The Effects of Nursing on Nurses
Hi, welcome to my blog post. I have never had a blog post get more than 50 comments, so I am a bit overwhelmed. After responding to many comments, here is a note:
Note: I wrote this blog entry at the end of my 3rd 12 hour shift in three days. I was tired and I was emotional. It is a blog post, not an “article.” It is not researched or sourced, it is purely opinion.
The point of this post is that nurses (and many other professions) need to take the time to practice self care and to encourage one another to practice self care.
My biggest mistake in this post (and there are many) was to use “her” or “she” when I should have used “they” or them.” I ignored my male coworkers, and I should not have. You have my apologies, and I have corrected the post. I have left “she” and “her” in place in the portion where I talk about my coworker.
I have read every comment posted and deleted some very nasty comments that were not helpful to conversation. If you feel this is the place to spew your vitriol, it is not.
August 11, 2013
This morning, while I was giving report to the day shift nurse taking over my patients, she burst into tears.
She’s going to miss her children’s hockey play offs due to our strictly enforced every other weekend schedules. You work every other weekend, no more, no less, unless you are going to college (I work every weekend because I’m in college). She’s their hockey coach, and inevitably, each year, their last game falls on a day their mother has to work. I’ve come in early for her before.
So I offered to come in on my night off for an hour and a half so she could get to the game. I’m coming in that early because I know she won’t be done charting.
She turned me down until another day RN got involved. I reminded my coworker I only live a mile from the hospital, and it really wasn’t a big sacrifice for me. She finally agreed, and calmed down. We got permission from the charge nurse.
Nursing is one of the largest professions in the world. If you don’t know a nurse, I’m really surprised. Nurses talk a lot about the rewards of nursing. Catching that vital sign, saving lives, providing comfort, but nurses, by nature, are taught to martyr themselves on the altar of nursing.
When I was a new grad, I hated coming to work so much that I would wish I’d get hit by a car on my way to work just to get out of work. One night, while checking medication sheets, I confessed this to some experienced nurses and found out some of them still felt the same way.
In nursing, it is NORMAL to have days where you wake up and just can’t mentally and emotionally face the day at work. I swear, the only other people who can understand this are nurses.
Nursing is emotionally, physically and mentally taxing, and some days you run too low on what you can give emotionally, physically and mentally. That minor back injury you don’t want to report to HR because you don’t want it on your record. Having a patient with constant diarrhea who can’t get out of bed and needs to be physically rolled and cleaned several times an hour. The cold you got from the two-year old someone brought in. The sorrow that comes from supporting someone who has just found out they were dying, holding in your own tears so you could wipe theirs. In one day, all of those patients could be yours.
I don’t know a nurse who hasn’t taken a mental health day. Some do it by requesting more vacation than others. Some do it by calling in sick, but it’s all time off because we are too drained to give anymore.
So if you know a nurse, and that nurse mentions to you that they feel like calling in because they just can’t take it another day, don’t give them a hard time. Especially if you have an 8-5 job with weekends off or some other really great schedule. The 12 hour shifts nurses work mean we miss the entire holiday we work with our families. Night shift nurses have to choose between holiday dinners or sleep. Often, if a nurse chooses to sleep rather than go to the holiday dinner, guilt ensues. Even though I’ve told my mother-in-law repeatedly that every nurse has to work holidays, she makes a point to say how horrible it is my husband has to be alone for a few hours. What about me? Working my ass off while everyone else celebrates?
We work hard. We are intentionally understaffed by our hospitals to improve profit, even if the hospital is a non-profit. We help people at the worst times of their lives, and often have no way to debrief, to get it off our chests. We don’t just bring warm blankets and pills. We are college educated, degreed professionals who are often treated like uneducated, lazy servants. We get sexually harassed by our patients. We get groped, punched, cut, I even know of a nurse on my floor being strangled (she survived).
Nursing can be rewarding. But nursing is a fucking hard job. If you are afraid of healthcare rationing, you should know it is already happening. Nurses are unable to give everyone the care they need, so patients with smaller problems may not get the same level of care. A nurse may be pressed to only give the minimum amount of care to a patient if they have 5 or more very sick patients. If you don’t want healthcare rationing, talk to your local hospitals about their nurse to patient ratios. Talk to your doctors. If you hear of legislation to support nurse to patient ratios, vote for it. Support it.
So if a nurse needs a day off, you support them. If you’re in a position to help like I was this morning, do so. If you are a nurse, go easier on yourself when you think about the things you didn’t finish, or the things you should have said. It’s a 24-hour a day job and you don’t have to do it alone.
As of January 27, 2014, this post is no longer accepting comments. I am doing this as a practice of self care. Tending to this blog post, several times a day, has become a burden. It has had over 2 million hits, and I am tired. The post has become a platform for people who want to propel their own agendas and are using my space to do so. Thanks to all who said such nice things, and to everyone else, go write your own blog.
Posted on August 11, 2013, in Nursing and tagged Health care, Nursing, registered nurse. Bookmark the permalink. 2,612 Comments.
ofcourseitsaboutyou 
Everyone I know appreciates nurses and your work. There are many in our circle of family and friends, including my sister Alana, retired after 35 years, and now nursing for free in missions offshore, out of love for people, God, and the profession. Thank-you for your support and kindness to your colleague, and for choosing such a vital and valuable calling! Sincerely, Kevin
I have been an RN for 30+ years and it has changed significantly and not all for the better. When DRG’s came to be nursing became unrecognizable. As with most things that Big Brother messes with it swings way too far to the left. For sure there were things that could be changed {always is} but there is a middle. Too few people get too much power and this is what ya get.
We did back rubs and offered comfort measures to any patient in need [yes patients not clients]. Do you suppose some costs could be cut from the other end????
I’m not whining about the work… I knew going in it wouldn’t be easy. I would just like to see nurses go home feeling some sense of satisfaction for the care they gave not praying no one dies because I couldn’t get to something.
I was working a few years ago as a floor nurse when I got a call from ER saying I was getting an admission. I explained that I couldn’t take report on another pt and they would need to hold the pt in ER or call someone in, That didn’t go over well and the next morning the DON said you can’t refuse to take an admission. I reminded her of the Nursing practice which allows us to decline any position that we feel we can’t safely comply with. I asked her if I took the new assignment knowing that my hands were already full with the 10 I had and something went wrong would she go to court with me and testify that I was forced to accept the assignment or take responsibility to the family for a wrongful death. She replied with You know the answer to that.
If all nurses would stand together we could improve this situation a bit. I know it is unpopular for a nurse to walk away but if you think about it, pts would be transferred to other hospitals for proper care. Realistically are todays patients really getting the care they deserve? When I have a family member in the hospital I stay with them. Guess what, I don’t get a break in cost for the private duty service.
I can’t remember ever wanting any other career. I was called to nursing at a young age and I treasure the experience but it would have been more gratifying to me and those in my care if I could have taken the time needed to truly enhance their lives.
God bless those in the medical field whatever you do.
Just wanted to say that I have been a nurse for almost 30 years, the earlier ones spent in the hospital setting. I can empathize with those feelings that you have about going to work, I experienced them too.I have spent the last 24 years in home health or hospice nursing though, and I can honestly say that I have never felt that way about this type of nursing.Maybe you should consider making a change in where you work.Good Luck to you!
I am with you all!! Especially no name anonymous who was most disheartened by her own nursing coworkers who sought out management positions only to turn on their own professional staff, imposing policies they are exempt from.
I never worked in a hospital with a union, because I had my manager speaking up for me. That does not exist in nursing anymore. I have never seen such a reversal in Nursing voice and support in my 30yr carreer as in the last 5yrs. Intimidation, nurses afraid to speak up about safe staffing concerns, being pulled to units they are not qualified to work in, being pushed to work faster, harder, and increase their nurse patient ratio.
It is a DISGRACE. All I can say is, take care of yourself, find a better nursing position, move on. Cause The Budget, and bonuses that go to those who improve bottom dollar by cutting staffing will trump nursing satisfaction and patient safety every time. Magnet shmagnet…we were even intimidated over our own nursing satisfaction survey! Lol
I’m an RN and worked 12-hour night shifts. It’s totally inhumane. I had to quit. I could have either my sanity or my job. 12-shifts are miserable, and staffing is miserable. So happy to be out of that job, even if it means I’ll be broke. I’ll probably never go back.
You Are So Right. I Don’t Know How You Do It. You Are Truly Angels Of Mercy. Anyone who Does Not Respect Your Profession,Does Not Deserve To Be Cared for By Any Of You. Don’t Get Me Wrong I Have Been Catrd For By Nurses Who Don’t Give A Shit About Their Work It’s Just a Job To Them, But The Ones That Care More Then Make Up For It. Yes Thei Familys Do suffer, They Miss Their Wives Or Husbands And Children, And For That They Are Underpaid. I Could Go On For Hrs. Don’t Even Get Me Started About The Money Grabbing Hospitals And The Ones Who Don’t Pay Their Own Way.
What a wonderful post. Thanks.
I am a retired surgeon. Nurses are the workers who were most responsible for my patients’ recovery. Many others, like lab techs, radiologic techs, PT, OT, etc. are also essential. NO PATIENT WAS EVER MADE WHOLE AGAIN by an administrator! Paper pushers and bean counters are killing patient care! I told each of my children NOT to become a health care professional. I retired at 56 because administrators were KILLING ME.
Thank you for making this comment. I agree
Not to mention the days that you are too busy for a break or it is spent doing paperwork so you can leave on time. You spend your day focused on keeping people’s fluids up and watching their bowels.. Only to get home and realise you did go to the toilet or hydrate yourself all day.
To those saying that you shouldn’t be in this profession.. We could easily earn more doing less but we chose not to. Not every nurse is passionate about the cushy stuff. I think we all have those days and it is not a complaint.. It is a reality and it is balanced out with the rewards of doing something meaningful. It is a great job but a hard one and the writer has expressed one of those many tough days which me need to support each other through.
Yes, I felt all those feelings and then some. CNA’s are under the say gun as well. Unfortunately, a nurses union only means the people who initiate the contact are the ones that are fired first. So many are underpaid, under appreciated and overworked and big corporations turn a blind eye because their bottom line is dollar signs.
First I want to say thank you for being a nurse, we all deserve and have earned thanks. I have been several things in my healthcare career starting with an EMT. I am currently an educator but not before spending many years on the road for EMS and as a Med/Surg nurse and then an ER nurse. I have done more than my fair share of nights, weekends, and holidays. I have seen, smelled, and heard things no one else should ever have to have in their memories forever. I still remember the first child who I watched die in my arms from a MVA, I still have nightmares. It is a calling, not everyone can do this job with all that we do and go through. I know of no other area other than healthcare that does not take lunch or go to the bathroom because someone needs them. I say all of healthcare because if you work in healthcare we all sacrifice for the good of the patient. The last thing we need to do is separate ourselves by what work we do because we ALL work for the patient or the family’s well being. In the last 20 years I have had Thanksgiving with my family twice but the date does not matter, I am thankful that I CAN have dinner and see my family. I love what I do and I am what I do, I define myself as a nurse. I could never think of doing anything else not to mention that there are so many avenues to walk in healthcare you could never get bored, simply switch your path. I would encourage anyone to become a nurse if that is what they want and are called to do. When I discuss nursing with people I tell them the good, the bad, and the ugly. I make sure they understand it is for that one patient or family member whose life I might change for the better or touch at the most vulnerable moment, this is why I am a nurse, this is why I am in healthcare.
Nursing is not a choice, it’s a profession that chooses you. I am ending my 6 year career in college and ems to joint the workforce As a nurse in May. There is nothing that has told meets is going to be easy, instead it is and has challenged me every step of the way. In no other place have I found more reward in caring for patients in every walk of life, ems is great, however the amount of time you have face time is very limited in my neck of the woods. Many of my friends that are in ems say they are going in nursing for the monetary compensation, these are the ones who are going into it for the wrong reason and will cause a Tarnished name for nursing. Remember why you went to this field for a career, take your mental health days and above all educate family and friends who don’t understand why we have to work these crazy schedules, because if we aren’t there some one else is in our place in the same situation. Nursing doesn’t stop at 5pm, m-f it’s a 24/7/365 aleway need a nectar few hours in your day field. Always has been always will be. I am ready for this sacrifice and ready to touch peoples lives in THEIR time of need. My family understands because most of them work in the medical field already. Help to remind them that if they are in need of the emergency room that this is why we are missing out on a “holiday”. A day that can move to a day prior like I have for years, it’s a day not a deadline. When you set it up for a day when the family is all together guilt free than that is a holiday. God bless all of you nurses, student nurses and medical professionals!!!
My husband survived lung cancer for 4 years before it mets to his brain. When it came time for Christmas, and of course it was my year to work it, not one co-worker offered to work for me. We all knew it would be his last Christmas. I will never forget this and vow to always offer to work for a co-worker who needs a day off, no matter what the day.
Please remove me from this blog:) way too many emails. Thank you
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Wow. I am proud to be a nurse and I am thankful for this post where people have been allowed to vent and communicate the good, bad and ugly. It helps each of us to know we do not stand alone- we need to work together, standing side by side to create the environment we want to work in.
I am a tech in the OR and there is always that day where you just want to stay in bed. Our schedule is always swamped and with some of the devastating outcomes for a procedure you just can’t always hold it inside. However we are so short staffed that my coworkers have to deal with the slack that will never be cut because I take a day for myself. So when I say that I need time for me and can’t make it to family dinner it is only because I have been around too many sick patients all week and need sometime to sit on my butt without kids crying in my face like my other five days. And when I’m on call it is fair we all are on call, if you aren’t in the medical field then don’t try to understand it you probably never will and don’t say you do, it only makes us feel more upset. I love my job and how I help people just the parents that don’t help their children is devastating and frustrating. We all care and that is why we do what we do just give us all a break so,etimes because the hospitals never do.
Good blog. I couldn’t agree more. I am a resource nurse who floats to 5 different hospitals and works 12 hour night shifts. I see my fair share of different kinds of patients and work in a variety of different heath care settings. Some are more difficult than others but they are all physically and emotionally taxing. As nurses we play so many different roles. We are nurses, psychiatrists, cooks, housekeepers, respiratory therapists(when they are busy), etc. Sometimes it so hard just to do the nursing aspect and get your medications passed on time and make sure everyone is dry and turned. I go home everyday wondering what I forgot to do, forgot to chart, who I didn’t spend enough time with, what I forgot to say in report, etc. I try to leave work at work but it is impossible. Sometimes I just have to have a good cry after work to release the stress. But over the demanding and physical part of nursing, the emotional aspect of patients treating you like crap is the worst for me. Sometimes I just wish I could say what was on my mind to them but you can’t. I have to sit there and smile and take it to a certain degree. Some people are very angry in this world and take it out on nurses. Overall I do love my job and wouldn’t do anything else. My husband wishes I would sometimes because he feels like I am less compassionate than I used to be but I think that comes with the territory. I do have those days that I have to call in for a “mental health day” but generally that is understood where I work. I also have to admit I do have an occasional wish someone would rear end me on the way to work so I don’t have to go. Once I get to work though those feelings change (unless it’s a crappy assignment) and I’m glad I’m there to take care of those patients that need us.
To Connie
I pray you have more compassion for yourself and your daughter. I hope you did not tell her to “suck it up.” She needs your love and a empathetic ear in order to care for herself and her patients. Some day you may be a patient and I hope you are cared for by someone who has SUPPORTIVE people surrounding them – ones who are encourage to Safely decompress and take care of themselves. Shalom!
I know and understand nurses work very very hard. But let us not forget many other professions that are difficult or have their “days” for various reason. I know teachers who work inner city..their “hours” are 8-3..that they get pd for…but their hours are 7am-5pm, then 7/8pm-sometimes 10pm.-, weekends, vacations. Teachers can’t do lesson plans, correct papers, contact parents, social workers etc on their 45 min “prep” time.
People going into these demanding professions know what they are “getting themselves into”. Teachers, nurses, or other medical related field, fire fighters working 5 days on, people that work with mentally and physically handicap-where 24 hour care is required.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for ALL of these professionals. None of which get the recognition and appreciation they should!
And I am not the patient who keeps the call light on. hahahahhaa. I am very self sufficient. I do things on my own. I have had a lot of problems with nurses. Bringing up the wrong patient when I was at my Dr’s. appointment. They all take blood pressure different. But the nurses are the only ones I hear that complain about there jobs.. also teachers. And when they give those babys a shot they stab them with the needle. How would u like to be stabbed? Those needles are sharp enough u don’t need to stab them. I get shots and I am not stabbed!. Ohh and the nurses who don’t know how to draw blood. Let the Phlebotomist do it or better yet go take some more lessons.
You know we have men fighting for our country and being out in the hot dessert carrying an 80lb backpack with full army gear with no air conditioning and they get paid little and I never heard them complain.
Susan, the fact that you never heard any soldiers complain doesn’t mean they don’t complain.
Now, as to your own complaints: did you ever ask a nurse about those concerns of yours? I might be able to enlighten you a bit.
First, I’m going to let you in on a litte secret: Nurses do make mistakes, just like anyone else does. We try not to, but it’s easy to pull out the wrong chart, or call the patient by the wrong name, when you have several to worry about, and don’t know any of them personally. It’s why we’re taught to look at two identifiers before doing any procedure. If it happens to you, just correct the nurse, and realize that s/he’s not doing it on purpose.
We don’t “stab” babies. But we do have to get that needle in, the medicine injected, and the needle out, as quickly as possible, because the baby’s impulse is to start kicking as soon as s/he feels that needle. You think the “stabbing” (as you call it) is painful? Try kicking your leg with a needle stuck in it. Mind you, I sympathize if you have small children that you’ve watched when they’re getting a shot. It’s no fun watching your baby burst into tears, and it’s even less fun being the cause of those tears. But it has to be done—and we do it as quickly and easily as we possibly can.
As for the “nurses who don’t know how to draw blood”: it’s not a matter of “tak(ing) more lessons.” It’s a matter of getting experience. Those nurses who are wizards at drawing blood and starting IVs weren’t born with that skill. They acquired it, little by little, and had their share of failures as well as successes. Keep in mind, too, that not everyone’s veins are easy to access. And it doesn’t make the job any easier when the patient cops an attitude about it.
Interesting that you have a problem with nurses complaining to each other, but don’t even try to hold back on your own complaints. Why is that? Do you feel that they’re less entitled than you are to speak their minds freely?
I never thought ther was anyone else who really feels the why I do about nursing. I really felt emotional reading this blog. You hit the nail on the head. Thank God for a nurse
At age 50 I had never spent any time as a patient in a hospital until last September. I had surgery on a Tuesday and left the following Friday. I have several friends that are nurses and heard all the complaints. Until I saw it for myself I never had a real appreciation for the hard work nurses do. I can never put into words what my nurses meant to me the few days I was there. God bless you for ALL you do.
Great article!!! I’ve been a nurse 37 yrs and my family quickly learned to live by my calendar. Thank God for a wonderful husband that had a straight schedule and children who KINDA understood. I still and will continue to swap whenever possible to help others get time off. We MUST help each other. Nursing IS a hard job but SO THANKFUL for being able to do it.
Great post. This kind of thing needs to be said more- nurses have it tough, in a real, deep way. I went on prozac after 5 of my patients died in a month (cancer, mostly). I had no support at work- my coworkers were all swamped, too. I went to the employee counseling people (not all companies have employee counseling, so I suppose I was lucky), and they told me I needed to ‘see a professional’. Um, what are YOU? I had to go off the prozac when I started wanting to kill myself. I don’t hate being a nurse, but I hate the job. I hate all the bullshit. I hate being overworked, I hate the lack of support, I hate the hours, I hate the way the higher-ups treat us. I hate the whole racket the educational requirements have become. I would LOVE to get out. I don’t know what else I would do, at this point. I’m still on that journey. But I always strongly discourage people from going into nursing. They never listen- but I try.
I have worked as a Unit Assistant in hospitals for almost 24 yrs. I also work 12 hr. shifts, every other weekend, and holidays. I hate it. I work a mix of day shifts and night shifts. So many people do not understand how hard this schedule is-yes its “only” 3 days a week, but I never recover, and I have missed so much in my kids lives because of it. Nurses work so hard and such long hours, but remember the support staff too. We work hard trying to do all we can to make the nurses jobs just a little easier. Over the years I have been asked many times, “Why aren’t you a nurses?”, my answer is always the same-“I have seen that job and I don’t want it.” I admire all that nurses do and I thank them for the excellent care I know they give, even on the hardest days. I just wish people would acknowledge that they don’t do it all on their own.
I have been a nurse 28 years and would not have been happy anywhere else. Long hours, exhaustion, loneliness because of missing family functions, all of these are true, so true; but, I would not have been as happy doing anything else.
This sort of scares me, plus my daughter is in nursing school.
I won’t let my daughter do nursing lol I told her to pick another profession
As a nurse I hear you. You could not have put it any better
great blog post! we are working way too hard due to unfair hospital policies on nurse to patient ratios. the result is nurses who can’t give the quality of care that they would love to give to the patients who need us.
YOU COVERED IT ALL. WISH THIS COULD BE SENT TO ALL THE CEO’S OF HOS[ITALS AND NURSING HOMES.GREAT JOB.
I agree with everything you said and then some. I became a nurse 33 years ago, and basically only had about 7 years where nursing was nursing. Then, it suddenly became about paperwork, 12 hour shifts, and short staffing. I was taught the primary care model in nursing school, and hospitals take that to mean: the nurse takes care of five patients that used to belong in ICU, but are now on medical floors. The nurse passes meal trays and empties trash, and basically needs roller skates and puts out fires all day. I worked with a nurse a few years ago that cried every shift, and she was not new or young. I am retired due to I had made a foray into home health, where a nurse could take her time and treat the patient. Then, a couple of years ago, the government stepped in and created a tool to prevent fraud. It only causes more fraud, because the facilities won’t allot enough time for the nurse to ask the patient the questions, so the nurse has to lie. I quit when the employers started asking for more lies. Now, I teach part-time at a BSN program, and like the teaching part, but do NOT like lying to the students that nursing is a rewarding profession where you can actually care for patients.
Thank you love a hard working labor and delivery nurse!!!!
I received my nursing degree at the young age of 49…it was something that I always wanted to do, just didn’t have the means to do it. I’ve been a nurse for 4 1/2 years and love every minute of it. I work oncology, it is demanding, patients are really sick and like so many of you we are expected to do more with less. Our patient care techs rock and are truly underpaid! If I make a difference in my patients’ lives for the 12+ hours I put in each shift, then I’ve done my job and feel great for it. This population of patients truly appreciate everything we do for them…for they aren’t there electively…they are there fighting for their lives. I’m not saying every shift is a great shift, but every day that I get to take care of someone because I AM A NURSE, is a day that I’ve always longed to do. Hang in there my brothers and sisters of nursing…we have to have each others backs and support one another. God Bless each and every one of you and all other medical personnel.
“The only people who can understand this are nurses.” EXCUSE ME?! It occurs on a regular basis that “NURSES” conveniently forget that they are NOT the only hard working, college educated associates in the hospital. How about Pharmacists, Nuc Med Technologists, Respiratory Therapists, and Radiologic Technologists?! You don’t think they “understand”? Nurses need to get over themselves and acknowledge that they are not alone. The rest of us sacrifice holidays with our families, kids soccer games, and sleep, on a regular basis, too. So I kindly request that the next time a “nurse” suggests that they are the hardest working, only educated people, and only units purposely understaffed in a hospital, you all think twice and remember that nurses are important, but they can’t do ANYTHING without help from the rest of us.
I know exactly what the person who posted this post on facebook means. I am not a nurse but have been a auxiliary nurse for nearly 27 years and come end of February this year 25 years full time. I have come in on a late shift only to go home and come back and do a night shift as one of my collagues is ill and there was noone qualified to assist the qualified member l have come in to cover. It is a hard job and very stressful at times.
This is true of so many jobs. I would with autism children all day. Talk about emotional and exhausting. But I love it. If ur complaining about ur job then I suggest u do somthing different!
As the husband of a Nurse I have seen the toll it has taken in so many ways to my wife and her colleagues. As I write this she is hundreds of km’s away working travel nursing contracts because there are no jobs where we have chosen to live.
When governments try to say they are “hiring more nurses than ever” I make a point to remind friends and family that is political BS since its only casual or part time at best so they can hold down costs and not have to pay benefits while the CEO’s and CFO’s are pulling salaries in excess of 200-thousand.
Nurses are truly angels I have seen my wife sob after losing patients and have heard her stories of saving lives.
They are the backbone of our health care system but unfortunately seems like they are treated like a disposable entity since another year of new grads will take their place/job in a heartbeat.
I truly understand, I recently was fortunate enough to be able to quit after 37 years as an RN in a small rural hospital. The experience was rewarding, frustrating, exhausting, encouraging, demoralizing, emotionally draining.
The newer grads starting do not seem to be aware of the sacrifice they will make. Missed games, dinners, plays, holidays to name a few. Possibly a misrepresentation during training but the deer in the headlight look they give when they find most generally they start on nights, tells the story all to well.
Would I go back? To help the people I was able to help…yes, yet the the abuse, disrespect, underpaid overtime shifts I pulled was enough for me to steer my 2 girls away from nursing. They were on the short end of the stick most often.
I certainly understand and praise your courage in posting your blog.
I am an RN working in Home Care in Ontario Canada what you write is so true. I have missed soccer games, football games, school outings all because I had to work & couldn’t find someone to replace me. I too have been hit, had a full urinal thrown on me by an HIV pt. Now I am at then end of my career & I feel very ambivalent about it. I will miss it but maybe not so much, maybe just sad because I missed so much of my children’s lives that I will never be able to get back.
I get it. I really do. Oncology nurse of 20 years and love it. I also totally and completely get your post. Well done
We are in the mess we are in because we have all chosen to put up with it. we dont even support each other.
I read your blog as a link from another RN. I just want to say remove nurse insert cashier at the Stop n Go, policeman, fireman, lineman, garbage man, doorman etc. You get the picture. At least you’re paid very well for your services. Really stop feeling sorry for yourself or leave the profession. I’m pretty sure your patients would thank you.
The pay is not enough for the things nurses have to deal with. You can insert other public service members (police and fire personnel) but not other jobs where peoples lives depend on you being able to do your job.
Not sure how often people at Stop N Go administer life saving meds that can kill you if too strong or two weak, do CPR, risk lawsuits even if everything goes well and still have to serve people even if they are screaming at you and the police are there. So no, you can’t insert any job. Sure, people like police officers, firemen/first responders, and ems/dispatchers have some idea of what we do, it’s still not our job. Nor do I ever pretend to know what cops go through. I see a little bit when they have to bring people in or respond to our angry/psychotic patient/family members.
But, I do it for that patient I CAN help, the one’s I educate, connect with. I do it for the smile on the face of a child who’s glad it didn’t hurt as much as they feared because we talked about it and I eased that fear.
That doesn’t mean I don’t need to let off steam and bitch every now and again. Seriously, people saying these things are exactly why it’s even harder than it should be to DO our job.
And I’d like to add that I started nursing getting paid 9 bucks an hour as a CNA. I ran from the beginning of my shift to the end of it. I was never NOT exhausted when I left work. When I elevated to LPN I made 11 bucks an hour. And when I started my RN job I made 15 bucks an hour. Well paid? Ha! Now that I have 10+ years of experience I’m getting closer to being more appropriately paid. But I still work 12 hour shifts with no 30 minute lunches or breaks that are anything close to what OSHA requires, yet, are unpaid. SO I work a little for free every shift.
I have been a nurse for 16 years this week. 14 yrs in ICU. I love the job and always say nurses do not do enough of self care.
Nursing is a rewarding job yet also a back breaking, heart wrenching,emotionally draining job.. the worst part is that no one whho is not a nurse will never understand what we do…….
I found this post to be very enlightening. My mother is a nurse. I’ve watched her cry at night and drink away her sorrows. I’ve seen stay up all night and cook food for her patients who she knew didn’t have a thanksgiving dinner. I never saw my mom on most holidays. She never took me trick or treating, we didn’t spend Christmas together. Sea never has a Mother’s Day off. I’ve seen her health decline as she works 13 days on two off. I never hear her complain. I never see her cry in front of patients who she knows are dying. She has the biggest heart in all the world and se loves being a nurse even if going to kill her. She doesn’t report back aches or any problem for that matter she sucks It up but she does call in sometimes for ” sick ” days which I know is her way her of just relaxing because she just too tired physically, emotionally, mentally and spritually. So thank you each and ever nurse who dedicates their lives to saving others. I missed my mom growing up but there isn’t any better feeling than knowing my mom is a hero. So to all the nurses just know someone out there thinks you are a hero. Belinda Wood your my hero and my mother and a really good nurse!
I am a qualified nurse on a psychiatric intensive care unit.
I am concerned about what I can even say because of the potential ramifications.
If a nurse tells me they have had a hard day I don’t judge. I listen, support and advise because I have walked in those shoes.
And until you have then negative unconstructive comments mean nothing, and the truth is I discard those comments as ignorant and Ill informed. A lion does not care what a sheep thinks.
I do not even know how to describe how hard my job is, and my vocabulary is extensive. It’s because there is no easy aspect of the job. I can’t tell you about my day to day working shift because every day is different, and in a heartbeat the shift can change. In the past three months I have had colleagues with broken bones, colleagues fired, colleagues suspended, colleagues off with depression, colleagues who have been sexually assaulted, and needlestick injures. all work related. Any one saying you choose that you should just suck it up needs educating, it is like saying that soldiers should be shot, we are all aware of the risks and dangers and hardships of the job but wé do not expect to suffer them every minute of our working day.
Nurses have lives built on the income that is provided, due to that limited income most nurses live hand to mouth. Any disruption to this and their lives, families, homes are all put at risk. This in it’s self is not a problem, but any small complaint will often see a nurse suspended, during this period a nurse will normally be paid however the effect of the anxiety and shame and the inability to discuss the complaint is devastating to that nurses life. Often the complaint has it’s origins in the management or organisational culture, however they like to be able to hold a person accountable and nurses are comparatively cheap to replace. In the increasing litigious environment nurses work in (I had a patient come in who would write everything in a book and when she saw a nurse do somthing wrong or that she could complain about, she would circle somthing the compensation would buy her in an Argos catalog) nurses are forced to work defensively.
Working and nursing defensively is the practice of sticking by the policies and procedures, documenting everything, not stepping outside of your job role. This might sound great to those who have no access to the policies and procedures. However what this means is no conversation with patients except around their illness, no warmth, no comforting, no going the extra mile. No allowing visitors outside of visiting times even if it might be the last time. No comforting of relatives (give them a careers leaflet = box ticked).
The trust’s we work for are paid for a level of service, the trusts do not like it when nurses provide a service that the trust is not being paid for. The level of service paid for is very specific. When you go on to a ward and are greeted by a warm friendly sympathetic caring nurse, That is all the nurse, it is not down to a trust’s care provision.
The trust’s main aims are to collate measurable data which prove that they are providing the care that they are paid to provide this is affectionately known as bums in beds. I do not blame trusts as they are operating off of business models, I just disagree with this being the way forward. I do not think that health care and penny pinching go hand in hand, but if they do they should not blame nurses when things go wrong. It’s a tough way to earn a living and nurses have my sympathy.
Very well said. I totally agree. I have been a nurse for 23 1/2 yrs. From trauma ICU, ED, then a triage nurse for a busy clinic. The people that thinks 9 to 5 means just that. But its not. I thought clinic would be easy, but it is as time consuming and stressful…just a different kind. I have 5 sons almost raise themselves becsuse of the long hours, weekends, and holidays that I worked. I would go to work, and leave my sick child at home to take care of themself…only to take care of many children that was not near as sick as my child at home. When I apologize for leaving them, they respond by saying “I’proud of you, besides they needed you worse.” I find it to be a bad parent that my boys could cook, clean, and take care of themselves before age 8. But it realy made me feel good when one of them would come home to say “one of my friends said thank you for taking care of them.” “You made it less stressfulI.” I love being a nurse, and I understand when you talk about all the negative things we have to endure. But it is the appreciative patients that make us stay. And, we dont appreciate the fact that we have such restrictions on staffing, that we can’t take care of the patients the way we want to…down to the patient with a simple cold. So if anyone thinks what you said is negative….they are in denial.
Thank you Kristina Krampe, ppl don’t realize….especially if they have never had a nurse in the family. I’m a NICU nurse, and I just would like to thank you.
Bless you for recognizing your coworker. I am a nurse too. Sometimes I wish I had never become a nurse, and the rest of the time I can’t imagine my life any other way. Thank you for all you do….
BTW.. WE CAN NOT eliminate anyone in the health profession. RN, LPN, CNA, CMA, residents doctors, MD attendings, Paramedics, firefighters, and police officers.
After reading all the replies, I was moved to add my own comments. I like Brenda Combs trained quite a few years ago, also when we had time to do the “‘small things” for our patients that meant so much-a backrub, a conversation, a touch on the arm…I was out of the profession for several years raising a family and traveling around the world, and must admit that when I went back for a refresher course and entered the profession again, I was appalled at how bad things had become.
I like another poster became a Community Nurse and must admit that this is a much better fit-I can do the little things and can take a moment to just talk to my patients. I meet their families, I hear their stories and it enriches my life.
I love this profession but it is a tough one, hard on the nurse, hard on their families….I think we all need to support each other for doing a job that few can or will do….
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