a nurse but the lazy nurses I have worked with would be nothing without the PCT/CNA taking care of their patients every need along with everyone else’s. We are usually the first ones to see something is wrong with the patient and report it to the nurse. And we stay by the patient and nurse running to get everything needed to save that patient. I’m just saying appreciate the PCT/CNA also, everyone seems to forget we are there and it’s not right!
I would gladly appreciate a good pct/cna or even a not so good one, if we were ever allowed to have one! We work 1/8 ratio without a pct/cna with hourly vital signs and postpartum care. We also have very sick antepartum thrown in the mix along with post-op hysts and other surgeries. I think anyone who works in a hospital works hard and is overworked and underpaid and always under appreciated!
I see a CNA as the same level of importance. I would be up a river without a paddle if I didnt have my CNAs. You are the first to notice many issues, definitely our eyes and ears to best care for our patients.
I too was a CNA for twenty years. I also was a waitress for twenty-six years. Believe me, CNA was the hardest job I have ever done. I raised two kids on a waitress wage and that was difficult; but when they grew up I became a CNA. Very rewarding from the residents, but the outside management made life miserable for all of the staff. Ratios are definitely the answer. Write your state congressman.
I agree with you Meila. I see nurse that run the CNA around like dogs and it is not fair. I, as a nurse, do not forget you and very much appreciate the CNA presence.
Meila you are so right,the cna/pct are always over looked. Everyones job is important but fact is we work our tails off.
Amen. I am a nurse intern/pcp and we are never acknowledged. Occasionally a nurse may have to do tech work for her shift and they pitch a fit when that happens. I had a nurse tell me one day, when she found out she had to do tech work for her shift, “Oh well, at least I will not have to think today”. Really, we as techs do not have to think? You are absolutely right. We do the most work with the patients and spend the most time with the patient and the nurses would not know if something was wrong with the patient, unless it was too late, if we were not there. Just saying.
I worked for many years as a CNA, I loved working with the patients but 90% of the nurses that I worked with were lazy & didn’t do anything they didn’t have to do.
I worked as a PCT throughout nursing school and is wasn’t until I started working as a RN did I see how truly important a good CNA/PCT really is. Thank you for everything you do. 😊
Meila, I agree with you 100%. I have been an LPN for 19 yrs now. I have always told my cna’s I appreciate them. Without you guys, we really would be stressed (mentally and physically). I also want to add….nurses, don forget where you came from. The first thing you were taught in nursing school was how to take vs, bathe a pt, and change a diaper. If you are caught up and you see your nursing assistant behind while someone needs something….DO IT!! That cna will respect you for it and be more out to do whatever you need done when they know you also have their back. Also, ask them for help, don’t demand it. They are adults, too. In my 20 yrs, most of them were older than me. Thank you to all the CNA’s!!
I love your statement I worked as a CNA for 25 yrs and everything you said is the gods honest truth.
Very well said. I worked for ten years as a CNA before becoming a nurse and I haven’t forgot what it means to be a CNA. I also taught hundreds of people to become CNAs at our local community college and I have always pushed the importance of nursing students needing the work experience of being a CNA before becoming a nurse so that one day they will appreciate the hard work and attentiveness that comes with CNA responsibilities. Just because one becomes a nurse, they are not too good to help give showers or clean fannies. I have seen it first hand…and I have walked in your shoes. The main idea that needs to be fostered in all nursing environments is that it is a team effort and everyone, despite your title, should work together for the best interest of the patient. So I give a shout out to all CNAs and say we appreciate all you, even if you don’t think we do. As a charge RN, the nurses I work with have become accustomed to my expectations of helping out the CNA and my rule is…no one sits down to chart or take a break until everyone, including the CNA is caught up. Hang in there and keep being awesome! Have you considered going on to get your nursing degree?
i am a Trauma Nurse. i simply do not recommend nursing to anyone…period. It definitely takes a toll on you and your family. Choose a different profession if family is important to you
I was a firefighter for 28 years and a nurse for 21. Nursing is harder.
John I totally agree with you. I worked as a full-time firefighter for 12 years and never worked a shift that I did not get to eat or use the bathroom. I cannot keep track of the times as a nurse that I have skipped meals and have been too busy to stop. Firefighters get breaks even on the fire ground (atleast when your air pack is being topped off…lol). I still love firefighting so I stayed on as a volunteer. Now volunteering as a nurse…hmmm I would have to think about that. 🙂
Nursing has proven to be, very much so, a mixed bag of tricks and treats. Like most who’ve been in the game for a long time, I have my scars. Some have been left by patients, more by their families, who all seem to know more than I do, but the lion’s share by administrators, former nurses who went over the wall and now cast their lot with the paper-shuffling bean counters who, with position and title, see themselves as having a greater impact on healthcare than those of us who are actually paid to care, and not just meet budget objectives. These are the people who impose policies they’re exempt from, set immoveable and unrealistic priorities for their subordinates, and all too often take sides, generally against their own dedicated, professional staff. Make no mistake, I love my work. But my advice to my children, given the current corporate paradigm, is to do something, perhaps more lucrative and less emotionally expensive, but something beside nursing.
So very eloquent….and so true. But many of us need to fight for those still in the trenches, ie: ratios, pay, benefits, etc. And also for the CNA’s who assist us.
The only profession where the elders eat their young!
I’m in nursing middle management. It is far less physically demanding and I respect that the nurses and aides under my charge are overwhelmed at times. I spend a great deal time answering to patients and families who vent about non nursing issues while the patient in the next room can’t breathe. The Internet has made them all experts. The hospitals weigh patient satisfaction higher than ethics.
When a patient complains that we are not answering their call bell. I print the call bell report and show them the response times. This usually ends the argument. It also shows my nurses that if they’re right that I will defend them.
Thank you for this blog, I can relate, truly I can. We are facing more staffing cuts (less nursing staff will = bad outcomes for our patients, staff, and the hospital itself as a business). We will only be allowed to have 2 nurses on our unit at night unless we have a certain amount of patients. This will mean no more lunch breaks, more patients will fall or be at high risk for other incidents, and the nurses will also get injured more than normal. I have chronic pain from repeated injuries to my back and neck, hips and all my joints…from lifting patients, running the halls to get to my patients in a timely manner, this is hard physical labor. Only another nurse or CNA would understand how holistically stressful this profession is. I can also relate to thinking, gee I hope I fall down the stairs or have a wreck on my way to work…I just don’t think I can do this tonight. And I love my job…I truly love my patients and my coworkers. I am grateful to God to have had this calling, to have been able to care for and love my patients and/or residents. My body is getting worn out though…and I am stuck like Chuck with a huge burden of student loans and medical bills related to my chosen field. I wouldn’t change it, I don’t regret being a nurse, but I just need to find a way to still have patient contact without having to lift them, and still make enough $ to keep our home and take care of my debts. I will never be able to pay off my university loans…who will care for this nurse when I can no longer work? I feel like a disposable diaper at times. But then there are those glorious moments when a patient is appreciative, or a life saved, a family member comforted, and it is all so worth it. Sorry for rambling on…just got home from working 3 12 hour shifts. the sun is up and down I go.
The beauty of nursing is that you can go wherever suits your interest! Perhaps now is the time to pursue something hands off or clinic based.
As a nurse in Mental Health, while I don’t have it physically demanding, it’s definitely infinitely more taxing emotionally and mentally. Being hit, chased, swore at, made fun of (even by other nurses who look down on mental health as a specialty). Having to work with the patients all the nurses complain about and stigmatized themselves. Having to hear “I don’t know how you work in psych” every time you tell someone your specialty. It’s sad.
You said it so eloquently, especially the disposable diaper.I feel you. I’m in the same position. I’m thinking about biting the bullet and trying more school; although that means more debit. But I will also be looking around for something in the community. I know they pay less, but there is peace of mind. I believe the hospital setting is only going to get worse because of staffing shortages.
its a tuff job my sister, my sister in law, my niece, and a number of friend are nurses they have big hearts it,s the system that benfits
I know that nurses put in a lot of hours and I am very grateful for what they do and give up to be there. But remember there are other professions that many of us have chosen that take us away from our families. I work 10 to 12 hours a day weekends and nights. All so we can have a better life. Let’s applaud us all that choose to work to help the family and we will make it whatever tournament or playoff that we can!
Nursing is one of the hardest jobs there ever will be. I have been a nurse for 18 years and have done everything from the 12 hour shifts to 8-5 in a clinic, I have found that both jobs are tiring and hard in different ways!!! People do not understand what all nurses put up with on a daily basis, not only the patients but also having to deal with some of the doctors that are not so nice! I love helping people which is why I started nursing in the first place but after 18 years I have taken a break I had found myself hating my profession so I completely understand the way you feel in your post !
Wow. EXACTLY what I have been wanting to say. I have worked in healthcare for 14 yrs and have only been an RN for the last 5 and I am burned out already. It’s more than a tough job and too much to explain to friends and family. I work in an ER…it’s a combo of the patient load and stressed out, overworked coworkers. I’m already looking for something else because I’ve hit my stress limit.
I was sent to this wonderfully if emotionally worded post by a nurse friend of mine. Being a respiratory therapist I work the same 12 hour shifts as nurses. Rather than having 5-7 patients all in a row, I have an entire floor and Critical Care Unit. I don’t begrudge this, the nurses have a lot more to do with their patients. The added miles do take a tole though. The comments added above the post as well as the comments to the post are all really good. I too have wished for a way out, be it a car wreck or some other reason to stay away. MacDonald’s and Walmart look better every week. I was stuck in an elevator at work once. I sat down and began to enjoy my unscheduled mandatory break. The other person in the elevator didn’t feel the same way so she pushed all the buttons. Yeah, that didn’t help. Sadly we were out in 5 minutes. I was disappointed. I plead with all you current nurses. Remember we are all in this together. In the past few months I have been told twice by nurses they don’t need me, they can bag a patient. And yet they still call. The healthcare field can be competitive to get into. Please remember once we are in, we are on the same team. We need to look out for each other as well as ourselves. No one else will.
amen. it is supposed to be a team effort and yet too often people think only nurses go through this. everyone that works shift work goes through this. people need to stop focusing on “oh my job is way harder than yours” and look at what we each contribute to the healthcare team. we all have to call on each other for help at times. even though we as RT’s are not responsible for everything going on with that patient, we are responsible for the airway and cardio aspect of it. that includes, like you said, an entire floor. so, sometimes you are trying to give a neb treatment on the floor and get called to the ER for an emergency while at the same time a 32 week preemie decides it is time to make his entrance into the world, so you and your coworker are tied up with critical patients while patients and other people are mad that you don’t jump at their every whim. and it doesn’t matter than only 2 RT’s are covering the ENTIRE hospital. anyway, and don’t laugh at this, but I am going back to school for nursing because I want more opportunity that I don’t get as an RT. I still am keeping my RT license. I always feel like banging my head against a wall when I hear hospitals talking about profits and I see them cutting clinical staff but hiring more office people. go figure.
I am a nurse and I love my RTs! You are vital to the team. Those other nurses are kidding themselves. Thank you for doing what you do.
Lol…you took an unscheduled mandatory break!!! I love it!!!
I am an LPN (YES WE ARE NURSES TOO) I get soo tired of teachers constantly complaining about their jobs. I have always been proud of the fact that even though nurses also have jobs that are mentally and physically challenging we don’t complain like teachers. Wish I hadn’t read this.
What? !?!? This whole post was nothing but whining and complaing
Yes, an LPN is a nurse also, albeit one with less responsibility than a registered nurse. LPN’s are under the charge of an RN, do not do IVs (without special training) and are not allowed under their license to do assessments (which means admissions on the floor). Over the years as an RN, I have seen the LPN’s role in health care pared back, particularly in larger hospitals because of the limits of their license.
I feel one should be able to make the distinction between speaking up and out for what you believe in and “complaining”. If nothing is said, nothing will change.
Not sure where you are but here in BC Canada, LPNs do admissions too. There is just so little difference between RN and LPN here nowadays when it comes to Skills. Not to discredit the two more years an RN does of schooling but that extra two years, because they have so much more training when it comes to disease processes, dealing with families and doctors etc and I recognize and respect the difference. But on the floor, you Can’t tell the difference between RN and LPN because we’re doing the exact same things. I wish people (general public) were not so ignorant to what an LPN is and what it is we do. We are nurses too. I work just as hard as an RN, I have $24,000 in student loans for my diploma. I am a professional too. Can someone just make a documentary already and follow nurses around to educate the public on what we go through in a day and what a crisis we are in when it comes to workload and safe staffing?
I’m an LPN as well and only I am responsible for my license. I do not work UNDER an RN I work alongside one.I have just as much responsibility as our RN’s. Not less. Our differences are in skill set. I do IV’s and can start them a lot better than others. I required no special training to be able to do this either. It’s caleld Nursing school. I do assessments daily, I also admit patients, discharge them, assist in deliveries. In fact my responsibility is the baby, I’m the one with neonatal resuscitation in there. I can push meds, I can give IV meds, I can give meds in an any form and route. I maintain CVC lines and change wound vacc dressings. I suction patients and can do chest physio on them. Like the CNA (of which we have none in our facility) I lift people, wash them, dress them and toilet them. Nothing makes me angrier than RN’s thinking they are somehow a superior nurse. What I see coming out of nursing school these days is a bunch of useless nurses who think they are too good and unable to perform basic care. It’s the older RN’s who need to smarten up and realise we are all in this together. We all learn from each other in this field. We all need to support each other not tear down people. Regardless of discipline. Your entire consescending post tells me you are one of “those” RN’s who think CNA’s and LPN’s are there to do all the work you don’t want to do.
Agreed!
I am assuming you are referring to a hospital setting because I am an IV certified LPN and I do assessments and admissions all the time. And yes, the hospital in my town no longer employees LPN’s, its a shame really because we could bring a lot to a hospital setting.
I am an LPN, work in a SNF-we DO do our own IV’s (even placing them), often do 2 admissions (with assessments, meds and Tx orders) in a shift, all our own wound care, g-tubes, draining chest tubes, meds, weekly assessments, etc. Please understand, while we are not always “welcome” in the hospital environment, we do function very well, on our own, doing the same kind of work, often for the same pay, in facilities all across the US. We ARE nurses in every sense of the word, work just as hard as any RN, many of us with degrees and special certifications in wound care, CPR, MDS training, etc.
Well Jan I guess you either get the queen of the martyrs crown or you a lazy uncaring nurse who can’t relate to the post or comments because you are not that overworked or emotionally drained.
I thought nurses were so supposed to practice empathy, don’t you have any for other nurses?
Not all teachers complain, but after 20 years teaching high school I can assure you it is no cake walk. We too face cuts so classes get larger, while administations pockets get fatter. I have students who come into my class unable to read but yet, their standardized test score will factor into my evaluation. I had a class of seniors one year where several were on probabtion, one spent weekends in jail, and one who was charged and convicted of rape. The last thing these kids cared about was learning anything. They had full time jobs, babies, or were homeless. All of this is heartbreaking when you establish a bond with them. Yes we have great “day hours” and holidays and the summer off, but I bring home 2 to 3 hours of work every night and at least one of my two weekend days is spent grading. We too take mental health days because we are looked at as parents too because many parents simply do not care. I have had to call DCFS for any mentionable type of abuse, dry tears, pick up puke and sneak new shoes in a locker because the kid was wearing hand me down duct taped shoes. My summers I spend preparing curriculum that the government changes constantly because they feel every child should be able to yeid the same passing test score. So while I sit here in the hospital with my grandma watching the nurses run their asses off, please understand that teaching is no walk in the park some days either.
Teachers complain, nurses complain, accountants complain, attorneys complain, construction workers complain, secretaries complain. Everyone who works hard is entitled to blow off steam. Get over yourself.
Really? You do? Then a nurse should never complain about theirs. Teaching is just as hard. In 15 years, here are some of the things I’ve done: talked a kid down from suicide, held a kid while she cried because her remaining parent had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, helped kids get through the fact that Katrina wiped everything away even while I was trying to come to grips with that fact myself, visited a child with leukemia who missed their entire 7th grade year due to chemo, attended more troubled kids’ funerals than I care to count and dued a little each time…among other things. Don’t you DARE BE SO SACTIMONIOUS AND SELF-RIGHTEOUS that one of your own has decided to let some of her feelings out and don’t you ever speak so condescedingly about teachers until your butt has stepped into a class and done something.
I have a good friend that was an ER nurse for 15 years. Close to a nervous breakdown, she went back to school and is now teaching. She said when she is in the teacher’s lounge and they are all saying how stressful their job is, she just laughs. She said it’s a tough job but would never compare to the stress of nursing.
I have many family members who are nurses…they work their butts off. However, I am a teacher. I have 120 students who I must know their educational situation, plot out student growth, know whether their family or home situation is hindering their success…etc. I have to report everything to serious situations, to stupid jokes they just throw. I go in an hour early to plan lessons, I stay late to finish planning lessons, I plan at home, grade at home, and do everything else at home…all for only an eight hour pay a day. Summers off…I go to school because I am required to get a masters degree by a certain point in my career as well as continuing education credits. I get paid for nine months and choose to put it out over the summer. I never see my children during the school year…they are in bed the time I get home most days. I feel for nurses…you guys are AMAZING. with the emotional toll you take as well as never being able to take a break at work or home…you guys amaze me. But please don’t feel the need to bash another profession when you don’t understand what goes with it.
To Bill I hope you read this, you made some very good points in your rebuttal, and I agree all jobs have stress.. But not at any time can you say that the fustrations of nursing aren’t unique. I have become very proficient at leaving my job at the door and I think most nurses do,, or we would all be on disability for post-traumatic stress disorder.. As a nurse I have had my hands in a woman’s open abdomen as the doctor washed away debris. I have cared for the hairless, unresponsive woman on a ventilator, when her husband of 40 years comes into the room with a picture of what she looked like 2 months ago on their cruise, my job is to give him one more day with her, and then help him let go. I will take care of the sexual offender in the next room the same way I cared for her. I will take the verbal abuse the lady who is angry at me because there’s a spot of blood on her husband sheet, I will apologize and change the sheet and I’ll never tell her the man in the next room is trying to die and I was hanging my third vasopressor. I have been called for deposition to defend the care I gave, to the 300 pound man that never took care of himself a day in his life, who is in heart failure, kidney failure, and non compliant diabetic suddenly dies and the family blames the care we gave. We literally hold people’s lives in our hands. If you think the stress and you have on your job can equal the stress we feel when we know one mistake can cost someone their life you are very mistaken. New regulations placed on hospitals and budget constraints because of the ever-changing managed healthcare have made our jobs more difficult by the month. I’m really not complaining right now, I love my job and I’m damn good at it. I just want you to know that if a nurse needs to complain about missing a holiday or her son’s hockey game she probably has the right to do so without being told to find a new job.
I almost cried when I read this. It may not be researched, but I know it’s truth. I love what I do and hate what I do and often I am overwhelmed by what I do and what is expected of me. Currently I work at a remote critical access hospital on a island off the coast of Washington State accessible only by an hour long ferry, boat, or plane. We go back and forth every 3.5 weeks between days and nights and NEVER know what to expect going in (not atypical for ER). Some shifts we may not see a single patient, others we my be so overwhelmed we hardly know which end is up. We have that same awful weekend requirement and even though we work full-time, because we are minimally staffed, we are required to pick up two twelve hour call shifts a month. It may not sound like much but when you figure in the fact we are the only ones available to cover for vacation or sick calls, it adds up in your mind and taxes your body. When you are working you worry about what might come through those doors because you don’t want it to be something you’ve never seen or have only dealt with once over a year ago. You are on hyper aleirt when weather socks us in with a patient who is acutely ill and needs transport because if they code it may just be you and the doc if the inpatient nurse has a patient trying to climb out of bed and the best thing they can do for you is try to call in some help…I find myself arguing with doctors often about admiss because of the “what ifs” related to that admission often to no avail …thankfully I have been proven over cautious more than right but I really don’t want to be on shift when not only am I right, but the worst case scenario plays out. Its overwhelming but it’s what we do to bring more advanced medical care than a clinic can to our community and no less than nurses do everywhere. Thank you for your post, I needed to read that.
I hope you DIDN’T say that, Connie. Because a “true nurse” doesn’t “just suck it up” and ignore his/her own emotional reactions.
Would you also tell the mother of that baby that she should just “suck it up” because she CHOSE to be a mother, and should therefore accept the tragedy of her child’s death because that’s just part of parenthood?
Well said!!
Amen Olivia!!! Nothing wrong with being human and crying with a patient and family or alone in your car after an emotional day. Those are the kind of nurses I want taking care of me! Not some unemotional hard ass!
Well said! Most people do not truly understand what it takes to be a nurse and what we do every day!
My opinion it should be named healthcare. Your emt medics go through some horrific events as well. I didn’t understand the distancing my husband went threw after a few rough calls. I didn’t understand his inability to sleep due to nightmares. Until I became an emt myself. I’m described as over compassionate and nurses ask all the time when you coming over to the dark side. The dark side I ask, it’s actually a little safer by maybe 2%. I’m alone a good percent of the time the only person that hears me scream if I need help is my partner driving. Thank god for nurses thank god for healthcare individuals in all aspects of the field. Maybe one day some one will recognize the difficulties we have doing our jobs.
Spot on. I’ve been in nursing since graduating with a BSN in 1980. Worked as an aide nights to pay tuition. Did 8 years in Illinois at a catholic hospital on a surgical floor with a great boss and safe staffing and patients and families who respected and appreciated the staff. Then I move to Houston and started working L&D in a community hospital that was later bought out by a corporation. I’ve worked all 3 shifts. Always at the bedside. I’ve had great bosses and supervisors who’ve said “I can’t shit a nurse” when we’ve begged for help. I can’t imagine doing anything else but I live with chronic pain from patient caused back injury And IBS and GERD from the stress. The weekends and holidays come with the turf, the goofy hours gave my husband an I the ability to raise 4 kids without ever paying for day care. The patients who say thanks I couldn’t have done it without you offset the stupid ones who say “you gotta do what I say bitch cause I’m paying your salary” and they are on Medicaid. I view nursing as a ministry and somedays I hate it too. It helps to be able to afford to cut back to part time when you are old and tired. Hang in there what you are doing is important (as a cancer survivor I know how important the staff is). And there are no better people to do life with than your fellow nurses. One if my nurse friends even did my ironing when I was having chemo and wasn’t up to it! Thanks diana!
Wow, Michelle. For a 2 year graduate nurse, you certainly seem to know an awful lot about the stresses of nursing! When was the last time, in your stressful corporate world, that you are aware of one of your co-workers accidentally killing someone because of a mistake made programming a machine? When was the last time you had the CFO of your company breathing down your neck because you couldn’t get your non-paying client to leave their bed? When was the last time you couldn’t change the suction canisters fast enough to keep up with the blood you were suctioning from a grandfather’s stomach while his family sat beside him, crying, hugging, and trying to fit a lifetime’s worth of love into an hour? I’ve worked in the corporate world as well as nursing, and the stressors of nursing, of healthcare in general, do not compare to anything outside the industry. You have probably experienced a high level of stress, but nurses experience a different KIND of high-level stress. I hope you find it as easy to handle as you expect.
Your blog post is so very true. Why is it that the frontline main caregivers get the short end of the stick? Too many people take your profession for granted, until they need a nurse to attend them in hospital. I have no answer to your dilemma but I’m on your side. I pray that you’ll find the physical strength and mental energy to deal with the stress of your job. You may not believe in God but I pray that he’ll get you through the terrible and hard times you face.
Holy Crap Laura – Lots of comments – Love you – Ginny – Utah!
Here are my thoughts – Since I recently managed a non-profit both MS and ICU units. MS nurses have the absolute worst of it. seriously, 5-6 patients during a day shift where they start with 5, discharge 2-3 then get 2-3 admissions on a day shift. Night shift sometimes started with 6, discharged 1 or 2, got 1 or 2 from PACU to recover and send home in 1-2 hours, then could still bump to 7 with ER admits throughout the night. They are dealing with the most new grads because everyone needs at least 1 year of MS experience to do most anything else so everyone is always asking the experienced nurses questions and it is a team effort to do anything. The C.N.A.s are helpful but limited, some lazy and since they come from this generation want to constantly be texting their friends rather than working to help out. Nursing is tough. Nurse managers are in the middle. They are given a budget and told to stay under it. They don’t have input into it to tell administration what they need to run the unit properly or safely. Who cares about patient safety? As an American citizen – my advice – never leave a family member alone in a hospital. Nursing staff just don’t have enough time to help everyone or see everything anymore. They are worked to the bone. And Charting – can you possibly chart everything you actually did anymore? there is no way to keep up but if you don’t it could mean big trouble. You have Core Measures to deal with, Patient Satisfactions scores, Education for yourself and the patient, in-services on equipment that is forever changing, new hospital programs, new computer software, etc. etc. etc. Oh yeah – and don’t forget to take care of the patient, manage their pain, hold their hand, feed them, love them, clean them, walk them, give spiritual care, just be there for them. Nursing isn’t just the 12 hour shift either, it’s the hours you get ready to go, the hour after the shift giving report, the mind debrief hour you do after you leave going over everything to make sure you passed on all the information you needed to, then, if it was an especially traumatic day, the days you replay it in your mind wondering if you could have caught something earlier or missed something important. The guilt that you beat yourself up with. And if it isn’t that, it is the guilt you beat yourself up with for missing something that your family was doing – that holiday, that game, that after school practice or even just not being there when the kids got home from school. Lots of guilt we nurses lay on ourselves.
So, I agree with Laura, her blog said it perfectly. Nurses, take care of yourselves, and more importantly, take care of each other. We need to stick together as professionals.
I spent 35 yrs in nursing, 25 in the ER and another 10 in a ODS Recovery setting. I am originally a diploma nurse and for 25 years I loved my job! Hated to have a day off for fear I would miss something….then things changed. Bedside nursing was viewed as unnecessary time spent with the patient, computer time was more important, calming a patient’s fears was not seen as part of nursing….after 35 years I decided to hang up my cape. I am now a certified real estate appraiser. Is it rewarding…not really but pays better than nursing, no one spits on me, or pukes in my pocket, or swears at me…but no one thanks me for saving the life of their loved one or hugs me when good news is given, or asks me to hold their hand because they are scared. Nurses…are we heroes -No! Are we committed to the humanality of our patients-Yes! Are we overworked, understaffed, and under paid .. Yes!
Would I change any part of those 35 years…not as far as nursing goes. would I do it again…I am not sure. Would have to think about that!
So true. .. love it…
So proud of my daughter being a nurse
Im a home health nurse and have been doing this about 2 yrs now. I love it. I love the people, I love my coworkers, I even love by boss, but some days its like Ive hit the bottom. There is literly nothing else for me to give a patient. Some times this feeling is over with a good nights sleep, sone times it take me a week to slog through it. Nursing is definately a hard job, but I don’t know what else I would do if I wasn’t a nurse.
I have been a nurse for over 45 years. Unfortunately for a lot of individuals who enter the nursing profession, they forget that nursing is not a 9am-5pm weekday job with every weekend off. When they get married and have kids this is when the real pressure starts. My nursing career has had its’ ups and downs, but I worked hard, got my education and raised 2 kids single handed. They are both in healthcare and realized right from the “get go” that if you can’t work in the 24 hour clock, rethink your career. Nurses get paid a pretty good salary, but again there are other careers that make a heck of a lot more. I would like to think that the Negative effects of nursing in some individuals eyes i.e. can’t see your child play hockey, dance etc is the individuals responsibility to rethink their chosen profession. Healthcare is now a business and if you can’t do it “get out before they remove you” and believe me they can.
Thanks for sharing. I’m an EMT and work in the ER and I feel a lot of your same feelings. We all work together in the same enviornment and it is very taxing. After my 3 weekend shifts of 12’s I’m completely out of energy. I feel guilty because I can’t even enjoy listening to my kids and husband about their day… A part of me doesn’t care. My compassion and empathy and listening ears are DONE. So yes, I completely agree that mental health days are so important.
OMGOSH!!!!!!!!! So real, so true, so needed!!!!
These post reflect my insides. I am 62 – almost ready to retire. I will miss it so and not miss a thing at the same time.
I have been in nursing for over 37 years. Yes, there are trying times for me, but rather than complain, I thank God that I have a job. If your nursing career is as horrible as you say it is, then find a new profession! If you feel the need to blog about this, you can do it without profanities, which cheapens you, and our profession!
I find other nurses are harder on nurses than non-nurses. When I was pregnant with my daughter and experienced severe pain due to an early release of hormones relaxing my joints(thing grinding pelvic bones!) I was told to suck it up daily. I suffered a lot at the hands of coworkers who couldn’t understand my obsession with my own body. “Go home or lift that heavy patient!” Pregnancy, duh. I burned out, I became so unhappy at work, and my attitude with coworkers and patients changed. I hated my job, my employer, my profession. When HR acted like 5 weeks should be more than enough time off after a second c section, I took time off without pay. I had to. It’s taken me years and a lot of self challenges, but I love my job more than I ever did. I still have a lot of issues with policies and the way we are treated by employers. We have little job security, no matter your experience, and anything can be used to end your career. But I’ll plug on until they make me stop, or I’m eligible to retire!
Thank you :),,theres good nurses n unfortunately bad nurses,,your one of the good ones..You nurse from the Heart!
I have been nursing for 30 years. I have been that nurse that this author has spoke about for many of them, working med/surg, IV therapy, relief supervisor, always on committees trying to improve things. After 22 years of it I sacrificed my back, become gent toxic after a gruesome back surgery, been kicked out because of my injuries and then accepted back, reeducated to become a wound care nurse, used by the hospital above and beyond my abilities as a human to get to outpatients all day and do rounds when the outpatients stopped coming in at 4 pm. I became the nurse that tried to stand up to the powers that be only to loose the friends that wanted that power and have to leave a loved practice. I have found a great niche now working with developmentally delayed people. It is a most wonderful gratifying experience to care for others that do not demand, that need so much and to help those that take care of them by teaching them the ways to make it easier to care for them. The hardest thing to explain about nursing is not what we do, but why we keep doing it.
I am an LPN that works 12 hr shifts at noc in geriatrics in longterm care…5 or more patients are all you have? Try 28+ (downsizing d/t census) with behavior pts, brittle diabetics, dialysis pts, dying pts, new admissions, demanding pts….when ask supervisors how do I do this, am told to prioritize!….and then get nursing assistants cut from the schedule….try getting wrote up because you are on the phone with PCP or NP and dont have time to take your breaks cause pt care…happened to me. I always thought of nursing as my mission in life but now just looking forward to retirement…burnt out beyond belief.
I have always considered LPN’s my peers at work. I totally agree with your statements. Nursing is also my mission in life. The type of work we do is overwhelming at times. But also very rewarding when we get that special thank you, or pat on the back for a good job done well. We must build each other up, support each other. I try to tell other nurses that I see what a great job they are doing. It has gotten impossible to do team work…as we are working so short staffed that there is no team to work with. Times are hard right now. I am looking to get into a management position where I will be able to make a difference, to advocate for my nursing staff (CNT’s, LPN’s, and RN’s as well). I also go out of my way to encourage good rapport with all the other employees at work, regardless of their position. A kind and encouraging word can make someone’s day a bit easier and worthwhile. Thank you for posting Thelma! Bless you
I agree, if you don’t like the hours, then change them. We all have jobs and lives, not only nurses! It is very sad how all you RN’s complain non stop yet get paid extremely well, try being a CNA working the same hours as you guys, getting paid 12.00 an hour and most RN’s sit and complain about being under staffed and having to work..you chose the career so quit complaining about it! I think CNA’s deserve more respect, as they do the work as you guys usually just pass meds! Unless you have a great fun job that would make you happy! I have never seen people in a profession complain so much!
Sad but I am thankful for the nurses who love their jobs and don’t complain!
I have been working healthcare since I was a teenager. Transporter>CNA>LPN>RN>WCRN, I have worked in LTC,HH,Psych,ICU,COU,Tele,Rehab,LTACH,CCU, and a few others along the way. I was also an Army Medic for 6 years. I have found that being a RN is a very unappreciated endeavor at times. We are the whipping post for patients, families, doctors who expect their noses to be wiped, the administration, etc. We seem to be a piñata for others pent up frustrations. No matter what went wrong with the patient, the RN will bear the brunt. I have burned out many times and have taken a few Mental Health Days, it’s simply part or it. I have been assigned to patients that have families in the room with note pads, they will write down your name as soon as you walk in, then everything you do or say. Families now are taking photos and recording actions with phones. Many times we here “Who’s in charge around here?” when patients and families don’t get what they want when they want it.
Now for the good news, sometimes when I’m thanked by a patient of family member its like a fresh breeze. Nurses deal with much more then anyone who is not a nurse realizes. For me personally my current job has been the best. Not having to do Charge anymore is nice, or deal with all the other stuff. I have my days where I get crispy but solider on like all my colleagues. Hats off to the crew I work with weekly they are the best.