The Effects of Nursing on Nurses
Hi, welcome to my blog post. I have never had a blog post get more than 50 comments, so I am a bit overwhelmed. After responding to many comments, here is a note:
Note: I wrote this blog entry at the end of my 3rd 12 hour shift in three days. I was tired and I was emotional. It is a blog post, not an “article.” It is not researched or sourced, it is purely opinion.
The point of this post is that nurses (and many other professions) need to take the time to practice self care and to encourage one another to practice self care.
My biggest mistake in this post (and there are many) was to use “her” or “she” when I should have used “they” or them.” I ignored my male coworkers, and I should not have. You have my apologies, and I have corrected the post. I have left “she” and “her” in place in the portion where I talk about my coworker.
I have read every comment posted and deleted some very nasty comments that were not helpful to conversation. If you feel this is the place to spew your vitriol, it is not.
August 11, 2013
This morning, while I was giving report to the day shift nurse taking over my patients, she burst into tears.
She’s going to miss her children’s hockey play offs due to our strictly enforced every other weekend schedules. You work every other weekend, no more, no less, unless you are going to college (I work every weekend because I’m in college). She’s their hockey coach, and inevitably, each year, their last game falls on a day their mother has to work. I’ve come in early for her before.
So I offered to come in on my night off for an hour and a half so she could get to the game. I’m coming in that early because I know she won’t be done charting.
She turned me down until another day RN got involved. I reminded my coworker I only live a mile from the hospital, and it really wasn’t a big sacrifice for me. She finally agreed, and calmed down. We got permission from the charge nurse.
Nursing is one of the largest professions in the world. If you don’t know a nurse, I’m really surprised. Nurses talk a lot about the rewards of nursing. Catching that vital sign, saving lives, providing comfort, but nurses, by nature, are taught to martyr themselves on the altar of nursing.
When I was a new grad, I hated coming to work so much that I would wish I’d get hit by a car on my way to work just to get out of work. One night, while checking medication sheets, I confessed this to some experienced nurses and found out some of them still felt the same way.
In nursing, it is NORMAL to have days where you wake up and just can’t mentally and emotionally face the day at work. I swear, the only other people who can understand this are nurses.
Nursing is emotionally, physically and mentally taxing, and some days you run too low on what you can give emotionally, physically and mentally. That minor back injury you don’t want to report to HR because you don’t want it on your record. Having a patient with constant diarrhea who can’t get out of bed and needs to be physically rolled and cleaned several times an hour. The cold you got from the two-year old someone brought in. The sorrow that comes from supporting someone who has just found out they were dying, holding in your own tears so you could wipe theirs. In one day, all of those patients could be yours.
I don’t know a nurse who hasn’t taken a mental health day. Some do it by requesting more vacation than others. Some do it by calling in sick, but it’s all time off because we are too drained to give anymore.
So if you know a nurse, and that nurse mentions to you that they feel like calling in because they just can’t take it another day, don’t give them a hard time. Especially if you have an 8-5 job with weekends off or some other really great schedule. The 12 hour shifts nurses work mean we miss the entire holiday we work with our families. Night shift nurses have to choose between holiday dinners or sleep. Often, if a nurse chooses to sleep rather than go to the holiday dinner, guilt ensues. Even though I’ve told my mother-in-law repeatedly that every nurse has to work holidays, she makes a point to say how horrible it is my husband has to be alone for a few hours. What about me? Working my ass off while everyone else celebrates?
We work hard. We are intentionally understaffed by our hospitals to improve profit, even if the hospital is a non-profit. We help people at the worst times of their lives, and often have no way to debrief, to get it off our chests. We don’t just bring warm blankets and pills. We are college educated, degreed professionals who are often treated like uneducated, lazy servants. We get sexually harassed by our patients. We get groped, punched, cut, I even know of a nurse on my floor being strangled (she survived).
Nursing can be rewarding. But nursing is a fucking hard job. If you are afraid of healthcare rationing, you should know it is already happening. Nurses are unable to give everyone the care they need, so patients with smaller problems may not get the same level of care. A nurse may be pressed to only give the minimum amount of care to a patient if they have 5 or more very sick patients. If you don’t want healthcare rationing, talk to your local hospitals about their nurse to patient ratios. Talk to your doctors. If you hear of legislation to support nurse to patient ratios, vote for it. Support it.
So if a nurse needs a day off, you support them. If you’re in a position to help like I was this morning, do so. If you are a nurse, go easier on yourself when you think about the things you didn’t finish, or the things you should have said. It’s a 24-hour a day job and you don’t have to do it alone.
As of January 27, 2014, this post is no longer accepting comments. I am doing this as a practice of self care. Tending to this blog post, several times a day, has become a burden. It has had over 2 million hits, and I am tired. The post has become a platform for people who want to propel their own agendas and are using my space to do so. Thanks to all who said such nice things, and to everyone else, go write your own blog.
Posted on August 11, 2013, in Nursing and tagged Health care, Nursing, registered nurse. Bookmark the permalink. 2,612 Comments.
ofcourseitsaboutyou 
Excellently put! And exactly why I consider myself blessed to have only put in less than 2 years’ hospital work as an RN. I thank God every day I work a clinic job now and probably won’t ever go back to the hospital unless necessary! Hospital Nurses are Hardcore and I commend you all! I used to work as an aide in an Oregon ICU up til 2003 when 12 hour shifts were voluntary because they were “testing” them. Nurses couldn’t get their jobs done in 8 hours and that’s how they enticed them! Now 12 hour shifts are easily 13 sometimes 14, and the charting has tripled! More time for less patient care, good luck nurses! Do what u can do and get out! Stand up for less patients to nurse it’s probably the only hope!
How very true. I worked shiftwork in a large teaching hospital for nearly 20 years and I swear I couldn’t do it again. I still remember one night shift when a patient I had nursed for many weeks committed suicide. I wasn’t up to coming in the following night and the Administrators tried to make me feel guilty. WTF!!!
Yes I am a nurse. I have also been a waitress, an office worker, a paper carrier, and a factory worker. I will have to say that nursing is the toughest job I have ever had to do. But it is also the most rewarding. I have to teach and all too frequently to those who do not want to learn and are difficult students. I have to know what are the correct treatments for most common medical problems, the medications that need to be given and what is proper dosing without having gone to medical school because the government has decided that it is my job to make sure that the doctors are doing what they are suppose to be doing. I am also held legal responsible if I give the wrong med or dose even if it IS what the doctor ordered. I have to be counselor and mental health to those in my care.
I was in school to be an engineer. A birth defect took away my scholarship and changed my career direction. I never studied as an engineering student the way I had to study as a nursing student. And no test made me sick the way my nursing boards did.
As for not mentally challenging, try calculating drip rates on a critical patient or dosages on a newborn. Or when you call the doctor, and they are asking you what to do because they are stumped. And chosing when and which medication to give from a list of as needed medications or when and how much to titrate that medication maintaining a patients life. Or having to decide when it is time to override the nurse practitioner or doctor. Every medication on every patient has to be decided on every time.
Do I hate my job? Sometimes when the patient cusses me out or a doctor or fellow nurse makes me cry. Do I love my job? YES! It is rewarding and challenging and fulfilling. And I would never want to be anything else.
Amen!! Nicely put. It is important for people to realize this as I just got written up and put on probation for three months as I called in because I was “in the same hospital admitted” that I was suppose to work in that night. Go figure.
Thank you for all that you do! I don’t know how this could upset anyone so I’m sorry if you’ve gotten hurtful comments. That’s not cool. I had a preemie in NICU for two months so I came to know a nurses lives more than I did before and they are some of my heroes. Also, my grandmother was one 🙂
I just wanted to through in my two cents on this topic. I am just a nurse’s aide, and this job is very taxing mentally. Imagine standing by the telemonitor and seeing a heart rate of 210. I was in a patients room where this happened and the Cardiologist instructed the nurse to administer a drug that stops the heart for I think 6 seconds. I was nervous because I kept thinking, “what if the heart does not start up again? Should I have a crash cart ready just in case?” I was fairly new to this procedure. I just want you non nurses to have a sense of the things nurses might encounter in just one shift. If I say something incorrectly then you veteran nurses feel free to correct me please. The RN can not push the drug too quick nor too slow. Imagine standing by the monitor as you see the monitor ding rapidly and louder than usual because your patient has gone asystole.
Another mentally stressful situation, is seeing on the monitor all the numbers indicating the heart will soon stop completely. Any second now you are going to have to yell for help, since you work in the ICU and code blues are not broadcasted as in the rest of the hospital. Here is where you have to rely immensely on your co-workers. I have seen nurses and respiratory therapist drop what they are doing, if able to, to go help. The code can last an hour or more. The nurses that have left their patients will check on them every few minutes and come back to help by either writing what drugs are being given along with the does and the time given or helping with chest compressions. The techs are lining up to give chest compressions. The norm is at least two minutes of chest compression each, but that itself can get you wheezing for air, so you yell over you shoulder, “WHO EVERS NEXT GET READY!!!!” The doctor is yelling, “Another dose of Epi. NOW!” Or the doctor wants to make sure that the chest compressions are good enough that the patient’s extremities are perusing so we check the femoral artery while someone is still doing chest compressions. Not an easy task since the pulse might be weak and chest compressions could be confused for a pulse. When we take a CPR class were are told to beat the patients heart 100 beats per minute. That is crazy, but that is a normal heart rate, and if we don’t do it fast enough then some parts of the body will go without oxygen and die, that includes the brain. I have also had nuses tell me that if you don’t brake any ribs while doing the chest compressions you are not doing it right. Try to picture yourself doing chest compressions and feeling bones or cartlige cracking under your hands. I was in my first ever code the patient did not make it after 1 hour of coding him.
I have also been in a room where a code was taking place, and the Doctor decides to bring in the family. It was one of the hardest things that I ever saw. The patients mother came to see us doing chest compressions on her daughter with a tube in her mouth and an RT bagging her. The mother seemed like a scared rabbit. She wanted to approach her daughter to hold her hand or stroke her head but she was not sure if she was allowed to. I was not sure what I could say to the family to help them. After she observered for about 3 or 5 minutes she told us to stop with tears streaming down her face. The charge nurse at that moment put her arms around her and pulled her in to comfort her and brought her closer to her daughter to hold her hand one last time and to tell her daughter she loved her and that it was alright for her to go. Codes in general are physically and mentally exhausting.
Imagine a cardioversion. This procedure is done when the electrical system of the heart is not right. It differs from CPR because the heart has not stopped beating its just not beating right or it may be beating too fast. I do not know this personally but it seems that it hurts very much. The reason I say this is because usually the patien is sedated. The cardiologist, nurse, and an RT must be in the room. The patients heart might stop or the cardiologist and nurse may administer too much seditives to make the patient stop breathing meaning intubation. It could happen. Some bad things can happen during a cardioversion, as I said the heart may stop all together, or the heart goes into a more worse rhythm, or the arrhythmia may continue which could mean heart surgery or permanent heart meds. Usually this involves a high voltage shock. Once again imagine watching as the machine charges up and the patient jumps about 4 inches off the bed. It is incredible the things that go on in hospitals.
All these accounts I have been through, and I have been through so many more. I am a nurse’s aide in the Intensive Care Unit and sometimes I wonder how RNs do it day in day out. I have not had days where I wish I got into an accident to avoid work, but I understand what you mean. Sometimes on my way to work I wish I could just keep driving past the hospital and on to Mexico or any other country. I do like my profession and hope to advance. Thanks for this blog.
My mom is currently in the Hospital, I hear the comments of the visitors about the nurses being lazy or too slow but I know they are busy, trying to cover all the demands of the floor and all the patients, and when they arrive into the room, they wear a smile to greet all who is there, its a difficult job and the ones who choose to do it , do it out of passion even though it is demanding and taxing on their social life. Cheers to all those nurses who take care of our loved ones.
After reading the article about the nurses and what they go through every day. I am not a nurse but my dad had extented stay in the hospital where he died. When we moved from one hospital to one closer to home the nurses who had looked after my dad all said good bye and most were crying. Same at the new hospital when he past. They all took such great care and compassion that we always felt he was in good hands when we left. It was a hard time after my dad past and I tried to express my gratitude to the nurses but you are an emotional wreak. I know they are the unsung heros of the hospital. This year I ended up I the hospital pretty sick but my room mate was in worse shape than me so I tried to help her as much as possible to take slack so the poor nurses were run ragged. They always would post into see how we were doing and if we needed and thing at night when thing slowed down they would stay and visit and thank me for helping my room mate. I can’t say anything against the nurses other than they are under payed and over worked.
I so needed to hear this after the night I had tonight!!
This touched my heart in so many ways. Im not a nurse but i am a cna and have been for the last 5 years. There are some days that i just cant drag myself out of bed because im so tired physically mentally and emotionally drained that i just cant do it. Im forever feeling bad or getting mad at myself for something that i forgot or didnt get done because i was so pressed for time. I want to go to nursing school and get my rn. The times that i get a thank you or holding someones hand as they pass on to the other side or comforting family while their loved ones life is drained from them. That is my reward in it self. I might say i hate my job but i love what i do and love all my residents. I am there family when they have none and they are mine. They become part of your life. You spend so much time with them. Your post was true in every way it really touched my heart and made me want to cry. Thank you for your words and for what you do.
Im a CNA too and this really touched my heart too…I’ve been one for 8 years and there are a lot of days when I hope that I get a call and say I got cancelled or put on call because I’m just so physically and emotionally drained that I feel like I’m actually going crazy and there’s a lot of things that I can’t do with my family because I have to work over night…even though I have told people over a thousand times that I work over night on the weekends they just don’t get it…its very frustrating! I’m the only cna on the floor for 3-4 nights in a row with 25 children/patients and its a lot for 1 cna…I think I need to start taking a vacation every year honestly! I haven’t taken a vaca in 8 years! Thank u for listening to me rant! And I have no one to talk to about this stuff at home and even if I do nobody fully understands what I go through everyday…so I can really appreciate everything u and this woman are saying! Thank u for speaking as a CNA! From one CNA to another I appreciate all of your HARD work!
I have been an RN for over 32 years and still working full time because I need to support my family as a single mom. I know exactly what the author is saying and I want to add about the “dumbing” down of nursing nowadays. With the computerized charting, it tells me how much pain med I can give my pt by the “pain score” , no matter the age, weight of a pt. For eg. A 90 yr old 100 lb lady would get the same amount as a 300 lb 30 year old if both their pain scores were the same!! It eliminates my 30 plus years nursing experience to evaluate my pt. This is just one of many examples of how nurses are being deskilled, dumbed down, disrespected. We are told to respect our patients even if they are the most foul mouthed, abusive aholes you will ever encounter. Yet we will be quickly disciplined for being rude to this very patient!!
We are treated like servants, yet nurses are some of the smartest people I have met. Yes, I use ALL my vacation time and call in sick for mental health days because some days I just can’t bear to go to work because I can’t give what I don’t have. I still like my job but at this point it’s to raise my family and save for retirement. Nursing was more fun 10 years ago before computers made it ‘big brother’ and I feel sorry for new nurses entering the field because it is not any easier. I can go on and on but not enough time
In my experience ten years ago was better because you actually had time to spend with your patients instead of the computer charting and “data entry” that came with it. Actual patient care has suffered with this “advance.”
I have been a RN for 34 years. I would love to do something else if I could. Nursing has changed so much. You never get time to give “bedside” care to your patients anymore. It’s all about the almighty dollar! Employers squeeze every bit of time they can out of us all, not caring if we don’t get breaks or meals. The acuity of the patients is high and the rewards are small. You come home exhausted, stressed and dreading going back the next day. Life is to short to work under those conditions. I will never recommend this profession to anyone. There was once a time I was proud to be a nurse, now I feel like a slave, unappreciated, overworked and underpaid!!! No wonder so many nurses have many types of mental and physical health issues.
Good evening Grimalka and others,
It took me a while to read your blog and all the comments. i can say that I was touched by your writing. No I am not a nurse, but my sister in law is. I have worked along side medical professionals most of my life. But not until the last year did I appreciate them as much as I have in the last year. A year ago we had to place my wonderful mother in a nursing home. She had suffered from Alzheimers for many years and she had had a stroke. My Dad and I could not take are of her. She required total care. For the next 11 months the staff at the nursing home took care of my Mom. I visited my Mom almost every day, but I was also visiting the staff. They were doing something that I couldn’t and I made sure to let them know how much I appreciated them and what they were doing. For the most part they were surprised by my gratitude – which I have to say surprised me and saddened me. And that was one of the many lessons that I have taken away from this last year – and that was to let the people around me know how much I appreciate what they do and more times than not it made their day better. So to you Grimalka and all the nurses and others who do thankless jobs – THANK YOU.
thank you for this.
I’m an acute care RN and you have described the pain and the joy of nursing to a T.
On some days I spend an entire 12 hours literally working every single moment, only pausing to stand in the break room and shove food in my mouth. I can’t get to the bathroom. I can’t drink water. I run and run and run. I have things thrown at me. I get yelled out. I get stuck in the middle of other people’s dysfunction all of the time. Just yesterday I had to request that a patient unclench his fist because I had to finish a dressing and felt like he was about to hit me. I see the saddest stories. I watch people die. I cry for people. I fight for people. I have had so much weight and sadness in my heart and I carry it all, every day. My joints ache. My knees hurt. I have to take tylenol to get through a shift. I spend 14 hours at a time away from my family. Yet I wouldn’t trade this fucking job for anything in the world. I am a nurse. I don’t hate my job, it’s just a really hard job that you have to have a core of steel and a huge heart to be able to do and not go crazy.
So haters gonna hate, but you have no clue if you don’t just give mass respect to all nurses out there and STFU. And you know what, assholes, someday you’ll be in a hospital bed and there will be a nurse who will take care of you, will work hard for you and might save your life. Again, show some respect.
Omg! You have NO idea how much your blog has just made me feel SO much better about myself as a nurse! I’ve recently had a crap time and had to take some sick leave, due to just being mentally drained! I thought maybe i was too weak for the profession i love so dearly! But you have put it in perspective! 🙂 thank you! X
I have been a nurse for over 20 years and most of them in an ED.
You are RIGHT ON!!!!
I wish we could take care of ourselves the same way we take care of others. We put work ahead of our families’ needs many times and I’m alright with it as long we receive the respect we deserve from the people we work with, the patients and hospital’s administration.
I love nursing and I am proud of what I do everyday. There are good and bad days which are the same for all professions. Anne, you are entitled to your opinion, but to talk about nurses in such a demeaning way in this blog knowing other nurses are reading it is wrong. You didn’t realize your comment would provoke anger especially to nurses who are actually hardworking and work in a mentally and physically exhausting healthcare setting? I know that some nurses in outpatient settings, for example, an ambulatory surgery center may not be as skilled as a nurse in an intensive care unit or other critical care settings. It also depends on their years of experience. You based your opinion about nurses in your observation in an outpatient clinic only. There are many different fields of nursing. You seem to deem yourself too high to consider nursing profession because you have a graduate degree in engineering. There are advanced practice registered nurses who hold the same level of degree that you have who were once nurses that worked on the floor and who share the same feelings as GrimalkinRN. You need to stop being so resentful. Life is difficult and not fair. Just because you’re facing or faced financial difficulties with your line of career you feel you have the right to belittle the nursing profession. You mentioned having close friends that are nurses. Well, if they are one of the hardworking ones that you know I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate your comment to GrimalkinRN. You clearly don’t know enough about nursing to have that kind of opinion.
I’m sorry, but this just sounds like a complaint of someone who doesn’t want to work. I’m not a RN, and I too am mentally and physically exhausted from my job. I too wake up and don’t want to go to work, and my company is also understaffed to increase their bottom line. Get over it and quit complanning. Your no different than any other person with a job. If you want sympathy, talk about the people you see dying, or the cps cases you’ve seen where children get hurt. Talk about how you’ve developed relationships with patients and then they pass away. Your arguments in your article are pathetic and sound like someone who can’t muster the strength to work a job. I’m sick of the boo hoo, feel sorry for me attitudes. Everyone hates working, your not special. At least, not for the reasons your listing. My wife is pediatric oncology nurse, and I understand her struggles, but she talks about real problems, and not just this crap your talking about!
Thanks Jay u took the words right out of my mouth thank u
this has to be a put up coment jay.I am a father and grand father of nurses and see them come home full of anguish because the system does allow them to give the patient the care needed then have six hours and back in to it all over again. norm adams
…and Susan A., let’s not pretend it was words he took out of your mouth.
That just means you both are idiots.
It’s not your. It’s you’re.
No it’s your… you’re means you are and pretty sure that is not what he meant .
disabledvetrn – #1 – Your no different than any other person with a job. (You are) #2 – Everyone hates working, your not special. (You are). It is YOU ARE. That is actually what he was intending to mean, but instead put your. I just think it’s funny that the posts that put down nurses seem to have a common theme – lack of education and ignorance
This may sound like a complaint or maybe she is just letting off steam, who knows. On the other hand she has a right to her opinion. As a oncology “team leader” bedside nurse, I see and understand these scenarios everyday. I (my opinion) do not believe she is asking for sympathy. She is only stating the “truth”. The demands that nurses endure these days is almost impossible. Unless you walk in a pair of nurses shoes yourself, I suspect “You” would not understand!!
Jay,
Your a douche! Wait, You’re a douche! I’m now mentally exhausted after reading you’re trash. Hold on, your trash. Such a smart guy, I’m sure you’re a great listener to. Oh good, I got that one right. I’d bet my left nut you couldn’t do my job. I’m sure you’re exhausted after a day mopping the floors and are restful towards nurses since your wife makes more than you but let the girl fucking vent. Does it really affect you? Really?
It’s fucktards like you that give janitors bad names.
Wow! Classy Tobee! And since you’re so keen to correcting grammar, it’s too not to… Sheesh! You act as if you’ve never heard someone with a different opinion than yours! That was a bit psycho, and trashy. I would hate it if you were ever a nurse working with me, I’d have you fired.
This is very rude, I am not a nurse but a CNA and I know exactly what she is saying, I love my job but unless you are in the nursing field you have NO IDEA! I have worked hard my entire life at various jobs but never knew until I started my job at a nursing home how physically, mentally, and emotionally hard it is, also working nights with missing out on everything especially if you have kids and I have three. So unless you truly know, you really don’t have a right to an opinion about this.
Ashley, I just had to say that I value CNAs very much. I am an LVN and have been an NA and a CNA before that. I know first hand how hard you all work and we could not do it without you. In fact, when I was a patient myself about a year and a half ago, it made a CNA’s day when I said that they “rock”. Keep up the good work!
“Your company is understaffed to increase the bottom line.” How does that translate to a patient waiting for their overworked nurse to give them their pain medicine as they lay suffering? Because their nurse can’t attend to them because he is performing CPR on his other patient.
The nursing profession is different than any other and for you to suggest otherwise is insulting. I wonder if you are so understanding of your wife why you are belittling her profession.
I am just barely finishing my first semester in LVN school. I’ve been in and around the medical field for the past 10 years as a medic and ER Tech and have experienced my fair share of patient care. I’m not even a nurse yet and I am just completely dumbfounded by some of these outrageously rude comments. I don’t think this blog was intended to offend anyone or their profession. People from all types of professions have been venting about their jobs at one point or another for as long as there has been jobs. So what are some of you posters getting all defensive for? It’s just a blog, that one person wrote, about some of the struggles she has dealt with as a nurse. Can you say that you have never once in your life ever vented, complained about a job, or never had a day when you just didn’t feel like going in? If you say no, you’re a damn liar! That has happened to everyone at least once in their life. No one ever said that nursing was the MOST stressful job ever, and yes there are plenty of other jobs out there that are just as stressful, but I’m its own unique way, just like nursing is stressful in IT’S own unique way. I would know this because I am married to a police officer. That is stressful too and I’ve seen it and lived it first hand. Could any of you haters out there sit in a 5×8 room with a 4 year old little girl crying, while she explains to you how her daddy, stepdad, uncle or grandpa just sexually assaulted her by sticking his hands down her pants? Then after you’re done talking with her, have to sit two feet across from and interview the person she said did it to her all while grinding your teeth, biting your lip and using every single ounce of your being to keep from flying over the table and beating the snot out of him??? Think you could do it? Because I know for damn sure I couldn’t and I can admit that freely! Each job has there own unique stressors and hardships. But until you “think” you know ALL the ins and outs of each job, who are you to judge? Nobody that’s who! As far as nursing….come back and comment again when you have a job that from the moment you get to work until the time you leave work, and then some if you’re on call, where you are holding multiple patient’s LIVES in your hands every single second during your entire shift. See if you come out of there with zero physical or mental exhaustion. I betting you do!
I’m not a nurse and I will not disagree that it has to be a very hard job. I have spent a lot of time in the hospital in the last 3 years and I’ve had my share of excellent nurses but I have also has those who didn’t really care enough and really have no business being a nurse.
A comment to one nurse complaint: the hospital I am usually in patients or families of patients are not allowed where the ice machine is so we have to politely ask a nurse to get it for us.
I require pain medication every so many hours and they laws in my state indicate that I need to ask for those specific meds when I am staying in a hospital (I take pain meds on a regular basis due to my issues). Unlike my anti depressant I wouldn’t receive my pain medication automatically. I would usually call the nurse 15 mins before I was allowed to take it only to have to wait over an hour (one time almost two) for a nurse to respond. Sometimes the nurses are at their station and give the appearance of throwing the bull. God forbid if I was due at shift change. When I need to wait so long that I become physically ill from the pain, that is a problem.
Again, I don’t doubt that nurses have a hard job but discount *who* they are there for. They are there for those who most times cannot help themselves. If I were able to administer my own NEEDED medication then I would not bother a nurse who might have a patient who is worse off than I am but alas I am usually a patient in a hosptal for a reason … I’ve had 4 surgies in the last 3 years.
However, like teachers nurses choose their profession *knowing* what they are gettig into. If it’s no longer the job you thought it was then get out of it but good luck doing that in this economy. Feel lucky that you have a job and are able to work.
Well said, however I have one those “great schedule” jobs you mentioned and let me tell you as a DSD in long term care, it is not a peice of cake either! I may have the 8-5 hrs, but more times than not I am there 2-4 hrs past my time and since I am in charge of nurses and cna schedules, my phone goes off multiple times a day for either “call ins” or request for time off, even at 2am when I am trying to sleep, I must tend to scheduling. There have been many times I’d give up this “great schedule” to just do my shift n go home, but like most of you I love nursing. I do work hard to keep constant contact n communication withy staff so if they are feeling “overwhelmed” I can replace them or work myself. I think over the past 23 yrs I’ve been in nursing it just continues to get harder and no matter what field of nursing you’re in, we all face challenges. God bless us all!
I’m terrified and excited to get started making a difference nursing takes strength I hope I have the strength I need to be great like the pt need
New reader of your blog. Let me first say that most haters of any profession have never done it. So, if someone has struck a nerve when they said nurses suck, move on because they are not worth the breath.
Some commenters have tried to get y’all to see that other professions are similar. I think this is what we should focus on. Why? Because we can support each other.
I was a police officer for 13 years (we too are hated, disrespected and worked to the bone). Unlike firefighters, whom I like, as a cop I was only waived at with 1 finger! As I’m sure a nurse feels too often.
After some injuries from police work that won’t let me return, I have chosen to get my Masters in Nursing through a unique program (RN/MSN) in Calif. While I have not had the experiences of personally working a shift as a certified RN yet, I can related with the 12-20 hr shifts I had as a police officer. Yet when I would walk in to a hopspital with an injured “client” I felt as though we were on opposing teams when in fact I think cops, nurses, teachers and the like can relate well.
Just as I thought about police work, things are changing in that job and nursing and not for the positive in my opinion a lot of the time. But what is the famous quote by Edmund Burke? “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
Don’t let the job gway you down so much where your heart turns rock hard. You have a very difficult job!!! Find one of us newbies and teach us how to do something old school. I can’t wait to ask some old salty nurse to show me how to pull a BP with a cuff and stethoscope. Or how to have heart rate monitor ear (radio ear as us cops call it) on how to monitor a patient not just by the alarms that go off when something goes wrong.
My point, even if you can’t move to get a new breath of life, find something that gives you meaning. Training a replacement to a high standard is the ultimate compliment I think. Cuz a true student will give props in public about who taught them.
I’ve had 7 knee surgeries, 2 spine surgeries, a broken hand/finger, ribs, and the like and the nurse not the Dr is what made or broken my experience.
May all you nurses feel loved, even if it’s when you are just changing the bed pan on that crotchety old man who hit the call button ever minute.
“Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.”-Unknown
Even though I am EMT, I know what it is like to take crap, miss out on family holidays/meals/time, be verbally abused, etc. Family that have never worked in medical field or public safety, don’t understand why our jobs are 24/7 and why we are not able to spend time with them at times because do our jobs. So at times our relationships do suffer because of the job
I agree totally with this nurse. I have had many of the same experiences. One day, I was charge nurse AND I had 9 patients. All had central lines, several had PEG TUBES. Besides being charge, I was the only RN.
It is hard to remember that nursing is an honorable profession when u feel that nobody cares while u r being abused…….. Being screwed actually. It sucks.
I have just graduated from nursing school and am in the process of interviewing for a position in a hospital where I currently work as a tech. Your blog both reinforced what my wonderful and insightful nursing instructors drilled into our heads from day one about self-care, and also scared the poo-poo out of me realizing what I’m about to get myself into. I am entering the nursing profession at 51 years old, and I pray that my body can handle everything I’m about to throw at it. I admire the nurses I work with and pray that I will be as good as they are someday.
OMG! This is 100% accurate. I couldn’t have said it better.
I wanted to comment on time off. I NEVER took time off just for myself unless I was actually sick. I fell off a horse and broke 8 ribs,a collar bone and while hospitalized for 3 weeks with chest tubes for collapsed lungs, not once did anybody I worked with ever call or send a card. my husband had to call and tell my boss this. then did I receive flowers but still no call to ask how I was doing. I returned to work after 8 weeks and a transfer to a different facility within the company and a pay cut(my request to accommodate a better schedule). Then when I worked a different job, I took off early due to my mother going to the ER. while taking care of her over 6 months and even when she died I only took my allowed 3 days off. I also never received a card and was reprimanded on return to work when I was told that work needed to be made up (someone was covering my assignments but they were not asked why my patients were not seen). There are definite clichés among nurses, and some are great people. I have had some great friends among my coworkers. but for most of my years, when things got rough I felt very isolated and alone. I worked hospice for 4 years and these were some of the best years of my career but after a move to another city and during this time I was taking care of my mother. I decided not to look for a new job with hospice so I took a job as a home care nurse to continue with the one on one care I liked. The move, caring for my mom (long distance of 60 miles one way when I did visit) a new job, loss of friends. Also, my husband lost his job 2 weeks after we moved and he also had to regroup and started a whole new career. I don’t even know how we survived it all. It is now 6 years later and I recently lost my job. I now am done with nursing. I don’t know what I am going to do at this time yet. I’m not as young and as resilient as I used to be. but I guess all I’m saying is Employers need to treat healthcare workers better if they want to retain staff. We are human and it takes a lot of time and money to train us. Stop treating us like we are replaceable because we are the ones who tell our kids and friends this is the greatest field of work (or not).
Goodness to Betsy! This is for all of you bloggers that responded negatively toward this release of pressure from this nurse! I am not even a nurse but I do know some hardships of a regular job. Yes, I will have a frustrating day with the computer, co-worker, or miss a lunch break. But I am pretty sure the rest of the of us who have an office job ARE NOT THROWN UP ON, YELLED AT, OR ASSAULTED ONLY TO HAVE TO MOVE ONTO THE NEXT PATIENT WITH A SMILE! Yes, we all sign up for jobs to provide for ourselves and others; but for those of you that have no mercy for these incredible people who went to school day after day just to tell you that you have an infected splinter in your foot because you did not know what was “hurting” and you could not figure it out! THAT’S WHY WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR THESE MEN AND WOMAN WHO PUT THEIR OWN LIVES ASIDE, LEARN EVERYTHING THEY CAN TELL HELP US IN OUT TIME OF NEED, AND THEN YOU HIDE BEHIND A COMPUTER SCREEN AND SAY THEY ARE COMPLAINING?!? Shame on all of you and your cold hearts for the men and woman who take care of us. And for the men and woman who do hold our hands when we are scared, the ones that adjust the pillow because we have bed soars, the mean and woman that truly only live for others, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, you are truly angels on earth.
You have to remember they chose that line of work. No one forced them to become a nurse and frankly it’s very rare that I’ve ever had a nice nurse treat me or a family member. They are all mean and resentful and it baffles me because they chose to be a nurse, then they hate their jobs?? Weird.
SeattleMD, if you’re finding that EVERY nurse who cares for you or your family is “mean and resentful,” I’d say that maybe you need to take a good look at how you’re treating them.
I can personally vouch that there are a whole lot of nice, caring nurses out there. I’ve seen that both as a coworker and a patient. But nurses are human, and humans don’t have infinite patience and sweetness, nor are they endowed with special powers to take away all pains and frustrations instantly. Maybe a bit less judgmental attitude, and a little more empathy, would yield better results?
Perhaps you are in the wrong profession! The expectation of any and all essential service’s workers is the professional choice to put the regard of others before yourself! Yes it’s challenging, however in order to give care, you have to care!
i think you miss the point here.
I think you really didn’t get the point of my post. I was venting after several stressful days at work. Using a journal to write about stress is a healthy coping mechanism. It would be worse for me to carry the stress around all the time, letting it affect my sleep and my life.
I wrote this post back in August and then I slept well. I wrote it so I would sleep well because it helped me decompress.
I am SO DAMN GOOD at being a nurse. I love my job, the majority of my co-workers, and my hospital. That doesn’t mean I am blind to the problems facing the nursing profession as a whole, or that I can’t work to fix them.
No way I’m leaving my job.
This is a great blog Thank you!
Let’s not forget the nurse’s aides. I’ve been an aide for 5 years, & have worked every holiday in that time. I’ve worked with some of the most rude nurses, & some of the nicest. I’ve cleaned up every disgusting mess imaginable, and have occasionally worked 64 hours in one week. Aides do all of this & more, generally while being a student at the same time.
I have a low tolerance for those nurses who have never worked as an aide because I feel they often have a false sense of reality when it comes to what is actually required of a nurse, & how they will be treated. Neither are good, so it’s better to know what’s expected rather than come into the situation being naive.
Also, many individuals come into this field when they have no business doing so. Various atmospheres affect people differently, just look at psychiatric nurses once they retire (many have absorbed years of caring for the mentally distraught in a negative way [they literally go crazy]).
So do everyone a favor & think of this before you make your career choice based off of popular demand, salary, or false expectations.
As i said to another poster, I appreciate CNAs. I know what you go through, because I was one before I became a nurse. We are all a team and we could not do it without you.
I am a nurse who can relate to what this nurse was saying. I also want to let get know that I appreciate her sharing. To those who so sharply criticized her: back off, jerks! She has the right to ve express her frustration. Like someone else here said, everyone has bitched about their job at one time or another. She didn’t say we have THE most stressful job, so give her a break. I know what Its like to work a sixty plus hour week, with no time to eat, certainly no dinner break for 19 or 20 shifts in a row, and barely time to pee. And all that time, you must continue to be comforting, strong, and mentally alert, all while smiling when you feel like crying or screaming. Then when you are finally through, you feel guilty for not having done more.
Thank you to this woman, and to all who give so much of themselves.
Thank you. This is a beautifully written blog and so true. I used to have nights where I wouldn’t sleep for worry about work and days where I felt physically sick about going into work. I used to feel the weight of responsibility so heavy for all the things I just didn’t have time to get done. Instead of easing the load and giving us time to care by increasing staffing numbers, it seemed we were constantly being audited to find ways to speed us up. We are people, we look after people, nursing takes time. To reiterate what has already been said; please support nurse to patient ratios.
Ok, after reading Rach’s comment I decided to track back and find Anne’s comment. All I can say is WTF!!!
Whilst I am not a nurse, my mother is and has been for the past… damn, I just realized that it’s been almost 50 years since she did her training. She is a psychiatric nurse, dealing with the ‘mentally challenged’ and I can tell you from years of observation that it is one of, if not the most mentally challenging jobs out there. She is 67 years old and wouldn’t trade her job for the world, but…
She has been hit, spat on, shat on, pissed on, kicked, punched, strangled, almost raped, had to deal with hospital bureaucracy (which is probably worse that all the other crap she puts up with), then there are the ungrateful bastards like Anne that think its a glamorous, well paid job with great benefits. All I can say is what freaking planet do you live on Anne.
I used to work as a horse breaker and trainer, One of the easiest jobs I ever had. I made ten times what she made per hour. Worked about four or five hours a day and only as many days a week as I wanted to, Even though it was work it was great fun as well. So, no – It’s not great pay nor is it easy work. When others that have no bloody idea why she stays in this type of work tell her to quit. She tells them it’s not just a job, it’s a calling.
You really need to wake up to yourself Anne. You dick…
Thank you for the article. There is a serious problem with healthcare and the system. There is a problem with the perception of nursing. There is a problem with society and how they utilize healthcare. There is a problem and disparity in all aspects of healthcare. There IS a problem in general. I can tell you if the nurse to patient ratio was 3:1 in any circumstance or even if it was delegated according to acuity, it would be a safer environment. People generally think that THEY are the ONE who is THE MOST IMPORTANT person in the WORLD. And I laud them for that cause oneself is important.
i’ve seen the seriously ill and dying individual, people newly diagnosed with cancer and the somber/sorrow/the “I don’t know what the fuck just hit me” mood. I’ve seen people who roll in like its the hyatt frequently and utilize the medications that give them the “high”, when a person with a chopped off hand can benefit from it more. I’ve seen the family/facilities dropping the patient off near the holidays to keep an eye on their dementia/alzheimer loved ones, while they celebrate the holiday. I have seen the entitled people and humble people. I have SEEN a wide range of folks as a nurse.
It is interesting in society, how if a person has a friend that does NOTHING but whine and whine and whine…that person is distance cause (maybe) its mentally draining..(?!?!)… And yet, in healthcare, we are listening and trying to care for the ailments the individual complain of… Should we tell them to buck the fuck up.. NO!. It is just interesting.
I don’t know an individual that can lift weight 8-12 hrs straight and tell someone else that they FEEL GREAT!… Try lifting/repositioning/turning/transfering a person who is two to three times your weight for 8-12 straight hrs… while society’s morbid obesity is on the rise and ill people are on the rise… Tell me you feel like Johnny Bravo… and you can do this as your career.
Emotionally, we are all human. No ONE person will “click” with everyone, meet everyone’s expectations…yet we are expected to…
People are worried about profits and becoming rich while being the best in healthcare. I can tell you that if the nurses are well taken care of in an organization of healthcare, that will be manifested. I can tell you… The most important thing is that the HEALTH OUTCOMES BEING THE BEST OUTCOME POSSIBLE FOR A SICK PERSON is the MOST important than profits to the individual, family members and loved ones. I have YET to see someone die because of PAIN…its a management issue where pharmaceuticals are profiting off of the addicted, liking the “feeling” individuals feel when given into the veins or even by mouth. Its almost like heroin, but legal…there are people who fall in this category…without realizing it. All narcotic pain medication dwindles out and last about 1 week in the system, yet peak and stays up to 8 hours, when given.. and yet we hear people telling us that they NEED it at the 3rd or 4th hour… interesting isn’t it?!
I don’t know about anyone else… but SOMETHING IS SIGNIFICANTLY WRONG in healthcare and society and everyone’s perceptions about expectations. Aren’t nurses here to bring out the best outcomes for the sick while working with docs and the patient? Maybe we are ALL sick in the head…
I’ll leave it at THAT. Thank you if you took the time to read.
Thank you for this very well thought out comment. I appreciate that you took the time to understand my post.
I agree, you should have kept this in a different forum.
Sister this is gold… Everything mentioned I relate to not so getting hit by a car. Only for the fact that I’ll end up at work anyway. knowing my luck with a IDC in me – put in by god knows who… I think kidnapped by aliens will be a more satisfying explination as to my absence from work 🙂
Where ?
L Bearne, What forum should she keep it in? This is her personal blog, it is HER forum.
Grimalkin, thank you for voicing what we nurses feel, and being real about it.
Mandy.
Yes I agree,Thank You.
You are obviously not a nurse or a person with feelings. Who cares what forum it’s in? It was a great thing to read and should be an eye opener for anyone who hasn’t worked as a nurse. Shame on you, learn to be nicer.
One of the main probs with nursing is the punitive dark ages hospital bureaucracy. When are nurses going to be given a choice of their working hours. Why do all the day shifts have to be 8 hours? Why can’t there be short shifts at high activity times, so that mums can work and pick their kids up from school and not have to pay for after school care?
As patients are getting heavier, sicker, with multiple problems, the time to do basic care is increasing at an alarming rate. Each time someone tells me the nurse just has to use a lifter, I want to knock them into next week. Time and space project would show how huge the problem is. How much time and how many nurses does it take to nurse a patient who is over 250kg?
Nurses need to start looking after themselves, saying no to overtime/ double shifts. Report all incidents and get treatment. Don’t go to work sick. When I was doing my hospital training in the ’70s, matron announced proudly she had more than 300+ accrued sick days.
Nurses support each other and be proactive.
I will finish on a T shirt quote,
“Be nice to nurses, they stop doctors from accidentally killing you”.
I loved the insight into nurses not practicing self-care when they encourage others to do just that. We all need to learn this, so we can continue to do what we have to do.
It’s reassuring to hear that others feel this need to be ‘called off’ or ‘stay home’. I thought I was the one with the problem. 🙂
You absolutely are not the problem. Nurses are the people who make sure our patients pee at least every 6 hours but we often go 10-12 hours without a trip to the bathroom ourselves.
We’re heading into the first of the year, which is really busy where I am, but I’ve found when I’m really mentally taxed, if I call and even get a few hours off of a 12 hour shift, the stress is decreased.
Amen and may we have as much mercy on ourselves as we have on others every second of every day.
This article really reminds me of why I left Canada. Having worked as a Reg-Nurse in Canada (Peterborough), England (London) and now Norway (Bergen), it’s the same story throughout the world. Nurses and generally all Health Care Workers are overworked and underpaid in comparison to those in the Private sector.
Norway is without a doubt the “best-of-the-bad”, but here is the difference. Working 100%/ Full time is 35.5 hrs a week and 7.5 hr shifts. 5 weeks holidays and 25 sick days (with full pay) + 10 sick days, extra, for every child you have under 12yrs. In Intensive care, we’re staffed 1-1, patients rarely weigh over 90 kg (200lbs) and I’m usually not the most experienced Nurse on duty despite having graduated in ’92!
***** And these Nurses still complain! ****** And for the record, I stopped complaining after working 5 years in England. There is no other Hell on Earth, like and public Hospital, in Central London.
Now, on my Nights when it gets tough, I remember my days working on the farms; And suddenly warm, dry and clean isn’t so bad!
One thing I’ve learned, over the years, is rarely do you encounter a profession where your clients throw-up, give up, cry or die while you’re at work. It’s the mental exhaustion that we truly have difficulty with.
I wish all my colleagues The Best of Luck! Work Smarter; Not Harder. In Norwegian, lykke til.
Nurses are a gift from God! I visit the Ste-Anne Center quite often and I observe and admire the way that the patients are being treated. Thank God for them…………………. They are very Special people.
Everything in this post is so true… I am not a nurse yet still have one more year before I can wear the title of R.N. but I have been a patient care tech (nurse’s aide) for the last 2.5yrs… people really just dont understand the struggle that bedside healthcare professionals go through on a daily basis… it is truly hard work and it definitely takes a special kind of person to take care of sick people for a living especially when we are all so underpaid and overworked…
I will do my best to help out by loving and supporting the future nurse I am about to marry. That is a job that I would never want!
I am not a nurse, but my husband is (in an ICU) so I am on the other side of this as the one being married to a nurse. He never really talks about that stuff like this so it’s nice to hear what other nurses go through, it definitely gives me some insight into what my husband does and feels at work sometimes! It is hard sometimes being married to a nurse, especially a night shift nurse, but I love the work he does it makes me very proud!
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could resolved to work out some of the woes of nursing. Splitting shifts, those who don’t celebrate working a shift in place of someone who does. Recently, when census was down our unit reach a mutual decision to let one nurse go home to visit with her mother who was visiting…why? Because it was the right thing to do. To bad at other times we must demand it. Great post.
Thanks for sharing. You aptly describe some of the difficulties of being a nurse. This year marked my 20th anniversary of graduating from nursing school. If you count the years before I was board certified, then I have been a nurse more than half my life. I think I am qualified to speak about nursing – and some of the people who have commented above are way out of line. They clearly are missing the picture. Unfortunately, many people go into nursing, not because they have a true desire to help others but, because they think they can go to school for a couple years and make great money. They don’t consider all of the sacrifices like working 14+ hour shifts, spending their weekends/holidays/vacations at the hospital instead of with their families, and everything else that goes along with the job. That’s why I went back to school and got my Masters and why I work in Wellness instead of at a health clinic or hospital; I did my time in the hospital (and have the utmost respect for nurses who cover our hospitals). With all that it entails, after 20+ years, I can honestly say that I would choose to be a nurse again. Call it luck, chance or destiny, I was fortunate enough to find my calling and have made a successful and rewarding career out of it. The vast majority of people never figure out why they are on this Earth and what they are supposed to do. For that I am grateful and for all the people who have impacted my life along the way. Thank you for doing what you do!
I sadly can agree with these statements from both sides. But what really makes me angry are people who make untrue statements such as nursing is not mentally challenging. I have been a trauma/cardio thoracic ICU nurse for 10 years. Now I am a pediatric ICU nurse. If nursing is not mentally challenging then I do not know what is. I will say this to your ignorance, your nurses spend 24hrs a day with you, your doctors spend 5mins with you. It’s the nurses running all the machines and life support. Many days a nurse in ICU barely can go to the bathroom in 12-16hrs. So I can only say this, when you or your loved one is critically ill, I can only hope and pray that nurse is mentally challenged because otherwise the outcome will not be good. Thank you to all my fellow nurses out there, I respect what we do! God Bless!
Referred to me by a nursing/horsepistol relative.
DIALED IN post from GrimalkinRN. Kudos, gurl!
This post/blog has LEGS!!!
Haven’t read all the responses yet; had to chime in on the original.
Way, WAY long tale to toss in from a nurse’s kid; good luck!
Alllll most sorry for the length, but when I get on a keyboard jag, it’s tough to wrap it sometimes…
I’ve seen, lived and been part of the ‘altar of nursing’.
I get it; I hear ya, feel ya, and all that.
My background:
Me dear ma was a nurse. Ahh, Joann!
SaaaaaLUTE to the vapors she went to on passing!
Post WW 2 Wavy Nave corpsman from Lockport, NY.
19 yo, 3000 miles free and clear of home base…hooo, boy!
On a Merchant Marine transport from SF to Hawaii/Japan.
Navy chick: ~ ’47 – 52/3.
Met me da on board and such.
East Coast gurl meets a native SF West Coast boy…sheesh…
Whirlwind courtship, TONS of partying and wed they got.
I ‘spect my mom (eldest of 5) laid groundwork for her clan.
I’ve got 4+ more nurses/MD’s on mom’s side after her:
PhD aunt; neo-natal cousin; IT cousin; Internal Med MD uncle, married-in brain specialist cousin, etc., etc.
Workin’ shifts to edjimacatin’.
I’m a nurse’s kid.
I worked as a lab tech @ Snodfart Hosp in Surg Path & Cytology for a couple years. Formalin breather! Who needed a mask back then? Do yer job, get paid, party out! Health hazards? Who knew??? I started on pickled lungs BEFORE I started smokin’ cigs…
After hatching 4 kids, Mom got her LVN and went back to work to add to the thin/stretched familial coffers.
Mom worked from ~66 to ~78 as an eve/pm/owl/night/graveyard nurse.
PURPOSELY selected shift to avoid the ‘whack job’ DAY administrators/MDs/patients. Mostly extended care, but had her share of ‘regular’ floor residents/crew.
Sequoia Horsepistol, Redwood City, CA. 2 miles from home…
Me? Eldest of 3 sibs who grew up as nurse’s kids in NorCal.
No hockey games out here back then.
I rode my bike to a LOT of my Little League/13-15 baseball games, both playing and umpiring,
Miles and hills between home and fields.
I rode it home more often than not. Just how it went.
Bless her heart; mom would show up @ played games; late, mostly; with my 3 sibs in tow. Cheer it out, toss my bike in the trunk and we’d head home.
THOSE were the good days!
Chow down and get her ready for work!
In my later kid/baseball years, my thighs and calves grew to epic proportions for a youngster; she had my 3 youngers to schlep around to kid stuff. I figured it out.
Transport = 2 wheels, 4 if/when available.
2 wheels was certain, 4 was a crapshoot.
I got to my games and back home to take care of biz.
Mom’s catch phrase = ‘Feed ’em late and anything tastes good’…
We NEVER had a specific ‘family meal’ time.
Just didn’t work. 4 kids, crazy scheduies w/da included.
Dad worked @ a linear accelerator @ Stanford.
WW Hansen Labs; medium energy linear acc physics stuff.
Wierd hours for extended periods..
Hungry? Hit the fridge!
Make a sandwich or something…figure it out! PB’s in the cupboard, jelly in the fridge, butter on the counter.
Maybe some braunschweiger, cheese and mayo/mustard?
Shivering…
All 4 kids learned to cook food @ an early age; survival passed on down the line…Mom wasn’t a very good cook.
Shoe leather (East coast style?) meats…
Dad larned us @ the stove.
Somewhere around age 10/11, I got the:
‘Here’s how to work the washer, and the dryer, and the iron, and the sewing machine…figure it out…I gotta get some sleep’ from mom.
Us kids did what we needed to make it work.
I larned my sibs.
As best I could, I chilled mom out after bad shifts; while I got my sibs up and out for school.
I fed my sibs while she got some zzz’s before her shift.
We all chipped in to brush her hair and rub her feet/ankles/calves/scalp to shore her up.
When the wheels fell off (separation/divorce), it was less pretty. Somewhere around my 14/15 yo marker.
Me da was around and contributing mightily until she blew her marital gasket. He held the blow up in check as long as able; tossed in the Durant towel after a long journey.
Somehow, he kept us younguns saner and wiser along the way.
Post separation/divorce, I rode my bike to taverns to haul her home on quite a few ‘nights off’. School nights, mostly…yeah, good times…
Tossed my bike in the trunk and drove her up the hill to home.
Kinda karmatic???
I took care of it best I could and rolled on.
Booze/bottles were THIS nurse’s painkiller back in the early 70’s till the end of her drinking career.
Clean/sober for 20 plus years after.
Breast cancer survivor (dbl mast) ta boot.
Her best (only?) friends? Nurses!
I TRULY enjoyed the nurse humor, dark and ‘gallows-esque’ as it was. Real and to the point, in a humorous way!
Trade my upbringing for an upgrade/mulligan/do-over?
NO WAY, NO HOW.
No, as in: “HELL NO!!!”
I have that ‘help others first, take care of yourself later’ in my gene pool.
Just how it is.
What I saw and how I was raised.
I’m happy and (relatively) comfortable with it.
It’s cost me personally on a few occasions, but I’m currently: 57, awake, breathing and employed.
No cherry needed on THAT sundae!
The nuts on the sundae?
Family members in the health professions!
And a few others…
A personal fave TV commercial w/the tool guys:
After whacking off a finger on a table saw: “Nahh, I’m good”.
Bowling ball on the head? ‘I’m good, my bad…’
Family ‘motto’?
Some days it’s like: ‘yeah, I’m 3 quarts low on blood from the 2 50 cal slugs in my back…nahh, I’m good…what needs handling right now? ON IT!’.
Kinda like Joann would utter; under her breath, of course!
Nurses ARE the sargents and corporals of the enlisted/drafted medical zone. Ground pounders who know the lay of the land, where to run and where NOT to. Who to avoid; who to ‘yes, sir’ and then do it your own way, which is better and more proper, as long as it’s under the administrator’s radar…
I get it.
Thanks to supportive crews; families, et all,
And a d’Artagnon’s cap, bow-to-the-ground swoop, to all nurses, from a nurse’s kid.
May I place my cape on the puddle you wish to walk beyond, mam-zelle?
Florence Nightingale may have started it all; current crews continue the path!
Pat
Thank you GrimalkinRN! I admire the job you and all nurses do!
I’ve had a couple friends who were nurses. They echoed many of the same things you did – the groping, being physically assaulted, sexually harassed as well as dealing with the emotions of people dying. I could not do the job you all do.
I hope you are able to find ways to take care of yourself mentally as well as physically when you are not at work.
You have my utmost respect.